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Confused about friend


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A while ago I was talking to a friend and during that conversation I asked her if it was okay if I could come visit her for a day or two sometime during the coming two weeks. I hadn't been feeling so well and kind of needed her support a bit. She said no problem, but she had to work as she wasn't able to take time off work right now. Although she said she would try and go to work later in the morning and leave earlier, so we would be able to spend more time together. I was okay with this and we decided we would talk again the following day. The next day I receive a text from her saying she wasn't able to meet up after all as she had to leave for another city today to do some projects for work, and she would be away for two weeks and wasn't able to go back to her home town at all during that time. She said she was very sad that we couldn't meet. I was really disappointed and a bit surprised as she hadn't mention anything about this when we spoke earlier but I wished her luck with the projects.


Today, when I texted her asking her how she was doing she wrote back saying she had gone back to her home town over the weekend, which she just a few days earlier had told me she wasn't able to do. I don't know what to make out of all this. Is she trying to tell me she isn't interested in seeing me anymore? She is always nice when she texts me, she writes me long emails, says she hope we can meet up soon, calls me her friend etc, so it doesn't make sense that she is trying to cut me off either. It makes me sad, as I consider us good friends. Should I just tell her honestly how I feel and see how she responds? Or what do you make out of this?

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Her actions do seem strange. She does seem to be avoiding you. She might be avoiding you on purpose, or she really is busy and her schedule really did change unsuspectingly and its out of her hands, or she is gong through some other problems in her life and is acting like this, who knows. Its hard to know for sure what is going on with her without talking to her.


Why don't you just call her up and casually bring up the topic and say something like "hey i thought you said you weren't gonna be in town, i was looking forward to hanging out with you." Don't make it like its a big deal or anything, just casual and see what she says. If her answers still doesn't satisfy you, you could tell her directly how you feel that it seems like she is ignoring or avoiding you.

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thats a tough spot. it could be all her....when i'm overwhelmed and someone needs me (you said you needed some support) i don't have it to give. i tend to avoid friends that need me when i need to heal myself. i'm just no good at that point, and i don't want to disappoint...

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I haven't really gotten that impression in the past.


I tried asking her if everything was okay, with our friendship or otherwise, and she said everything was okay, she was just busy right now, and then she changed the subject.


I can't put my finger on it, but I'm still not convinved it's entirely down to her being busy. Maybe it was the way she said it, how she changed the subject so quickly, in combination with the things written above. I don't know.


She's been so distant lately and during the few times we do speak to each other I find myself missing her. It feels like I'm losing a friend. :sad:

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I would give her sometime off and just not pressurize her too much about the whole friendship thing. You are sounding very worked up about nothing . She sounds like she wants to lighten things up a bit .


She looks like as if she has many other things going on in her life. I would not look at her as best friend material ..but keep her as a friend for the time being. Take some time off ...my 2 cents.

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