Meph Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 I suppose I should take comfort in the fact that I'm not all alone, but I sure do feel alone. My problems probably sound a lot like all of your's. And my feelings towards my ex are probably similar to all of your's. I'm sure each of us feels like our love is unique....and in most ways, it is. I recently really ended a relationship that was everything to me. We separated in March, but we've finally ended our lives together recently. And it drove me over the edge. I'm supposed to accept this finality somehow. But I don't know how. It's not what I want. Not at all. I've never really wanted anything good in my life. But this is what I want. I didn't want to be rich, or popular or loved by everyone....I just want to be happy again with her: my "TK". Of course, she's not *my* anything now, but once she was. We faced a lot of hardships together over nearly 5 years. We were inseperable. And now that we made it through all the * * * * that life could throw at us and are successful in our careers and have time and money, all we have is space between us. Maybe her definition of success meant something else? I don't know. I know I'm supposed to be letting her go, and I'm trying. But it's not what I want. I feel cheated by life. I finally found the one, the person that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with....and she's gone. You know the end of the story: she loves me but she's no longer in love with me. We went through too many things together. Always there was love, but just too many individual problems. I made more than my share of mistakes that she paid for. And her mistakes, she doesn't want to forgive herself for, or at least she doesn't seem to want to let me forgive her. She just hides herself from me. But this isn't the only problem, tho in my mind it isn't a problem. I would forgive her anything because it doesn't matter. So maybe we'll be friends. But we'll never be the same. It's something to cherish....but it just isn't what I want. Not at all. How do you let go of LOVE? Isn't it supposed to be something that we fight for to the death? Wasn't that the lesson of the Trojan War? Or at least when are we supposed to stop fighting and stop loving?? When your true love says stop? But I don't want to! I want to kick and scream and fight until I win....and who will I fight? Her? Until she can bare me no more? Until we don't even have a friendship left? This is maddening....this is hell. Why did I even have to love her in the first place? And when I did, why didn't I have the sense to smarten up and let myself love her the way she wanted me to in the beginning? Why is it the best loves are the ones you don't take seriously until it is almost too late? Why is hindsight 20/20? Why can't the answers come before the end? How do I let go? How do I endure the pain and hollow feeling in my chest? How do I stop my heart from feeling love? Link to comment
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