IMAbadman Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 OK so the EX and I broke up about 3 months back. Two weeks after the break-up I took hers and her kid’s things, well most of them, to her apartment. She wasn’t home so I left a quick note basically stating that I thought I should return these items. Here’s the full story if you’re interested: Flash forward to present. We met 3 weeks ago to talk at a local park, I was feeling her out with where she was at emotionally. Yeah, hoping there would be a chance for reconciliation. Let’s just say that won’t be happening anytime soon. Although I could tell she was emotional and she said she thinks of me constantly she also stated that there is nothing I could say or do to change her mind. Anyway I tell her she knows how I feel and that I will continue to respect her decision and will not contact here again. I had only contacted her once in the 3 months and that was for the park meeting. I also mentioned that I had found more of her things around my house; pants, panties, socks, her tread mill, other odds and ends. She says she’ll call me and pick them up. I'm thinking she'll be around within a week. Now it's going on 3 weeks... the tread mill has been at my home for over 3 years!?! You'd think she'd want her stuff and bail out right? So here’s the deal… why does an EX leave their stuff at your place especially if they want nothing else to do with you? I mean come and get it and get out of my life right? I’m not trying to over analyze this but what experiences have other dumpees and dumpers had? Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 So here’s the deal… why does an EX leave their stuff at your place especially if they want nothing else to do with you? I mean come and get it and get out of my life right? I’m not trying to over analyze this but what experiences have other dumpees and dumpers had? She probably figures you'll just hold onto them or deliver them to her door like you did last time. Some people, procrastinate at picking up belongings. I have found that it helps to set a specific date - "I need you to collect or pick up these items by Saturday August . . .. . Otherwise, I will need to make other arrangements to get rid of them." Not as a threat but to make it clear that you are serious - you want the stuff out of your house. Some people just drag their feet.... I don't think you should look into this too much. (Most of my experience with this is actually with family that have said they want furniture or clothes that I'm passing on. But I have dealt with this once with an ex.) Link to comment
Kahdeksan Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 I'm sorry to learn of your situation and now this... but I'm in the same boat as you on this one. I have wondered too why they leave their stuff... she's the dumper by the way. The thing is mine was a bit more cunning, she took all of the good expensive stuff that I bought her and left all her other stuff... a whole room full to be precise. When she lived with me we used it for storing JUST her stuff, heh. Bloody hell. I wouldn't make the assumption of hoping for a reconcile because they leave their stuff... My ex, I guess she's just LOST, just wanted to bugger off so quickly that nothing else was of importance. Although she did leave a Marc Jacobs bag that I bought her behind... I'll probably give that to the Salvation Army. Link to comment
ladyachika Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 Although she did leave a Marc Jacobs bag that I bought her behind... I'll probably give that to the Salvation Army. Don't do that, give it to me! I gave back all the gifts my ex gave me. I have no use for them now. It's so awkward to be complimented on a piece of jewelry given to you by an ex, especially if you're dating someone new. They think you're holding on to the past. Link to comment
maka56 Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 Don't do that, give it to me! I gave back all the gifts my ex gave me. I have no use for them now. It's so awkward to be complimented on a piece of jewelry given to you by an ex, especially if you're dating someone new. They think you're holding on to the past. Yea I have a wrist bracelet from my ex I like, I never wear it now though incase someone asks who/where it's from and it just hurts looking at it, it's now in it's box. I'll buy a new one even though it's the same one it'll feel differnt wearing it. Link to comment
IMAbadman Posted July 29, 2008 Author Share Posted July 29, 2008 Yea I have a wrist bracelet from my ex I like, I never wear it now though incase someone asks who/where it's from and it just hurts looking at it, it's now in it's box. I'll buy a new one even though it's the same one it'll feel differnt wearing it. Why feel bad about it? I mean I don't regret my past with the EX. It didn't work out, so be it. But I think she should get her stuff in a timely manner, 3 months is pushing it. Link to comment
lostnva Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 I have 2k Diamond ring on my right hand....and its hurts to look at it, but Im keeping it! On another note....He only took clothes and a few things when he left six weeks ago. All of his stuff is here. His mother and grandmother passed away recently and all of their stuff is here as well. So basically he hasnt moved out yet, but is not making any effort to come home. He owes me money and I told him he couldnt have it until he paid me for the bills he left me with. Now after trying to get him to come back I finally told him to just come get it. He also has piles of mail here. Today is the 5th day of no contact....he hasnt called about it or anything. I did notice that he unblocked me from his MSN at work today. Should I break no contact for this or let him call when he wants it. Link to comment
Fireman Sam Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 Man...I have a whole houseload of her stuff....and I mean a whole houseload. About 10 box's of photo albums from her childhood, school & college, foreign exchange, travelling photos ...ect. Trophys, paintings (she painted quite a bit), heaps of her work stuff, her work portfolio that she spent about 3 mths making, doll collection, record collection, furniture she inherited from her grandparents and god knows how many books (hundreds of them). Then there is all the stuff that we bought together. Crap....she's going to have to get a truck. How long do you hang on to their stuff......... Well...you can always have a garage sale. Link to comment
IMAbadman Posted July 29, 2008 Author Share Posted July 29, 2008 Wow... sounds like I'm not the only person who's EX has left there stuff at another's home. Gee... I though I was special. Link to comment
Karmageddon Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 Gee... I though I was special. You are! You are unique and different...just like the rest of us! LOL!! My ex hubby is LAZY..so I just set a date that he needed to pick things up by or I would dispose of them as I saw fit. I was polite about it, but hell its not like he is helping me at all, he lives with someone else, he can store all of his crapola at his girlfriends house! Link to comment
IMAbadman Posted July 30, 2008 Author Share Posted July 30, 2008 There's that little part of me that hopes that she's left a few things so she has an excuse to come see me again. Then I wake up and realize it's just a dream. Link to comment
Kahdeksan Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 There's that little part of me that hopes that she's left a few things so she has an excuse to come see me again. Then I wake up and realize it's just a dream. That's what's running through me this very moment... trouble is I'm not sleeping... Link to comment
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