confusion352 Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Okay so this is the first time I've ever gone to people I don't even know on a situation they probably don't care about. This is one matter I just can't take to my best friend. See, I'm falling so hard for him. I'm 18 and and I've had bad experiences in the past with boyfriends. I get used annd abused and so finally I hardened my heart and didn't let anyone else inside it. I have three really close friends and all of them happen to be of the male persuasion so there is a lot of things I go through that they don't understand. I became really partial to one of them though and we hit it off really well, we'll call him John for the sake of this discussion. John and I are basically attached at the hip, we do everything together and we talk non stop. Betweet texting and msn, we're never out of reach of eachother. But lately it seems like conversations have been getting deeper and more caring. There is a point where a line is crossed between friend care, and lover care. So a little while back I decided that I wasn't going to feel this way about him anymore, I loved and cherished him as a friend too much to jeopardize our relationship. I pushed the feelings away and into the soles of my feet and for a while it worked, I started flirting with this other guy fairly seriously and John got really jealous. I continued to flirt with other guys but it seemed to affect our (john and I) relationship negatively. So i stopped. So here's the point when I really realized that I was in love with John. I started to crush really heavily on this guy that I work with, he is a whole lot older than me (by 16 years) but we started flirting back and forth at work and just having harmless fun and one day I told one of my girlfriends about this 34 year old guy and she was totally grossed out, but as I told her more, her look changed and it caused me to start listening to my description of his personality and his abilities and I stopped in the middle of the sentence and said "oh my god, I'm in love with john." So I'm not exactly sure what I should do about john. I know that I love him with all my heart and want to keep him in my life forever. Do I take a chance with him and go deeper? Do I stay quiet and let him make a move? But all I know is that he feels something too. He implied it the other night in a text he sent me, but he didn't directly say it. I really need to know what to do... and I will answer anyquestions that people have about this. This is important to me. thanks confusion352 Link to comment
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