The grass is always greener...

[Steven1607307306]

So here's the story:

 

I've been with my girlfriend for about two years now. The first few months went great there weren't many problems (as with most relationships in the beginning), but as time went on she would seem to get more and more agitated with the smallest things. She would start to freak out about little things, and once she snapped there was no calming her down.

 

About 8 months into our relationship I gave her an ultimatum, saying if she doesn't start showing self control, then we're done. She cried and told me she hasn't been taking her medication and that she will try to get back on it and work things out. So we tried that and she started acting cool with everyhting again for a while. Then she started changing back into the crazy chick...

 

She told me she was just stressed out because she was tired of living in VA (we were planning on moving to NM) and she would be okay once we moved. So we started saving money, she moved into my apartment and all of the sudden she got this new job which paid her a tremendous amount of money. She told me she was a financial advisor for some company. About a month and a half after that job, she finally told me she was prostituting herself in D.C. As most would imagine, I got quite angry with her and kicked her out. I loved her so much though I found it in my heart to forgive her because I knew she would never do anything like that again.

 

So months went on and drama kept coming back, but I thought she just needed to get out of the big city. So we finally moved about a month ago, and for the first 4 weeks she has been the coolest ever.

 

THEN just yesterday she was sick so we decided to take the bus to the doctor. We needed money so we went to walgreens to get some change for the bus. She tried to cut in front of some old lady in line, and I told her she needs to get in line, and her time was no more important that anybody else's. She freaked out on me making a scene and telling me to go home she could do it by herself.

 

so I waited outside walgreens and when she came out I told her that I should go with her in case they give her a shot that will make her really drowsy. She continued to tell me to leave, so I left. I went back to my house and about 10-15 minutes later she comes in the house screaming and crying and hitting me calling me names and all that crap. Now I normally wouln't get too angry this is just her old self, but what made it different was that my 9 and 12 year old brothers were witnessing this. She told me she's moving back and this and that, and I told her good then get a ticket.

 

later that night she started to cry asking why I didn't care if she left. I told her it was her idea and now that she brought it to my attention, it would probably be best.

 

After a night of sleep I now walk the fence-line. Can someone give me a push to either side?

 

 

p.s. Sorry so long...

[yankeefan74]

I think you've been incredibly forgiving in the past, you're young, and you've put up with enough. She obviously needs a lot of help, but you aren't a therapist. I suppose you could encourage to seek professional help, and try and work through it with her...but again, that would take a lot of patience, and probably a lot of pain.

[Clementine orange]

This sounds like an absolute nightmare. You know, the grass might actually be greener on the other side of the fence.

You are an extremely forgiving man.

[annie24]

wow, where to start. first off, only the first few months of your relationship were good, but you chose to stay with her for 2 years? and then she's a prostitute? and then she says that they're going to give her a shot at walgreens, despite the fact that there are no nurses at walgreens and a pharmacist can't give a shot. sheesh. lies and stories. what the heck are you thinking being with her? i don't understand sometimes, i'm a pretty sane woman, respectable job, etc... and i have troubles finding a good boyfriend. meanwhile, there are insane women, prostituting themselves. there's something really wrong here.

 

yes, you should walk away from her, you should have months ago. and i don't quite see why you think that she would have never prostituted herself again? i think you should do some serious thinking to figure out why you have stayed in this messed up situation for so long. not even to mention how abusive towards you she is!

[just M.E.]

Steven, your girlfriend needs therapy and counseling. I don't know much about the meds, but her behavior indications she has some personality dysfunction. these things stay with a person and they don't go away because you moved, or got a different apartment, etc.

 

She needs to work through this and take the initiative herself. You can ask her to do this but unless she does this for herself, she won't have the true commitment to get better.

 

This is a bad situation for you to stay in. You are young enough that it could develop into a dysfunctional pattern for both of you. You said it in your own words, her leaving might be for the best.

 

"there's still time to change the road you're on"

[Zampotne]

The fact that she decided to be a prostitute shows she has big problems.

 

Do you want to deal with them? Sounds like you don't.

 

Let a professional deal with her and get out while you're still young.

[Steven1607307306]

and then she says that they're going to give her a shot at walgreens, despite the fact that there are no nurses at walgreens and a pharmacist can't give a shot.

 

We were both at walgreens, getting change for the bus ride to go to the doctor.

[IMAbadman]

Yep... sounds like you need a change in your pasture.

