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I am getting on with my life improving myself and building my future. I am in permanent NC (I have not heard anything from him for almost 2 months - he is seeing someone else) and don’t expect to see or hear from him anytime soon.


I still have pain around the separation (we have been apart for over 18 months) and probably will be hurt for a long time to come. Yet in the back of my mind is the hope that sometime we will meet again as improved individuals and have the relationship we should have had.


Is this just some residual fantasy or can people meet again years later and rekindle a past relationship successfully. Does anyone have examples?

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Move on completely. Try not to think of him and a future with him. Chances are, you wont get back together. Ever, there might be that 0.1% chance but is it worth hindering your healing by holding that in your head?


Concentrate on making yourself a better, stronger person and fine the person it WILL work out with.


Chances are if it didnt work out the first time it isnt meant to be.

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It's good to know you're getting on with your life and indeed improving on yourself. Now stamp that on your imaginary journal and just keep on truckin'.


I'm in that process of my life too, improving myself and trying to forget her. Currently on NC for almost two weeks now... we've been apart for almost three weeks. Not sure how loopy or if at all I'll end up, heh.


I got carried away... but to answer your query; Yes people can meet again, in months or even years to come. But if you keep on holding onto that 'residual fantasy' (good term by the way, mind if I borrow it? you're not really looking forward to a POTENTIAL match for yourself! In other words, you'll be selling yourself short... and being comfortable with the fact that you're willing to settle for your ex when in fact there could be someone out there who'll sweep you off your feet!


Some people I know have come together, but very soon afterwards the same problems break out... Why this happens is, in my view at least, is that these residual fantasies that one of the ex's are holding onto take hold of them in a sub-conscious level. So when they meet their ex's again this sets off the engine, sirens and whistles blaring in their mindset where the fantasy was once dormant but incubating!


At times we even think they are going to be the same person with improved sub-conscious programming, but in fact most of the time they are different, and not as sweet as they once were...


However, some do last, but I'm not hoping that that'll happen to me... I'll take it when it comes, thank you very much.

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Is this just some residual fantasy or can people meet again years later and rekindle a past relationship successfully. Does anyone have examples?


Yes, people can meet again years later. But in most cases it just happens when both have moved on and are not expecting a reconciliation anymore.


Best thing to do for now is continue with your own life... on your own path as if you won't get back together.

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