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He shows hope


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Welcome to eNotAlone.


To be perfectly frank this is a mess and both of you are responsible for creating it. You already know this it seems but what you don't know is how to get it cleared up because you are both uncertain about what you want, what the other really wants, how to know what you want and how to go about getting it.


It is simpler than it might appear. Not necessarily easy but simple.


1. Decide if you want him in a permanent relationship.


2. Tell him to decide if he wants you in a permanent relationship.


3. If either of you says no - move on and no more contact.


4. If both of you say yes, then he needs to break up with his current girlfriend, who deserves a man fully committed to her anyway and you need to stop dating other men.


5. Work out a plan about how to make a relationship work with both of you committed to each other, knowing that you love each other and knowing that you won't be distracted by other people.


Simple - but not necessarily easy.

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You two are giving each other such contradictory messages. No wonder you're confused. Date me. Don't date me. Date her. Don't date her. Love me. Love other people. See me. Don't see me.


Quit the double talk, sit down and get real with each other, for once and for all.


Unless you like the merry-go-round, that is... but it would make me verrrrrrry dizzy...

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Wow. What a mess. Okay, I'm going to boil it down to one very simple question: do you want to be in a committed relationship with him? (Note: the question is not whether you love him or not - I think that's already been established.)


I guess I'm asking this question because I don't understand what you're "toughing out". Seems to me the only thing holding you two back from being together is you. I think he very clearly wants you most of all, but he doesn't know where you stand in terms of wanting him back (for a relationship, not whether you love him or not).

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