goryroad Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 I had a girlfriend who was really nice to me, gorgeous, independent, smart (college grad), never asked me for material things, cooked for me, took care of me when i was sick, there for me when i needed her, faithful-- and i never made time for her. i blew her off and never thought about all the little things she did for me. she left me last week cuz it hurt her that i wasn't there for her and i let her go... do you guys think i made a mistake? sometimes i think she was a dime, and it's hard to find girls like her... Link to comment
Zampotne Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Even if she was a good girl, you obviously weren't in love with her. Sometimes even the greatest people just aren't right for you. If you had wanted to spend time with her, you would have. You shouldn't spend time with someone just because you feel like you SHOULD. I've had plenty of boyfriends where it was so tough to break up with them because there really wasn't anything wrong with them, but it just wasn't there for me. You know, IT. You'll know it when you have it. But for now let her go so she can find someone to love as well. Link to comment
DN Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 The answer to your question seems so obvious that I am wondering why you are asking it. Link to comment
goryroad Posted July 31, 2008 Author Share Posted July 31, 2008 I was so busy with my work, I just didn't think she would leave me... i really like her, and it would kill me to see her with someone else, but I have been doing NC since the breakup. I am just afraid that i'll lose her forever though. I just wish she would wait for me to get my work in order. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Its the whole 'You dont know what you got till its gone' Sort of thing, you didnt realise WHAT you had until it was gone, She shouldnt HAVE to wait for you should she? No matter how much she loves you, if the relationship wasnt making her happy and fulfilling her she had to go for her own peace of mind and happiness. Link to comment
jess-877 Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 'You dont know what you got till its gone' I agree! Unfortunately, I don't think it's uncommon for people to take each other for granted at some point in a relationship. The best thing you can do now is to find way to show her you appreciate her, send her flowers, cook her dinner, give her compliments, and let her know that you will make a conscious effort to appreciate her and what she does for you everyday. If she does take you back, remember, it's the little things that count! Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Any way you can compromise with her and work things out? Have you expressed that you want to work things out? Does she know that? Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 She might be a great woman, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's the right woman for you. Do you see yourself with her in the long run? Are you in love with her? Link to comment
goryroad Posted July 31, 2008 Author Share Posted July 31, 2008 Well, we argued a couple of times about the spending time thing before, and i always told her it will get better, but i never made any attempts to make it better. i started blowing her off more, dodging her calls, etc. until she finally initiated the breakup. i was so focused on working that it didn't hit me until now when i realize how good she was to me and what i lost. I don't know why I treated her so badly; maybe i didn't want to get too close, but I didn't think she would leave me either. We haven't been dating that long so I don't love her yet, but i could definitely see myself loving her in the future. I'm scared she will find someone else and forget all about me. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Then try to reconcile. Admit it's your fault for not taking time for her. A relationship is give and take. You have to give her what she needs also. And then you actually have to MAKE time for her, as you said. I hope she gives you another chance and you don't mess it up. Link to comment
IMAbadman Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 I had a girlfriend who was really nice to me, gorgeous, independent, smart (college grad), never asked me for material things, cooked for me, took care of me when i was sick, there for me when i needed her, faithful-- and i never made time for her. i blew her off and never thought about all the little things she did for me. she left me last week cuz it hurt her that i wasn't there for her and i let her go... do you guys think i made a mistake? sometimes i think she was a dime, and it's hard to find girls like her... As the saying goes... You never know what you had until it's gone. Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Why is work more important to you than your life? You should work to live, not live to work. Was she the most important thing in your life? Did you treat her that way? You must live in the moment and treat people like you want to be treated. If there is no time for a relationship in your life right now why did you get involved with her? You need to decide what you want first or you will be destined to repeat this with someone else. To answer your question: You didn't let a good thing go, you drove her away. lost Link to comment
jammer180 Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 This sounds like my story, except im the girl. I did so much for my boyfriend and gave him all the space in the world, and he pushed me away and always wanted to spend time with his friends and really only saw me mostly when it was convenient for him. I initiated a talk about it, which inititated him telling me that he couldn't be in it 100 percent because he didn't feel he was in love with me and didn't know if he could be so he wasn't sure that we should waste our time. I should've just dumped him then.. maybe he'd realize like you are that he let a good thing go... instead when he asked for some time to think I gave him a week. Then he asked for more becuase he still couldn't figure out what he wanted, and I said I couldn't wait, but we talked all night and it ended up I said I could wait a week or two but then I'd have to move on becuase he just wanted a chance to see if he'd miss me. He basically said he'd call me if he thought he missed me and made a mistake. I should've just broken it off and told him that it was becuase he was taking me for granted.. maybe then he'd realize like you are. I think you should try to get her back. Admit your fault and make the changes you need to make. You weren't in love yet and maybe that's why you weren't making any effort, maybe you just weren't feeling it at the time. Now you realize how great she was to you and for you, I think you should try to reconcile for sure!!! Link to comment
enigma07 Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 Do you think for a second that she also has a life, work and everything else. But when you commit to a relationship, not even that, when you involve somebody in your life, you should make the time. It is a kind of respect and consideration. She did it for you despite all other things I'm sure she had to do. Why do you even get involved or involve someone else to end up hurting them, when you have so many other priorities that make you put the other person last? Link to comment
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