 

Might I suggest the purple clover over there... a particularly good vintage with no psycho aftertaste.

[annie24]

ah, thanks for clearning that up.

 

and yes, i agree with the others, she needs professional help, and you aren't it. you don't deserve to be walked on either. and cutting in front of line in front of a little old lady is definitely a bad sign! if she's willing to do that, what else would she do? (oh yeah, prostitute herself for money!)

 

i understand that you probably want to help her out, but you don't deserve this treatment either. a relationship should not be so drama filled and you deserve someone who will be kind and gentle to you and honest and all that, not this.

[Steven1607307306]

Well it sounds like you've all given me the courage to follow through with my original decision. I just wanted to hear it from somebody else that I'm doing the right thing by leaving her.

[Kahdeksan]

Man, I feel it for you!

 

God, I thought my situation was bad...

I agree with much of the replies here, she needs professional help. Much like my ex, trouble is she's refusing it and blamed everything on me...

[StretchGee]

Steven,

Perhaps the 'grass isn't greener' always, but you are standing in mud.

 

You're 19. You're dating a prostitute who hid this from you. She is also a drama queen in the extreme.

 

Do you love her? Are you in love with the drama? If you love her, one or both of you needs help. If you are not madly in love with her then leave. Yes, at 19 the grass is greener.

 

How old is this girl?

[Steven1607307306]

Yep... sounds like you need a change in your pasture.

 

Might I suggest the purple clover over there... a particularly good vintage with no psycho aftertaste.

 

 

 

I don't understand what you mean.

[Steven1607307306]

Steven,

Perhaps the 'grass isn't greener' always, but you are standing in mud.

 

You're 19. You're dating a prostitute who hid this from you. She is also a drama queen in the extreme.

 

Do you love her? Are you in love with the drama? If you love her, one or both of you needs help. If you are not madly in love with her then leave. Yes, at 19 the grass is greener.

 

How old is this girl?

 

She is 18.

[SchecterGuy]

Kind of reminds me of my situation, but mine wasn't quite as violent. Ever since I knew my ex she would go up and down on her emotional levels. And like your gf said, my ex said if we moved from our situation she would get better. I do not know how she is doing now, but the circumstances are strikingly similar.

 

And at 19 the grass is greener. I wish I knew that.

[StretchGee]

I skimmed you prior posts. It sounds like you are stuck in a situation her and that you and she are in it together. Given that maybe it would be worth trying to help her out. While the grass may be greener it may be that as a friend you need to at least try and help her.

 

I'm thinking extreme measures. She is 18 and has had a taste of the money prostitution can bring. Unfortunately, eighteen year old prostitutes don't have long careers. Has she any serious drug addictions (yet?).

 

I am not really sure where you could find this kind of help. Churches, social services? Maybe some other ENA folks can suggest places to go. What is clear to me is that the path she walks is a very slippery slope and if she doesn't get help now it is all down hill from here.

 

Good luck to you both.

[Ellie2006]

Well it sounds like you've all given me the courage to follow through with my original decision. I just wanted to hear it from somebody else that I'm doing the right thing by leaving her.

 

I think you're making the right decision: she needs professional help and I really think her family should get involved at this point.

 

If she's taking medication, she'd hardly qualify as a "drama queen," I dont think. She is a woman in dire need of help and I think the best thing at this point is to allow her to focus on getting her illness in check.

[IMAbadman]

I don't understand what you mean.

 

 

You don't understand? Let me put it straight forward to you then.

 

Yes, dump her immediately. Not tomorrow or later today but right freak’n now.

 

Find yourself someone whom you will truly enjoy being with and who will truly enjoy being with you. This girl needs professional help (psychiatric help) which you can not provide. Bro… she’s a prostitute! Did you ever consider the consequences of your health?

 

So, when you’re standing in a dirt field it doesn’t matter in which direction you look the grass is always going be greener on the other side of the fence.

[a_lifters_life]

I feel for you, sounds like my ex ... ABSOLUTE PSYCHO !

[kuhl282000]

You're a bigger man than I ...the selling sex for money would have ended it for good.

[Steven1607307306]

The prostitution thing I forgave her because I KNEW she would never resort to that again. We both got tested after I found out and we're both clean of std's (Thank God), but it's just the lack of self-control, the immaturity, and the constant need for attention that I don't think I can live with for the rest of my life.