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Can't let his past go!

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I just graduated with my degree in psychology and yet I can not come up with a solution to my own problem.

I started dating this guy when I was in the 10th grade, we dated for 4 years and 4 months. We lost our virginity to one another. We were the ideal couple, both faithful. We broke up last summer(of 07) ultimately because of issues with his mother. While were separated we went our own ways. He was taking summer classes in a town about 3 hours away and I was in our hometown. I started partying, which is something I had never done before! I didn't get serious with anyone and didn't have sex with anyone. I guess my out was drinking.

He on the other hand jumped into a 'relationship,' they didn't date, but they did have sex. He knew the girl about 3 weeks, had sex with her 5 times, and then it was over. I think what happened is she wanted to date him and he told her no because she wasn't his type.

Both of us were not ourselves at all. So, in October we started talking again, and in March we started dating again.

My problem: I can't get that girl out of my head. I know he doesn't love her, I know that he wants to be with me, but she will not go away. We will be having sex and all of a sudden this girl pops into my head....Why can't I forget about her? What can I do to make her go away?

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i think it will have to be something you will never forget, but you must forgive.

If you love him this should not be an issue.


I think it's something you could likely forget and it's not in your place to have to forgive it as you both had agreed to be apart during that time.


This other girl was likely a passing though to him, and maybe a slight rebound or subtle attempt at moving on in a way. I doubt he's thinking about her at all at this point and I think you both should be happy that you can come back together and continue your relationship.


Just be glad that he's not trying to maintain a friendship with her or anything like that. I'm sure that would make you feel uncomfortable. If you are having these invasive thoughts after awhile longer then you might bring that up to him and have him set your mind at ease.

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