giggle3474 Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Boyfriend broke up with me officially 3 weeks ago. Went NC for 1 week then went away for his birthday on a very romantic trip from which I came back devestated. HAd a huge fight last week because he has been asking for time and space and I haven't been giving it to him (true). I had just thought our weekend may have envoked some feeling from him besides being a selfish * * * * * * * . Anywho - I sent him an email yesterday basically telling him I am not interested in going out this weekend. (I had asked him to take me out Last Friday , our last day of contact) I said that ironically I was feeling that I need time and space to take care of me and evaluate my life and whether or not he was right for it. The email was short and sweet and I okayed it through my therapist first. Anyhow, my plan was to take these next 2-3 weeks and concentrate on me just like I said. If we do work it out, I would like to have learned something from this break and not go back and have it be the same. I have made plans with my girlfriends and this weekend I am dressing up, going out and gonna have fun. Im really excited about that. The thing is, I had planned to then contact him (in person or on the phone) and see where things stood. I am moving on with my life but at the same time I am holding out hope that things will change with him. I want to be able to sit down with him and tell him what I want, what I need and what I am willing to offer. And at that point, I thought I would give him a couple more weeks of space to decide. (and I would tell him I have set a limit on it) His answer would eithther have to be, Im ready to come back, Im ready to talk about what we can possibly do to make this work, Im ready to go to counseling with you, or I'm done with you entirely. And then we would just go from there. **OR** I would call him up and ask him out for the following weekend. Based on how that went, I would either have the conversation with him at that point or possibly at a later date if I felt it was in my best interest. I would have to play that by ear. And Im sure that Im going to hear that I should just wait for him to contact me and want to see me. And I don't know - I still may decide to do that... It just depends how I feel in a few weeks time. But the planning ahead makes me feel a little better even though inside I know that I may possibly feel worse afterwards. I think (and let me know if you disagree) that by that time (5-6weeks) that should be enough time to have decided whether or not he wants to be in a relationship. There are certain things I would have to put on the table in order for me to want to go back as well. There are things that are negotiable and things that just aren't. But at this point, we havent even gotten that far. = ( I miss him sooo much. I keep dreaming about him, keep thinking about him with other women, I keep kicking myself at the dumb things I've done (even though I know Im not 100% responsible for the break up) My heart just feels empty and heavy at the same time. Link to comment
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