coolbloke1978 Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 Hiya peeps, I've posted this story before and got some invaluable pointers but for the newbies here it goes again: I had a 2 month fling/affair/ whatever you want to call it with a guy with a boyfriend. (I'm gay). We met on holiday and it just happened he called and text me everyday and was very supportive during some difficult times. It was getting out of hand so I gave him an ultimatum to pick between me or his boyfriend of 2 years. So anyway he couldnt make his mind up and had apparently suffered epileptic seizures caused by stress and was in hospital too. He said he just couldnt deal with making a decision at this point in time with everything going on but yet he didnt want to lose me and when I asked if I should move on he said "oh please dont get all strange on me I cant handle it". Then we spoke againa couple of nights later and he was jolly and chatty. So I said how should we play this. He said I think we should be friends. So I went along with it saying how I missed talking to him and that. Then I said okay we can be but I talk about dating with my friends - can he handle that? He said no. I cannot. So then he said can you handle me talking about my bf? And I said well to be frank you already do so not much would change! And then he says oh I'm down with him next week do you want to meet up he wont know! And I'm like what are you talking about! Me and you in the same room with your boyfriend there?! Sure because THAT wont be awkward! Anyway I said yes to the friends thing. But then I woke up thinking. Hang on. He got away lightly. So I sent him a long text and this is what I said: Hey. Been thinking bout what we said last night about being friends. To be honest as much as you can kid yourself into being "friends" and pretend as though nothing happened, I cant and I refuse to get sucked further into something I can essentially walk away from. Dunno who I was kidding last night. We can never be friends. It's gone too far down the line for that. I'd lose my self respect and become your dirty little secret - everything I said I wouldn't become. When I gave you the deadline it was all or nothing. You made your choice and that's okay. Now I'm making mine and cutting my losses while I still can. Get well soon and all the best. He responded with: Well I suppose it is your decision and I can't say I blame you. Just so you know the few days we had together were very special to me and I will always be here for you. Take care xxx This was 2 months ago. I have not responded or initiated anything, went complete NC, deleted him from my Facebook account everything. I've got on with my life and feeling incredibly positive and upbeat. I came back from Rome last week (where he was a month ago with his boyfriend) for my 30th birthday and suddenly I've come back to an e-mail from him in my inbox this morning: ......um hello, oh god im never good at these things......maybe i will start by saying happy birthday, here goes..... Hey, Happy Birthday! how was Rome? I know you said you never wanted to speak 2 me again but i thought id give you an email just to wish you happy birthday and let you know that im sorry for all that went on. I hope you enjoyed Rome, i thought it was amazing!! loved it so much much more than Paris. anyways i think ive kinda run out of awkward things to say to you now so i will just leave the ball in you court so to speak or not as the case may be. anyways i hope your good. xxx I do not see what the purpose of this email is? He hasnt said anything about being friends or being in a relationship. We both got closure. So what's the deal here and how do I respond? And why has he opened the can of worms again? Thanks peeps! Link to comment
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