happilytogether Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 It turns out that my girlfriend and I have been dating for a year and 5 months. She is been car pooling with a co-worker of hers (male) do to the gas prices. Well, my parents are out of town, and she is staying at my house, she's implied to him that she is house sitting, in other words no one is home at the moment. she tells me he seems a bit homophobic, thereforee she doesn't want him to know about us. I totally understand, and don't expect her to tell him, however today, it really bothered me that she asked me to wait a few minutes until she left so that he didn't know I was still there. Part of me really bugs that she can't jsut tell him she is keeping me company...I mean I live in a house, so its obviouse there are more then just one bedroom. I don't know maybe I'm just wrong? another part of me, wonders if she can be crushing on this guy and she just doesn't want me to know? I don't know what do you guys all think? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 weird. you can be there, she doesn't have to tell him her sexual orientation though. again, weird. Link to comment
happilytogether Posted July 29, 2008 Author Share Posted July 29, 2008 Ok.... I thought so, I thought maybe I was being unfair. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 Is she out at work? My first reaction was that it sounds weird given that if she really wanted to lie, she could pass you off as a friend, but if she's scared of being outed then she might be overreacting out of fear. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 Ok.... I thought so, I thought maybe I was being unfair. and this day in age, why is being woman and woman bad? especially at your age? i really doubt a guy is so homophobic he wouldn't give her a ride anymore. pffft. Link to comment
rgm1266 Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 Have you met the guy at all? Spoken to him? If not, then you might want to rethink this relationship. Why would "YOUR G/F" keep you secret from another man especially if he might be "gay". Something jsut ain't right!!! Just sit back and take notice of what happens. You might want to just show up when those 2 are together and see what her reaction might be. Link to comment
happilytogether Posted July 29, 2008 Author Share Posted July 29, 2008 That's what I say, I don't understand...see it doesn't bother me one bit that she doesn't want to tell him, just because we have really kept it on the down low...however, it really bothers me that she can't just say shes keeping me company...play it off as friends. its not like we kiss infront of the guy or anything. Link to comment
happilytogether Posted July 29, 2008 Author Share Posted July 29, 2008 theres no where in hell he's gay, he actually is married and has two kids. I've never met the guy, he's seen me, and I have seen him. but we've never talked or anything. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 i think something is up with your girl. she's embarrassed or wants something from him. just a hunch. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 That just seems like an odd situation. The only reason I would ever try to hide a SO from a co-worker was if I was interested in or dating said co-worker. Link to comment
happilytogether Posted July 29, 2008 Author Share Posted July 29, 2008 that's what I think.... I just don't understand why she can't just say " oh yeah I am keeping her company" or something to that effect. I would like to talk to her about it this evening....I just don't know how all to start or to tell her. she knows Im upset, she asked me not to be mad when she left, and I told her "it's just stupid" and she walked out, she texted me on her way to work, said "please don't be mad, I love you" Link to comment
ghost69 Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 i wouldn't ask her to say i'm just company. i'd ask her why she isn't proud to be my gf. Link to comment
happilytogether Posted July 29, 2008 Author Share Posted July 29, 2008 true...I think I will say that, tonight when she gets home I weill tell her why she can't just say that she is keeping me company and whats the big deal... Link to comment
ghost69 Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 i know when i'm serious with a girl i really want to be with, i try and show her off. like 'yep, that's my girl.' Link to comment
happilytogether Posted July 29, 2008 Author Share Posted July 29, 2008 well it's different when your both females or both males.... but I'm not asking her to show me off...Just simply not to hide me. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 well it's different when your both females or both males.... but I'm not asking her to show me off...Just simply not to hide me. why is it different? you aren't proud? Link to comment
metrogirl Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 There is no logical reason for her to hide anything unless something is screwy... A thought just came into my mind. Forgive me if this sounds callous..... Do you think she is ashamed to admit that she is gay to other people? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 the only other thing i can see is she doesn't want this guy knowing so it doesn't get around the office. Link to comment
happilytogether Posted July 29, 2008 Author Share Posted July 29, 2008 totally proud of it, however I don't want a whole lot of people to know. thats why i am saying she doesn't need to tell him we are an item...just simply say that shes keeping me company. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 totally proud of it, however I don't want a whole lot of people to know. thats why i am saying she doesn't need to tell him we are an item...just simply say that shes keeping me company. Do you think she might be going ott on this to prove a point to you. why is it different? you aren't proud? It's different because homophobic people can get scary and/or dangerous. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 totally proud of it, however I don't want a whole lot of people to know. thats why i am saying she doesn't need to tell him we are an item...just simply say that shes keeping me company. can I ask why you don't want people to know? Link to comment
happilytogether Posted July 29, 2008 Author Share Posted July 29, 2008 ott? please explain Link to comment
happilytogether Posted July 29, 2008 Author Share Posted July 29, 2008 I want people to know, like all my close friends know, but i can't allow it to get to my family, or her family either, it would be a big problem if this happened. I still live with my parents, and can't afford to move out at the moment... Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 ott? please explain Over The Top. As in, you've asked to keep it quiet, she's not happy with this and it going over the top to prove a point to you. Link to comment
happilytogether Posted July 29, 2008 Author Share Posted July 29, 2008 not so much, we both had agreed to keep it on the downlow. I just asked her she said .... "I could say to him that we are not dating, but his questions won’t stop there….he will ask enough to see through it….trust me. He is super duper curious!" Link to comment
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