questionsquestionsquestions

[amya]

Do you question that the person who broke your heart into tiny little pieces ever loved you in the first place?

 

Some days i feel really upset and regretful about how things turned out, how i want him back so bad, wish i did things better, how if i chance now i know i could do things better but will never get the chance to. How everything he ever did wrong doesn't matter anymore coz we were meant for each other etc etc.

 

And other days, like today, am just so angry at him! How litterally weeks before he broke up with me we were on holiday together having a laugh, saying we loved each other, sipping on cocktails. Y'no, all the good stuff that comes with a relationship. To nothing.

 

I just really am starting to wonder after 2 months of break up, and 1 month complete NC whether he really did ever love me...! And if he did why isn't he here now, or so much as sending me a txt msg to ask if im ok. Infact he hasnt asked me once if im ok in the whole 2 months!!

 

I decided to go NC coz well, after the first month i tried so hard to be "friends" listening to him go on about how he was doing this that n all the rest. But then i couldnt take it anymore and caved in, begged him back. He said he wasnt ready to talk about things, and after asking him if i should move on he answered yes.

 

So here i am a month later, no contact whatsoever, really doubting his feelings were ever sincere. Does anyone else feel like that? Or is it just part of breaking up?

I mean if he were to sound really upset we were breaking up i'd probably have been able to feel better about things but hes never wanted to talk about "us" and well, had never gone out of his way to speak to me at all really.

 

Is it wrong for me to feel angry/hurt that he's moving on without wanting anything to do with me? Because part of me feels bad for feeling as though i deserve more from him but another part of me thinks well he's being a complete * * * * !

 

???????????????????????????????](*,)

[StretchGee]

So here i am a month later, no contact whatsoever, really doubting his feelings were ever sincere. Does anyone else feel like that? Or is it just part of breaking up?

I mean if he were to sound really upset we were breaking up i'd probably have been able to feel better about things but hes never wanted to talk about "us" and well, had never gone out of his way to speak to me at all really.

 

Is it wrong for me to feel angry/hurt that he's moving on without wanting anything to do with me? Because part of me feels bad for feeling as though i deserve more from him but another part of me thinks well he's being a complete * * * * !

 

???????????????????????????????](*,)

 

It is not wrong for you to feel angry and hurt. Best of luck with your N/C...with persistence these feelings will fade. Based on your post it sounds like he was just not that into you to begin with so all is for the best - regardless of the pain.

[amya]

Not that into me, that's possible, but we were together for 2 years and did everything together.

In all honesty i wouldn't say it was because of that, or maybe i'm just hoping that's not the reason, but even as low as i'm feeling about everything now i don't think he broke up with me because he wasnt that into me to begin with, because he was the one that wanted me in the first place.

 

I shall continue NC tho because i only really want to talk to him if he wants to talk to me.

[Steve 7745]

You know what I think.

 

I think people undergo this down phase, right? Like in a relationship, they feel a little uneasy. When I was dating M, I kept feeling like I should break up sometimes, but then other times I felt great.

 

Truth was we DID break up for one day- my reason was that after she graduates, I worried she would be leaving for California, although she swore up and down it was her choice. We broke up anyway, then I called her and said I was sorry and reconciled. I chose to believe her and trust her.

 

We kept dating with absolutely no problems until her mother found out she was dating me. Then M learned she HAD to go home. I was very upset and felt like I had been lied too. I still feel angry about that.

 

Anyway, I got on a tangent there. Back to the point, yes. I do believe they honestly loved you. Sometimes however, this honestly freaks the HELL out of people. Anyone who has been hurt before remembers what it felt like and the thought of letting someone do it again can scare them silly.

 

It's pretty dangerous in a way. People can be walking around with tremendous amounts of baggage and never realize it. Our society kind of forces us to bottle up our feelings. For the sake of our professions and our friends, although thankfully our families are usually there for us.

 

Women have it a little easier then men do since they're usually encouraged to share their feelings. Men, well. Our friends usually don't get what we're going through either because they've never felt it or have bottled it up until they forgot about it. And a lot of women out there taunt men for feeling that way. It's not hard to imagine a woman laughing in a guy's face and telling him to "Be a man, you loser!"

 

And you know what hurts more? Even if an ex girlfriend doesn't want to be mean to a former boyfriend, her friends don't care about him. A lot of them will say all kinds of crap and snarky jokes just because they want their friend to feel better.

 

Anyway, back on track. Yes, they probably loved you. And it scared them away. There's honestly nothing you can do about it. Just stick to NC and protect yourself.

[amya]

I had kinda thought maybe it was just because he was a guy, guy's don't get as emotional as women, and if they do well they just don't show it etc.

 

But then i think, well, you're a male and you're being able to talk about your feelings.

He would never talk to me or anyone about his feelings, let alone come on a website and talk to strangers, oh no, he's more interested in "going out and getting messy with the boooyyyys".

 

Just really don't understand his complete ignorance towards me.

I'm always wanting answers and i know i wil probably never get any but atleast im sort of getting on with things because you're right there's nothing i can do.

[Steve 7745]

Lady, let me tell you straight up that I've seen women transform before my eyes into cruel, selfish and emotionless beings when they break up with you. Maybe they ARE hurting. Maybe when you aren't looking, they cry uncontrollable because of what they have to do. Maybe they scratch themselves and throw themselves at terrible men to get over how they felt.

 

But I will never, ever see this. They will never let me.

 

And let me tell you. Guys do feel emotions, but most of us don't share them. With anyone. If we cry, we do it alone and away from friends. If we're angry, we try to explode where no one can see us lose our cool. We might wash the feelings down with alcohol and hang out with friends or chase after chicks to get some highs to ignore what we're feeling right then and there, but sooner or later, it catches up to us.

 

As for me, I might *sound* emotional, but that's because I rather enjoy being anonymous. So I don't lose face if someone calls me on it. Who I am here and who I am offline are different.

[kuhl282000]

Sometimes in the end ........you have to accept that maybe they really did not love you. That hard really hard to accept .....I know it is for me.

 

I loved mine more then life itself .....and today I wonder if she really ever loved me.

 

It hurts .......really bad....

 

Good Luck in healing

 

May we both find peace again someday soon

 

Kuhl ....I miss mine everyday

[SuzieQQ]

Hi everyone, I broke up with my bf of 2 years yesterday. I still love him and always did. The situation was just not right for me. He had a lot of issues going on and I always felt like I was getting the short end of the stick. In order to get over him, I will cut all contact, because if I don't he will talk me into going back with him. So what I am trying to say, is that sometimes people love you but for whatever reason need to get out of the relationship. Its killing me to be away from him, but i know that I am unhappy with the way things are, and if I stay I will take my unhappiness out on him.

[thouse]

Hi everyone, I broke up with my bf of 2 years yesterday. I still love him and always did. The situation was just not right for me. He had a lot of issues going on and I always felt like I was getting the short end of the stick. In order to get over him, I will cut all contact, because if I don't he will talk me into going back with him. So what I am trying to say, is that sometimes people love you but for whatever reason need to get out of the relationship. Its killing me to be away from him, but i know that I am unhappy with the way things are, and if I stay I will take my unhappiness out on him.

Is this the first break up in the relationship?