Somethings that bugs the heck out of me.

[Rokuman]

I see a lot of people have problems getting "lead on" by people who may or may not be flirting with them, and become confused so come to get their questions answered. A lot of the time (or a very significant amount of the time from what I have seen) they get talked down on like they are some are some kind of idiot. And on top of that people make them feel like the person they had they conflict with was the victim.

 

Honestly, if they are early in the process of trying to establish relationships how are they suppose to know certain things? How are they suppose to know that not everyone flirts for the appropriate reason? Personally, when I flirt or tease someone, it's because I'm interested in them on some level, why would I have fun with someone I don't want to be around? If someone attracts someone to them for flirting and they have no interest in them, there is NO ONE to blame but the flirter. You have to start somewhere and flirting is usually where it starts and most normal people are going to follow through accordingly.

 

Sometimes I think people take more damage from trying to get help. I like to get ideas for dates or hang outs from other people, but I would NOT recommend asking how to attract someone or "get dates".

 

People look for help and are bombarded with all of these "rules". "Don't say this, don't say that, don't look like this, don't do that." It's no wonder people sometimes have trouble trying to approach others, cause they are under all of this pressure, these "magical rules of unofficalness" on what they should and shouldn't do.

 

The reality is, there ARE NO RULES IN LIFE. People should do (and will do) what they darn well please. Someone gives another person their number instead of asking for a number? They can, and who cares? They shouldn't be judged for it, doesn't mean they're doing anything wrong, they are doing things differently and different ways work and I can attest to this .

 

In the end it's just being in the right place and the right time, realizing this, and working with it they best way YOU can as the person you are.

[DropToZero]

True, the best way to do things, are the way YOU would do things, that's the best way to learn...and the reason I stopped asking questions a long time ago and started teaching things to myself thru trial and error. You'll learn much more about yourself and others in the process...dating...life...etc...

 

I wouldn't so much as call them "rules"...they're more like "suggestions"...and it's because experienced daters are trying to help the ones who haven't dated so much.

 

Granted like I said, they're better off learning on their own...but for most of us, handing your number to someone without hardly talking, offering a number up, unless you're stunningly attractive(as a guy), you've probably got a 1 in 10 chance of getting her to call you... not saying you shouldn't take the chance, because as said...you never know how it could turn out.

 

The reason we have these "suggestions"...is because somehow people never understand the most perfect, and the most general statement ever made by anyone and everyone when it comes to dating... JUST BE YOURSELF

 

...People take this phrase too literally, try to pick it apart, ask more questions, claim being themselves doesn't work, or just claim don't know what to do next after being themselves. When in fact...being yourself, means learning for yourself, learning about yourself, knowing in fact who you are and what does and doesn't work. Because I mean really...first time you try and get a number, and it fails, obviously what you did didn't work that time eh?...time to try something new, people who don't learn try the same sob story over and over not taking the lesson and running...

 

If you've tried being really nice to a girl, got shot down...ooh woops, shouldn't do that anymore. If you've tried being really mean, ah..shot down again? not that...find a middle ground? maybe that'll work...be a little joking at/with her and have fun? There we go...

You got the number, so awesome...now what, call her? ...Crap I have no idea what to say. So you write a few things down in case you blank out talking to her, you finally get the guts, dial the number, ah nooo...it's becoming awkward and silent, I'm thinking too hard about what to talk about next...few mins later goes the "I have to go...click" and down you chances of ever reaching her again. Learn from it?...hopefully...

 

Not trying to get way off topic...just saying...people learn...learn learn learn learn learn, never stop asking questions, but don't just SIT there and ask questions, DO SOMETHING about the questions!