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How do you figure?


Dani0613

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Scenario: Someone dumps you because he/she is confused about his/her feelings, but knows that they love you very much, needs to be alone and not in a relationship, etc.

 

How is it that he/she can't be friends with you because he/she needs time to heal? I guess I would just figure that if they didnt want the relationship that they would be 'ok' with being friends and that it would be up to the dumpee to determine how he/she felt, no? Unless of course, the dumper REALLY is confused about everything and needs to totally separate themselves from the dumpee..

 

thoughts?

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Welcome to my world. Sucks, doesn't it? I would say take that as a good sign that he doesn't want to be friends. It would not be good for you to be friends right now either. Could you handle seeing him with and kissing and holding hands with another woman? Could you give him real advice if he came to you with a problem about his new relationship. No- Im not saying he has one or that the break up is about someone else but you can be a true friend unless you can be 100% supportive of him in all aspects of his life. If you want him back, DO NOT let yourself get 'friendzoned'.

 

He does need to totally separate from you if he's going to evaluate the relationship. that means NC for you! Give him 2-4 weeks. At LEAST two weeks but the longer the better.

 

good luck mama!

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Scenario: Someone dumps you because he/she is confused about his/her feelings, but knows that they love you very much, needs to be alone and not in a relationship, etc.

 

How is it that he/she can't be friends with you because he/she needs time to heal? I guess I would just figure that if they didnt want the relationship that they would be 'ok' with being friends and that it would be up to the dumpee to determine how he/she felt, no? Unless of course, the dumper REALLY is confused about everything and needs to totally separate themselves from the dumpee..

 

thoughts?

 

Usually I consider that an excuse. They aren't at all confused, in my opinion. It's not that they don't want a relationship, they just don't want a relationship with *you*.

 

Take that at face value from them, and move on, and find someone else to date.

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Usually I consider that an excuse. They aren't at all confused, in my opinion. It's not that they don't want a relationship, they just don't want a relationship with *you*.

 

Take that at face value from them, and move on, and find someone else to date.

I agree with this, I think it's just a way to let you down easy what they don't realize is that this approach leaves room for questions (such as the ones you are having) and assumptions, when if they would just be honest and say that they no longer want to be in a relationship with you it would make life alot easier. Yes feelings will be hurt but atleast the dumpee is not left wondering.

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