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How long did it take before you were completely over them?

Iwantittoend

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Iwantittoend Proficient

Iwantittoend

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I was broken up with about 6 months ago with someone I was deeply in love with. At first, I took it really hard. I got angry and closed off from everyone. I thought our feelings were mutual, but she threw it all away over some very petty things. Then a little after that, it almost felt like a release from being held down for so long. I thought of all the times I was there for her and how she treated me so poorly in return at times. Then a recession kicked in and I thought about her constantly for awhile. Then not so much, a lot again, etc...

 

I just couldn't get the good times out of my head. It seemed like any time I would go out with someone, I'd compare them to her. I put her up on a pedestal that she did not deserve. I guess it's just a part of the grieving process.

 

Lately though, I've ran into her a couple times. Every time she has ignored me, and I've also seen just how bad of a person she's become. She's nothing like she used to be. Her personality, morals, lifestyle, and everything are all different now. She thinks she's the best person in the world but deep down there's so much wrong with her. I can't even believe I dated her at one time. I had planned on writing her a letter awhile back, but now I really have no desire to. I'm glad I sent her nothing. She isn't worth my time anymore. I know she'll find someone else, but that's their problem now...

 

I never thought it would've taken this long, but I'm finally over her after all this time.

 

How long did it take everyone on here? What kind of experiences did you have in the process?

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Pocket Rocket Enthusiast

Pocket Rocket

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Hmmm it depends on how deeply I felt about the person, not necessarily the length of time I was with them. It usually took anything between 6 months to a year or so. I think the abandonment issues and low self esteem prolonged the feeling though. The important thing is that I got over all of them, eventually. And there's no way I'd go back now

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chopperboy Apprentice

chopperboy

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Still far from over her, but working on it day by day. If it helps any, your situation sounds similar to mine in that the women we love no longer exist - they changed into different people. Treat it like a death of someone dear, and don't hold on to hope for a second chance. That hope is what keeps you from really getting over that person. You need to grieve, and put that history to rest. And that just takes time.

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mattysfun Rookie

mattysfun

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Still far from over her, but working on it day by day. If it helps any, your situation sounds similar to mine in that the women we love no longer exist - they changed into different people. Treat it like a death of someone dear, and don't hold on to hope for a second chance. That hope is what keeps you from really getting over that person. You need to grieve, and put that history to rest. And that just takes time.

 

 

 

thats actually really good advice. i think im going to use that.

 

thank you!!!

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audrey28 Enthusiast

audrey28

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i am not sure if i am completely over the ex, but i sure have moved on.

 

i have built my life back. although i still think about him on a daily basis, it's more of a force of habit. mostly there are good days, days when i am truly happy and grateful to be alive. during the bad days i would be overwhelmed with emotions of loneliness/anger/false hopes (take your pick).

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Iwantittoend Proficient

Iwantittoend

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Still far from over her, but working on it day by day. If it helps any, your situation sounds similar to mine in that the women we love no longer exist - they changed into different people. Treat it like a death of someone dear, and don't hold on to hope for a second chance. That hope is what keeps you from really getting over that person. You need to grieve, and put that history to rest. And that just takes time.

 

Never really thought of it that way, but it's so true. They are out of your life now. If you see them again, it's almost like a ghost coming back to haunt you. It's such an awkward experience. I know the feeling so well.

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hisoldflame Newbie

hisoldflame

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i am not sure if i am completely over the ex, but i sure have moved on.

 

i have built my life back. although i still think about him on a daily basis, it's more of a force of habit. mostly there are good days, days when i am truly happy and grateful to be alive. during the bad days i would be overwhelmed with emotions of loneliness/anger/false hopes (take your pick).

 

that's how i feel, though i haven't totally rebuilt my life just yet. it's hard, but i'm working on getting some structure to it. i moved to a new neighborhood, so i don't feel i have my bearings yet.

 

i now have many more good days than bad vs. 8 months ago, but when the bad ones come up, i get so sad. i think at this point it's still that battle for wanting what's familiar.

 

the one positive that i'm starting to get is that these things force you to look at yourself and others and figure out what is important to you. in that sense, even though it's so painful, it's a real learning opportunity. i feel that now more than with any other relationship i've come out of.

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