Would you tell? I need some honest and open-minded opinions...

[newcrossroad]

I was kinda thinking the same thing actually. When you were sleeping with him, I bet you weren't too concerned about him being a nasty pig that has unprotected sex and may spread a disease.

 

She deserves to know, but not from you.

 

what me and him had was more emotional than physical ( for me ). We had one round of the physical. And actually I always wanted her to know. Not because I wanted him for myself...but because in the back my mind as clouded as I was, I knew the whole thing was wrong.

 

I realized what a pig he was after the blinders came off.

 

What does it matter who it comes from if it's the truth that is said?

[V01D]

Because you are trying to stir up drama as a form of petty, childish revenge. A fling he had with you two years ago is way too long ago for you to have any reasonable justification to be meddling in their lives now. Let it go, this will not make you feel better.

[newcrossroad]

Because you are trying to stir up drama as a form of petty, childish revenge. A fling he had with you two years ago is way too long ago for you to have any reasonable justification to be meddling in their lives now. Let it go, this will not make you feel better.

 

I guess what you are saying would make sense given you don't understand the whole thing and what has happened since.

 

That person has never stopped... with me and with other people. After his kids where born a few months ago, he got worse. He started messing with me emotionally. Saying he loved me amongst other things. He is constantly lying and using people. I think people like him continue to do things to people because people dont do anything.

 

It's not about me feeling better. It's about a jerk not getting away with it over and over and over and over and over and over again...

[metrogirl]

I guess what you are saying would make sense given you don't understand the whole thing and what has happened since.

 

That person has never stopped... with me and with other people. After his kids where born a few months ago, he got worse. He started messing with me emotionally. Saying he loved me amongst other things. He is constantly lying and using people. I think people like him continue to do things to people because people dont do anything.

It's not about me feeling better. It's about a jerk not getting away with it over and over and over and over and over and over again...

 

 

That statement shows that you are bitter about the situation and your desire to tell his wife appears to be based on revenge and spite.

[V01D]

^Word.

 

And, what exactly is the reason you are in the position to be so close to him as to be emotionally messed with two years later?

[metrogirl]

^Word.

 

And, what exactly is the reason you are in the position to be so close to him as to be be emotionally messed with two years later?

 

Excellent question......I hadn't thought of that.

[newcrossroad]

^Word.

 

And, what exactly is the reason you are in the position to be so close to him as to be emotionally messed with two years later?

 

We work in the same place.

[newcrossroad]

That statement shows that you are bitter about the situation and your desire to tell his wife appears to be based on revenge and spite.

 

based on his actions... wouldn't anyone be bitter.. at least a little? I should be happy with this? Should I think that what happens is OK? Is that what you are saying?

[V01D]

You obviously thought it was OK while you were f***ing another woman's husband. That's why it looks like you don't really care about his wife or all these poor defenseless women who jump into bed with a married man, you just want to punish him. It will blow up in your face if you do this.

 

If you work together, then him emotionally messing with you at work is harassment and should be easily rectified.

[metrogirl]

based on his actions... wouldn't anyone be bitter.. at least a little? I should be happy with this? Should I think that what happens is OK? Is that what you are saying?

 

You don't need to be happy about anything that he is doing. His goose will get cooked soon enough. It's not your job to throw him in the oven.

 

He can't mess with you emotionally unless you allow him too. If you are allowing him this, then you are closer to him than you claim and that is why some of us believe that you are on a witch hunt.

[newcrossroad]

You obviously thought it was OK while you were f***ing another woman's husband. That's why it looks like you don't really care about his wife or all these poor defenseless women who jump into bed with a married man, you just want to punish him. It will blow up in your face if you do this.

 

If you work together, then him emotionally messing with you at work is harassment and should be easily rectified.

 

you're right, I do want to punish him. But not because I could not let this go. I tried. And I thought of him as a good person. But as time went on... and he has done what he has done it made me feel that people like him get away with things because others let it happen. He is disgusting and manipulative. Has no respect for ANY woman. Im not thinking about telling her because what happened between us was short-lived.... Im thinking about telling her because he's a piece of crap that does not care about anyone but himself and hurts people...especially her. I think it's wrong that he gets away with it.

 

how will it blow up in my face? it's not about me.

[V01D]

It is about you though. Because you're the one playing god with other peoples' lives, based on YOUR opinions/perceptions/experiences/emotions/etc. right? You're acting like you're doing this on behalf of all women everywhere, on behalf of his wife and child, on behalf of STD awareness, etc. but you need to be focusing on what's good for your own life right now. Which would include removing yourself from this messed up situation.

 

How will it blow up in your face? Well, the best thing you could hope to accomplish by doing this is to break up a family. Cool.

 

But what will probably happen is you will be known as an office hoe or whatever they call them where you work, and you will create a hostile work environment for both of you. If he gets away with all this "emotional messing with" at work, then I assume your company has no HR dept. or managers that you could report the retaliation he is sure to start doing to you immediately, and the only justice he would face is a minor fight with his wife, because she knows what kind of man she has.

 

It's just not a good idea, you'll be the better person if you just let it lay.

[newcrossroad]

V01D: I seriously get what you are saying. I have heard the argument from both sides of the spectrum. And I have heard women say they wish someone told them. But as you said... she knows what kind of husband she has. That is probably true... I do not know. I am not "acting" as if I am doing this for the reasons you stated. I honestly do feel that way. I am disgusted by the whole thing. Saying that I am "playing God" is a bit extreme, but I understood why you said it. I really don't want to cause anyone pain. I just see the pain going on and I feel since I "know" I am then partly responsible if it continues... if you can understand that.

 

If I do spill it, it would be anonymously and honestly without anything to do with me...just stating what has generally been going on. No names at all from everyone involved.

 

But I have not decided anything yet... because I don't want to cause her pain, and I do know that I should just concentrate in getting myself away from this as much as possible.

[V01D]

So, what are you thinking? A note under her windshield wiper written on a napkin in lipstick that reads "I know someone who f-ed your husband two years ago. He's sucks."? Or a phone call with one of those voice-altering things? "Hi wifey. I want to play a game." I mean, how do you expect this to turn out?

 

I don't want to cause her pain, and I do know that I should just concentrate in getting myself away from this as much as possible.

Exactly. Let's do dis.

[dqueen]

I don't get it. Why would you want to tell his wife he's cheating on her with other women when you yourself were the "other women"? Are you jealous of the other women he's sleeping around with or do you really care for the welfare of his wife? Hmmm...your motives behind this don't add up.

[catwalk]

I just don't think people like him should be getting away with this...

She knows. That is the worst part about this! You will tell her, she will get really mad inside & do nothing at all.

 

If he's really THAT bad, she knows full well who & what he is, but stays with him anyway. She must have her reasons, & making her upset won't help her OR punish him at all.

 

That is my opinion about this.

[Elizzy09]

Wow. Id be worried about possible STD's being passed around...

[mrmaximum]

Wow. Id be worried about possible STD's being passed around...

 

Exactly!!!!!