Advice needed - found out she is in serious relationship

[Hopeful99]

Jeez - today is so bad - found out my ex is "in love" and ina relationship...taking little weekend trips etc. Now it is not a surprise - we have been split for 8 mos. Just very depressing she is into someone else and being happy after what shedid to me. I know how she is - told me she loved me after three weeks, then told me she wanted to marry me and dumped me....I just think all of the bad was b/c of me....not that she was emotionally unhealthy.....I keep beating myself up.

 

How can I move on???

[Mutley]

As I just said in another post...

 

If they jump in quick....they will jump out quick.

 

and the the heck with her. Treat yourself to a good life. Someone else will come along.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

The way to move on is to really recognize that you have to accept reality, the way things are now, and recognize that life changes and people do move on. You need to start thinking about YOU and make a conscious effort to stop thinking about her.

 

Don't indulge in any more fantasies about getting back together, and start allowing yourself a short period each day (maybe 10 minutes morning and night) to think about her, but if she comes to your thoughts at other times, tell yourself STOP, i'll think about that later. Then cut the 10 minutes to 5, eventually til you don't allow yourself to obsess and dwell on her.

 

When your hopes don't match reality, you need to recognize obsession, and break the pattern. It isn't healthy for you, and you need to shift the focus from thinking about her to thinking about you and how to make your life better. Make plans, get out, study something new, get a new hobby. It takes discipline to get over a bad habit or obsession, and recognize that you need to be strong and quit indulging in fantasies about getting back together when all signs point to the fact you won't at this point in time.

[NewPhillyGuy]

I found out the other day that my ex fiancee is pregnant lol. She got engaged to two other guys after me along the way.

 

Eventually, you will get to the point where you just laugh and say WHEW - glad I avoided that train wreck. Know this girl (my ex), I would not be surprised if she didn't even know who the father is. Her thing is just meeting random guys on myspace. Being engaged to me never stopped her either.

[Kahdeksan]

I found out the other day that my ex fiancee is pregnant lol. She got engaged to two other guys after me along the way.

 

Eventually, you will get to the point where you just laugh and say WHEW - glad I avoided that train wreck. Know this girl (my ex), I would not be surprised if she didn't even know who the father is. Her thing is just meeting random guys on myspace. Being engaged to me never stopped her either.

 

NewPhilliGuy, my ex used to do that, just meet up with guys, and sleep with them, she WOULD go the extra effort just to sleep with them. I found it sickening, but this was before I met her, I knew nothing of it. Had I known, I'd not even talk to her...

 

Hopeful99, BeStrongBeHappy makes a damn good point! I'm sorry to hear of your predicament... I hope my ex isn't going to surprise me by hooking up with some louse...