Stinkweed Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 Earlier today I was feeling down. I had no plans for the day and was thinking to myself too much... And I was sorta thinking about everything that makes me unhappy... I kinda think I could've done better this semester and last. And that I could've socialized more. I, unfortunately, think I kind developed a small crush on this one girl. Sucks cause it hadn't happened in a while. Anyway, so I looked around for something to do, and went out and had fun and stopped thinking about all that stuff. But I want next semester to be different. I kinda wish I cared less about people MIGHT think, and just speak my mind, and if they don't like it, I don't care, really. People won't do it. But I've found a couple of people that I've talked to and thought were just upstuck jerks before really talking to them, but they turned out to be ok... so I just wonder how many cool people I've overlooked since I entered college just cause I thought they were thinking something that they truly weren't. I dunno. I kinda wish I knew how to not care... Cause I'm thinkin maybe most of the time it's just be being paranoid, because not all these people can be that nasty... Or maybe they're in a nasty mood (plenty or reasons to be... If I didn't try to be more upbeat and didn't have out of school unrelated hobbies, I'd be extremely unhappy) and just talking to someone brightened their day, and it could very well happen to more people than I've tried... Just a thought. I want to stop caring because in 2 years (or maybe less) I will not see these people anymore. I want to stop caring because I've only got 2 years left in college and I want to make the most of them, and think I could meet more people that way. I see barriers, but even if they're there, I think if I didn't care, I could just overcome them. Shouldn't care about whether the barriers are truly there, or if the people wanted them there. If they did want them there, their loss, screw them. Otherwise, it's a win that I wouldn't have had if I had followed my gut feeling... I dunno. Anybody ever overcame this stupid paranoia? I'd like to know what to do about it... Link to comment
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