qzgwnxl Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 My ex and I broke up about 4 years ago, it was messy, lots of yelling, accusations (mostly towards me, some true, some not). About a year after breaking up she wanted to go to dinner, her, her new boyfriend, and I. I said I would bring along my new girlfriend and she said she quote "couldn't handle that" because "it's inferred that she (the new girlfriend) is better then I am". It was left at that. For the majority of rest of the time she's done nothing but threaten me, belittle me, and generally be verbally abusive. For my part I was an ass sometimes in her eyes, mostly due to not having the money to pay certain bills on time, but I never denied responsibility for them. About 2 months ago she decided she wanted to meet to "move forward" or at least "let the past be the past". I told her at the time that I had no desire to meet, that I saw no reason to, and that I frankly wanted as little to do with her as possible. She was reasonably respectful but persisted, and the possibility of meeting was left on the table. Earlier today she wanted to setup a meeting for next week, however, she refuses to meet with me and my wife, she wants to meet one-on-one. As is her style she's said I'm "socially clueless" if I don't understand "why she shouldn't be there" (my ex saying that about my wife) and that she was not planning on bringing her boyfriend. It's my feeling that if she REALLY wants to move forward, try to be friends, or at the least bury the past there's absolutely no legit reason to meet one-on-one. Also, I feel that it's normal, acceptable, and to a lot of people expected that after such a long peroid of time that significant others would be there as well. (I can't imagine meeting any of my female friends in an explictly private coffee meeting) I've told her that until she's at a point where she can deal with the present and meet my wife with me she can keep her desire to meet to herself. I don't feel uncomfortable meeting her alone, I just see no valid reason why I should. So, obviously the situation has passed, but was I wrong? Is it socially unacceptable to bring a significant other to such a meeting? (It was to be a cup of coffee or whatnot at a coffee shop) To clarify, this is not a "should I meet with her?", it's a "is it socially taboo / unacceptable to bring a current significant other to a meeting like that?" Sidenote: My wife agrees with me. She does not care to have any contact with my ex either, but feels that if my ex refuses to meet both of us there is almost certainly another motive. Link to comment
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