Up and down like a Yo-Yo

[so-so-sad]

Hi - Am trying to get by after a painful break-up two weeks ago, from a 2 year relationship. I miss him dreadfully.

 

I am very alone. I chose to spend all my time with him so have drifted away from family and friends. I cant remember how I came accross this site, but it has been keeping me sane! It is so comforting to read the kind words of support that you guys offer each other.

 

My relationship had difficulties and I am sure my ex is relieved that he is out of it now. He is a lovely guy and deserves better. I have written him two letters pleading with him to come back and had one telephone conversation that kinda ended in a lot of 'well you did this' and 'you brought it on yourself'.

 

From using this site I can see that NC is the way forward but it is hard to be strong. He texted me today saying he wanted to be my friend. Sadly I rang him back immediately but it went to voicemail.

 

I am still confused so will use this site to get strength to try to keep NC.

 

But I would like to be able to tell him that I am trully sorry for the bad times I put him through.

 

Thanks to everyone for contributing to this forum. It really helps.

[SapphireNoir10]

Your only human, sure you did things wrong, but you also did things right. He must have done things wrong too.

 

Move on, learn from your mistakes but dont beat yourself up over them. Im sure you werent that terrible.

 

Anyone that says 'You brought this on yourself' Isnt very nice and he obviously doesnt accept he must have contributed to the break up. It does take two you know.

 

So go NC ,dont be his friend that'll be too hard. I know exactly how you feel, broke up with my fiance of a year and a half last week. It hurts, but I'll survive cos I WANT to get over him and find someone who loves me.

[so-so-sad]

thanks. your reply makes good sense.

 

I am working hard to accept it is over and deep down I know it is for the best.

Missing someone who you shared such a lot with is so very hard tho!!!

 

Reading posts on this forum makes me realise that it IS possible to move on.

I wish you all the best BlueAfterglow xx

[SapphireNoir10]

I wish you the best too

 

We'll be fine, sometimes its not meant to be. But its probably for the best we worked this our sooner rather than later.

 

We deserve guys who love us for us. At least we will have learnt from our mistakes

[Caterina]

jeez, you're majorly dealing with low self esteem issues. I suggest a therapist. But, also make sure you're putting your face out there the best you can. Sometimes its hard and sometimes you fail, but its better than not trying.

[so-so-sad]

dont you think suggesting a therapist is a little extreme ???

I have only been split up from the one I love for two weeks. Isn't it natural to feel up and down and all over the place? I am only human.

[gemini6686]

yeah its totally ok to feel upset about it and feel like your life is over...its been three months since my breakup but i still dont feel like i am totally over it.Take your time but try to make yourself busy so that you dont think too much about it as soon as possible.Its the best thing you can do right now.And all of us make mistakes at one point or another.Dont regret your mistakes but learn from them.And keep on posting here whenever you are upset.Also its important that you go NC as soon as possible and stick by it.Its gonna be really difficult but stick by it for yourself allright...

[Caterina]

dont you think suggesting a therapist is a little extreme ???

I have only been split up from the one I love for two weeks. Isn't it natural to feel up and down and all over the place? I am only human.

 

 

Two weeks is VERY early. ANd yes its natural. I said that b/c of your comment about him being relieved that he's out of it. I went through this and ITS HELL for a while until it gets better. You will always want to go back even when you get better until you meet someone else (i'd say now is too early for anything serious with the opposite sex) or learn to love yourself.

[so-so-sad]

yeah its totally ok to feel upset about it and feel like your life is over...its been three months since my breakup but i still dont feel like i am totally over it.Take your time but try to make yourself busy so that you dont think too much about it as soon as possible.Its the best thing you can do right now.And all of us make mistakes at one point or another.Dont regret your mistakes but learn from them.And keep on posting here whenever you are upset.Also its important that you go NC as soon as possible and stick by it.Its gonna be really difficult but stick by it for yourself allright...

 

Thanks - bin texting today, just cos he was being friendly. But its making me feel worse. I know I got to stop.

[kuhl282000]

You're a nice kind compassionate person I can tell from your posts

 

 

Hang in there ....

[gemini6686]

You can always be his friend once you are over him...but right now you need to concentrate on yourself for the time being.Its practically impossible to get over someone if you stay in touch with that person because the hope that you have in your heart about the person returning back to you always stays in you,though the reality might be completely different from the truth.For all you know the only reason hes your friend is because he wants to make himself feel less guilty about his mistakes and his actions.GO NC!!!!!

[gemini6686]

You can always be his friend once you are over him...but right now you need to concentrate on yourself for the time being.Its practically impossible to get over someone if you stay in touch with that person because the hope that you have in your heart about the person returning back to you always stays in you,though the reality might be completely different from the truth.For all you know the only reason hes your friend is because he wants to make himself feel less guilty about his mistakes and his actions.GO NC!!!!!