stayhappy Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 My ex broke up with me at the end of February after nearly 6 years of a very happy relationship. He didn't leave me for someone else, just felt young and wanted to be single, apparently nothing to do with me but obviously that's not totally true. I wasn't sorted work wise and I think I took it out on my ex a bit at the time. The pressure of that and him wanting to be single ended what was a pretty amazing relationship for both of us and I know he wouldn't disagree. It's been several months now and after going through a period of getting him out of my system and getting to a really good place where I didn't think about him on a daily basis anymore and basically had moved on. I realised there were other decent people out there for me and I felt released from the inner turmoil I had been going through. I've started seeing someone else for about a month but unfortunately a photo of my ex popped up on a social netoworking site a couple of weeks ago and since then I can't get him out of my head. I feel so lost and confused right now and I really really do appreciate what we had and after speaking to many couples realise that it was actually quite rare and am now mourning the loss all over again. I don't know what to do, I'm seeing someone at the moment that is a fantastic person, there isn't much spark between us (I am seeing where it will go) but he is amazing and before, it was all good but now I've regressed about 3 months. I don't really speak to my ex, we met up once a while ago and it was fine. We can happily contact each other but just havent really. He's been away out of the country for the last 6 weeks and I think is also away again now so I'm sure he's not really thinking about me. I am seriously considering writing my ex a letter saying how I feel but I doubt there's much point and also I'm not sure that I want to open this whole thing back open wide again. I wish I could just switch off my thoughts, i'm creating them and they're in my head so why is it so hard to stop them - human beings ay!!! Please share your thoughts with me about this. I am not feeling good and am annoyed I'm back in this position writing about this again on here and I'm seeing someone and I feel guilty I'm thinking about my ex. I wish I had gotten another chance but I didn't. Link to comment
xXPusHedAsiDeXx Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 This is natural, but you have to remember you're seeing a guy you like and it wouldn't be fair on him if you started bringing yourself down because you realised you aren't over him as much as you thought. I tend to stay away from social networking sites after a breakup, as they do generally bring back alot of memories with that person. Go out and have fun with this new guy, no point on dwelling on something that wasn't meant to be, it'll do you the world of good Link to comment
IMAbadman Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 I have to agree with xXPusHedAsiDeXx. It's natural to feel this way and it's also not fair to this new man in your life to be sending off letters or contacting your EX because of unresolved feelings. You have to make a choice. Remember, a bird in hand... Link to comment
stayhappy Posted July 30, 2008 Author Share Posted July 30, 2008 Thank you for your thoughts, it's comforting just to hear peoples comments and that people will bother to express them. I agree with what's been said, I just wasn't sure whether I should be fighting for something I believe in or not. With regards to the new guy I certainly don't want to complicate things by mucking around with my baggage. I didn't want to meet someone until I was baggage free because I don't think it's fair on him. Problem is I thought I was baggage free hence why I was happy to move on but obviously I'm not. Also this kinda throws doubt on the new guy. I expected that when I actually met someone, I wouldnt think about my ex anymore because I had moved onto someone else. They should be enough of a distraction but evidently not so I don't know whether I'm not right seeing this person or whether I just have issues I need to deal with. Life is sooooooo complicated !!! Link to comment
skids Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Take it slow with the new guy you may have regressed a bit but that is part of the healing process. Whatever you do DON'T write that letter!! You'll be much better off if you just let it be and come here and vent when you start feeling down. I wrote such a letter to my ex and the response was not what I wanted to hear. I'd hate to see you pour your heart out to this guy just to see you get crushed and have what progress you've made toward healing get thrown out the window. The new guy may or may not be Mr. Right, but unless you give him a fair shot you'll never know. Hang in there, great relationships are not rare, they're just hard to find =p Link to comment
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