newcrossroad Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 A man cheats... I mean really cheats!!.. Has so for years with multiple women... A womanizer....a liar... a user and emotionally abusive has been married for 11 years... just had twins a few months ago... never stopped his cheating ways.... does not use protection when he does... has very little respect for women... thinks that being a man justifies it... there are many other factors .. but in a nutshell ... is a real scum bag. Given the above... do you think the wife should know about it? I have read some posts on this site how women say they would have wanted someone to tell them. The worst thing about this is that this guy goes about his life with a "I'm the slickest guy... and I'm getting away with this" attitude. I think the wife should know... even anonymously.... I mean why would anyone think it's OK for someone to continue to do this? Wanted to get other's opinions.... Link to comment
curiousofthat Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 I wouldn't want involved. But thats just me. Are you her friend? the other woman? Link to comment
Mutley Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 Sounds like the kinda guy women like! (hey wait...I'm just joking!!! she may already know....but just puts up with it, eh? Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 how close are you to the wife? Link to comment
curiousofthat Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 Sounds like the kinda guy women like! (hey wait...I'm just joking!!! she may already know....but just puts up with it, eh? exactly..... Link to comment
Jetta Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 You should have brought this up before the twins were conceived, now let it go. She probably knows but doesn't need to know. Link to comment
newcrossroad Posted August 1, 2008 Author Share Posted August 1, 2008 I wouldn't want involved. But thats just me. Are you her friend? the other woman? I don't want to be "involved". I use to be the ow 2 years ago. He just has never stopped pursuing in one way or another. Also... I see the way he is with other women... also finding out about what he has done in the past. It's not that he did something and that was that....it's that he is disgusting and abusive with many people. I just don't think people like him should be getting away with this... Link to comment
newcrossroad Posted August 1, 2008 Author Share Posted August 1, 2008 You should have brought this up before the twins were conceived, now let it go. She probably knows but doesn't need to know. why is having kids a reason not for her to know....? Because ignorance is bliss and their make-believe world would be thrown into reality? Honestly, I'm just disappointed by the amount of relationships that are faced with infidelity. It's very sad. Link to comment
John Bendix Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 Newcrossroads, It is sad. Infidleity and the Walkway Spouse Syndrome. Cannot think of two better reasons to never get married again. These two may be separate occuranaces but they can also be linked together. Link to comment
melrich Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 It's a really hard question. On balance I am not sure that you are the right person to be determining the answer as you may have residual issues. And I think it is a situation where an "answer" has to be determined because you really don't know what you may be running into. Link to comment
TechResQ Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 but anonymously, if possible. Do you have any ideas about how to tell his wife and be convincing? Sad, sad situation. Link to comment
Mutley Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 Walkway Spouse Syndrome. Cannot think of two better reasons to never get married again. What is the WSS? And why does that effect your decision never to get married again? Link to comment
newcrossroad Posted August 1, 2008 Author Share Posted August 1, 2008 but anonymously, if possible. Do you have any ideas about how to tell his wife and be convincing? Sad, sad situation. I thought of some ways. But wanted to get opinions on that too... Even more messed up is that this guy can catch an STD and pass it to her. Also how can anyone say they love their spouse and kids but be hunting for sex with other people? How can this be love? It makes me never want to get married. Link to comment
TechResQ Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 I thought of some ways. But wanted to get opinions on that too... Even more messed up is that this guy can catch an STD and pass it to her. Also how can anyone say they love their spouse and kids but be hunting for sex with other people? How can this be love? It makes me never want to get married. It's not true love...that's for sure. The guy sounds like a real creep. And to expose his unborn children to STD's is just sick. I am sure he was cheating while she was pregnant. I would want to know if my husband was a low down nasty pig. If I had a husband that is.... Link to comment
newcrossroad Posted August 1, 2008 Author Share Posted August 1, 2008 It's not true love...that's for sure. The guy sounds like a real creep. And to expose his unborn children to STD's is just sick. I am sure he was cheating while she was pregnant. I would want to know if my husband was a low down nasty pig. If I had a husband that is.... I seriously think there is something seriously wrong with the way kids are brought up. Maybe the parents are messed up and then kids turn out that way too... Maybe part of it is human nature; because human beings are selfish primitively in order to survive....I don't know... I have heard many arguments... But I think a lot of the time... boys are taught to be jerks and women are taught to be doormats. Not everyone... but I think society and family has a lot to do with this... Link to comment
TechResQ Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 If he cheats as much as you say, do you think she has an idea? When my ex-fiancee cheated on me, I had that gut feeling. Eventhough he kept denying it, I KNEW in my gut what was going on. I'll bet if she doesn't know for sure, she has some sort of gut feeling he is cheating. I feel sorry for her...her children too. How old is this loser? Link to comment
Mutley Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 this is why one should date at LEAST 2 years before making a commitment. Any tomfoolery and end it. By 6 months their true colors start showing (if not before). Link to comment
bijoux27 Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 Uh yes she should definitely know in that situation... Link to comment
newcrossroad Posted August 1, 2008 Author Share Posted August 1, 2008 If he cheats as much as you say, do you think she has an idea? When my ex-fiancee cheated on me, I had that gut feeling. Eventhough he kept denying it, I KNEW in my gut what was going on. I'll bet if she doesn't know for sure, she has some sort of gut feeling he is cheating. I feel sorry for her...her children too. How old is this loser?[/QUO He is 34 and has been with his wife since the age of 17. And married at 23. Probubly cheating from the beginning. Link to comment
TechResQ Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 what a creep... I would love to hear that he got busted. His wife and babies deserve a loving devoted husband/father, not an assclown like that. Link to comment
rosy2000 Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 I honestly think that she knows about it but it probably doesn't bother her..who knows. All i know is that as a wife you get the gut feeling as "TechResQ" said, i know because i just busted mine. I'd say tell her what you know but be cautious. Link to comment
mrmaximum Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 but anonymously, if possible. Do you have any ideas about how to tell his wife and be convincing? Sad, sad situation. This is a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. Cheats all the time and doesn't use protection? I can see when maybe kids are involved not to tell if a WS spouse isn't so prolific, however. C'MON??!! There are STDS that can kill nowadays!! Sure she may not be the best messenger, I can agree with that. But this isn't a case where the cheating is a past event it's current so this woman is playing Russian roulette even now. Link to comment
LostInFlorida Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 Since you were the "other woman" with this guy a few years ago, wouldn't it be a tad hypocritical to suddenly think that now she "needs to know"? I bet when you were still his other woman, you didn't want her knowing anything...... Link to comment
V01D Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 Since you were the "other woman" with this guy a few years ago, wouldn't it be a tad hypocritical to suddenly think that now she "needs to know"? I bet when you were still his other woman, you didn't want her knowing anything......Exactly. Just let it go, it's none of your business. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 Since you were the "other woman" with this guy a few years ago, wouldn't it be a tad hypocritical to suddenly think that now she "needs to know"? I bet when you were still his other woman, you didn't want her knowing anything...... Exactly. Just let it go, it's none of your business. I was kinda thinking the same thing actually. When you were sleeping with him, I bet you weren't too concerned about him being a nasty pig that has unprotected sex and may spread a disease. She deserves to know, but not from you. Link to comment
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