knightingale Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 I've heard the horror stories of these particular ladies, witnessed it with friends: showing up at 1am at their ex's door (usually drunk), calling obsessively either crying or wanting to yell about something or other, occasional vandalism, some physical violence, pestering the new woman in his life etc. I haven't done any of this. I would never do any of this. But I am unsettled slightly by what I have done and I want to know if I can be categorized as Crazy-Psycho-Ex-Girlfriend behavior, or if it is just somewhat normal behavior. Things I have done--in detail (sorry): --A mutual friend of ours took on spy duty for me in finding out if The Ex was seeing someone else, because even though I asked if he was he said he wasn't, but the clues were all there. Not to mention, I have killer intuition. Eventually I witnessed it for myself at a bar (they kissed) and he came clean the next day, though only saying that they aren't dating they are just "hanging out" and interested in one another--i.e. she's allowing him have the benefits of dating without any effort on his part, and providing him with another drinking buddy. Since then, the friend has still been keeping tabs, and it seems that the public affection between them has died down a lot--practically non-existent--now they are just bar buddies other people. But I have also since told my friend to stop, because I can't control what happens and any news--good or bad--doesn't help me move on. --I have gone to said bars on a couple of occasions, last night for the main example, knowing there would be a chance he would be there with her, and wound up keeping tabs from a distance. I just stood around, having fun with those I came with, but those I was with also kept an eye on the goings on. I know he saw them looking from time to time and I know, I was caught looking once. She and him didn't really appear at all chummy like before, just sitting in the same booth beside one another with mutual friends. He also kept looking back at me--for what reason, I'm not sure, could be a lot of reasons. Could be good reasons, could be bad reasons, could have just been curiosity. I may never know. --We'd exchanged messages two weekends ago back and forth concerning our past relationship, our current one, what the future holds etc. Some of it was rational. Some of it was angry. We talked that Sunday in person when I went to get my stuff from his place, to give him something I'd been meaning to give him, hugged a lot, joked a lot, talked a lot, and then that was the last I saw him. I blocked him that Tuesday (22nd) on facebook, myspace and aim. This past weekend I sent him an explanation why--that I was doing it to move on from all of this, that it wasn't some tantrum I had and that I had thought long and hard about it before I did it. That once I have forgiven some of his actions as of late and moved on from this, we can be friends. Then I got a little heavy, telling him that I meant everything I ever said to him when we were together, that I really loved that guy--gave examples--but that if he needs to be this person he is now, wants to be this person, then so be it. But that I am not going to subject myself to it because that's not the person I fell in love with. I then told him not to contact me, that I will do it when the time is right. And if, like last night, we see each other around, we'll just behave accordingly--which I guess means ignoring each other, even though we both know good and well the other is there. --I have driven by his place a couple of times. --I am able to access the current girl's profile and do from time to time. We aren't friends, we're just in the same network. So, I have been doing my share of internet stalking . . . I think that's my biggest downfall--I'm a bit of a creepy stalker. But I've decided to try and avoid where he is as much as I can now. We've only wound up at the same place five times since the break up (a month ago), two times I did it on purpose (in the beginning), the other two I was just taking a risk, and the other was a mutual friend's party that we both knew we would be at. We live in a small college town, with little to do, so it's not fool proof, but I'll do my best. Anyway. I know I am not THAT crazy. But I really don't want to earn the title through these minor offenses. Have I already? Sigh. Just give me the truth. I can take it. Link to comment
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