Back to the same ole rutine

[DN]

So - by not putting up with it - what are you going to do?

 

Dump him?

[legallady1]

they could just be friends, but lets face it you will never really know and this is what being in a relationship is all about..the more you stress him out over this the more hes going to hide things..what i have learned from my own experience is to just act nonchalant about things and watch his actions, you don't need to go through his call list or anything like that because if you weren't stressing over this he probably would have informed you more about what they are talking about and what problems she has that takes an hour of a conversation, but men don't go fishing for arguments so they hide things because they don't want to fight about it. just focus on yourself and try not to be needy or clingy and im sure he will come around, and if he doesn't call the whole day then don't call at all because he knows that you would eventually and you did

[RaceTheDream]

I think it would be fine if he talked to her for an hour as long as it was a one time thing. But if it's a regular thing then there might be a problem. Emotional infidelity always starts out innocent like this, that's why when you're involved in a committed relationship you avoid putting yourself in these situations in the first place. It can get out of control before anyone knows what's happening.

 

There's a fine line between being uncomfortable with something and trying to be controlling. Telling him cease contact with her completely is controlling, but asking that he respect your feelings and limit the amount of time he talks with her is definitely reasonable. Relationships are about compromise. In return you could promise not to look in his phone anymore.

[ghost69]

haven't you been through this numerous times before? i noticed this on your other threads. sounds like because he gives you expensive gifts and such you don't want to leave and find a better guy. almost like you sacrifice your feelings for this behavior.

[Hannah13]

This is a problem because he hides it and lies. That would be my cue to just say," Fine, if you would like to do that, i hope she's better company than i am!" and just take a break or something. Right now he's getting away with it.

[DN]

Do you know what it is that he talks to this girl about? I read where his father recently died and his mother is very sick and also likely to die. Does he talk to her about stuff like that going on in his life or is it more like flirting?

 

If he is talking to her about major problems in his life - does he talk to you about them as well? If he doesn't, do you know why he doesn't?

[VtecQueen]

Do you know what it is that he talks to this girl about? I read where his father recently died and his mother is very sick and also likely to die. Does he talk to her about stuff like that going on in his life or is it more like flirting?

 

If he is talking to her about major problems in his life - does he talk to you about them as well? If he doesn't, do you know why he doesn't?

He doesn't tell me anything about them talking. he doesn't say a word. He hides the whole fact that he talks to her from me, he always has. They were suppose to be getting together but he met me and got with me. But he still continues talking to her.

 

When people talk for so long so many times a week, what more can you talk about? I'm pretty sure some flirting has been done, no doubt. but I don't know for sure, he doesn't tell me anything about them, I ask him and he says "nothing, she just talked about her boyfriend" then there's other times when he says "we had a grown conversation" (cuz he says I"m immature)

[legallady1]

he is not going to tell you anything if you keep nagging...just leave him alone and don't be clingy or anything and im sure he will come around and want to tell you and if he doesn't then just leave him alone

[britt92084]

does he talk to other people for long periods on the phone? the longest my bf will talk on the phone is to me, and thats only like 8 minutes and even then that is way too long for him haha.

 

we both are not phone people though. but I have a best friend, who is a guy, and I spend most my day just texting back and forth with him, because he is the type to get my humor of everyday ridiculous situations, and its just someone to talk to you know.

 

but if I were in your shoes, I would be worried he was talkin for this long with her on the phone. YOU should be who he talks to that long. and from what I hear here, he has alot of issues in his life. he prob feels he cant come to you if you are always naggin him. his friend is probably more understanding.

 

he shouldn't be hiding it from you though, if nothing was wrong that he was doing. I'd be a little worried.

 

you gota decide if you want to put up with this.