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He still loves me...


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Afternoon all...


I posted a while back about my soon to be 28 year old b/f breaking up with me, I just turned 20.


Well, we had a good relationship, it was deep, meaningful, sexual, loving... We had our problems of course.


He ended up breaking up with me to let me live life, to grow up. He said he couldn't help me grow up and I do understand that. There is a lot I haven't been through that he has, things I'm sure I'll learn best on my own, but here's my problem...


He still tells me he loves me, he has called me drunk saying he just wishes I was 25 and ready?... He has slipped that he hopes perhaps we get back together in a few years and are together forever. At the same time, he wants me to just life, grow, experience...date. It is so hard to do some of these things knowing he actually wants to be together because of course I do to. We talk often, still say we love each other.


I've done well with all this, actually really have grown up in the past six months of this happening. Going back to school for a degree in nutrition (currently have my Cosmetology license), moving in with some friends, 2 jobs, the works of growing up... I'm handling it all well and doing it for me, but at the same time can't deny a little for him.


I just want to live and love and be happy... I don't want to wonder or wait. I love him so much and understand I'm immature to a relationship, but he was my first true love and real relationship.


What should I do? For me and for him, perhaps for us in the future?... What choice? Hah... ](*,)

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  • 8 years later...

You are only 20 years old, take it as a learning curve and an experience in terms of your first bf and romance. You are only 20 years old, live you life, have fun go to college, have holidays and experiences with friends. you don't need to be in a relationship until you feel comfortable again, at the end of the day he is 8 years old than you i know they say age is just a number which it can be but don't live in doubt of what you want to do you will regret it. From what I can see, you have a good pair of shoulders you want to finish and complete your degree which is sensible. Forget about him for now, it is time to think about yourself, you can settle down later (from personal experience i settled down well to young and regret quite a lot). Good luck in your choices, you know you will be great

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What should I do? For me and for him, perhaps for us in the future?..
First off, ask him to stop contacting you and sharing his thoughts of being with you and missing you and wanting you. That is unfair to the 9th degree for him to do that when he's basically broken up with you so that you can have other men. Him making that decision for you as well was not his to make. If all he was breaking up with you for was to give you other opportunities with men then shame on him for taking away your choice to do that or stay with him.


Not every person needs to have more then one partner for life and you could safely do all the other things you're doing with him in your life.


Tell him that if he chooses to not be with you now then to please not contact you again until he's ready to be with you and if you're still single when he is ready then you'll go out for coffee with him and weigh your options.


I know how hard this must be for you particularly when he's vomiting his emotions on you like he is. Feel better soon and don't let him do that to you anymore.

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I'd block his number for now. If the point of your break-up was to let you live and discover life for yourself, he shouldn't be contacting you with his hopeful pipe dreams. If you were supposed to come together in the future, you'll find some way. You shouldn't be planning your life around the possibility of getting back together with an ex in a few years. He is a grown man, he will get over this.

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