It's almost over...

[Stinkweed]

And it makes me so sad that I have to wish for it to be over. I'm talking about college. I just think I screwed up big time... I think I'm screwed for life. I'm just not happy, and doubt I'll ever be. And no matter what anyone says, I will never see what there is to look forward to in life afterwards, because people talk about it and it just scares me right out of my skin... I really don't know what to do, man.

 

I know I sound like such a whiner. But it's this empty pit in my stomach that makes me do it. This emptiness in my heart, that tells me everything I've done has been pointless. The older I get, the worse it gets. Maybe I'm just depressed, because everything that used to be pleasurable is not the same anymore... it lost substance. Like I realized none of it will ever be real.

 

I'm just so unhappy. I tried to be happy, but everytime I realize that I'm getting old... I know we all get old, but why did I get old so fast? These were supposed to be the best years of my life, where have they gone, and why were they never even good? It seems like only yesterday that I had graduated from high school. Sure I was scared, but still hoped something good was waiting for me. I was oblivious to everything that haunts my dreams and conscience today... It was like that movie that you think is going to be good but turns out to be really bad, and maybe you shouldn't have idealized it, because now you wish you still thought it was good...

 

I'll never get any of it back, I know... But it seems like it's too late to have what I want... The type of life, friendships, and even my relationship with my family... it's all changed for the worse even farther away from what I wanted... I hardly get along with anyone anymore. And you may say I live in the past, and maybe you're right. But it seems like many things are not normal, that no normal person should ever go through these things...

 

I had finally made a great friend, whom I shared many views in common with, but he changed too, and he went away for good, moved to the other side of the country.

 

Maybe I ask for too much... But I just want someone I can trust. Growing up hurts. I don't feel like a kid, or even a young adult. I feel like an old man. Maybe if my social skills weren't so band and didn't keep getting worse I could make new friends/meet more people... I'm bound to find more people who're close to my ideal type of friend eventually.

[Blue Streak]

Is there an age typo somewhere? Your avatar says you are 20 years old? Why exactly do you feel so old? Your lack of social skills? Everyone makes mistakes. You have your life ahead of you to make even more mistakes!!! Seriously. Don't be so damn hard on yourself.

[SupaflyTNT]

Dude, college isn't awesome for everyone. I had a good time but it wasn't the time of my life. I'll tell you right now, I'm 28 years old and these past few years have been the best of my life. Your life isn't over after college, get that thought out of your head. You have so much ahead of you. My advice is to seek some counseling, you sound as though you may be clinically depressed which is a real and serious condition you need to address.

[Ellie2006]

I think many people feel like that as graduation draws near so it's totally normal!

Just focus on making most of the time you have left.

[Stinkweed]

I think many people feel like that as graduation draws near so it's totally normal!

Just focus on making most of the time you have left.

 

Well I mean, I've still got Junior and senior year, but this last year went by so fast... if it wasn't because it sucked so bad, I would have wanted it to slow down.

 

 

Is there an age typo somewhere? Your avatar says you are 20 years old? Why exactly do you feel so old? Your lack of social skills? Everyone makes mistakes. You have your life ahead of you to make even more mistakes!!! Seriously. Don't be so damn hard on yourself.

 

No typo. But I see other 20 year olds and they look young... They have fun... It's just how I feel. Might be an end of semester thing...

 

Dude, college isn't awesome for everyone. I had a good time but it wasn't the time of my life. I'll tell you right now, I'm 28 years old and these past few years have been the best of my life. Your life isn't over after college, get that thought out of your head. You have so much ahead of you. My advice is to seek some counseling, you sound as though you may be clinically depressed which is a real and serious condition you need to address.

 

I know it isn't everything. But right now, when I talk a look at things, I should be having the time of my life like so many. Instead I keep feeling down... I've thought about talking to a counsellor. I will contact one as soon as I can.

[stereoeclectic]

it's like talking to myself at age 20.

 

man, i wonder what i would say. i felt exactly like you do at your age.

 

basically, you have to accept that you only see a piece of the big picture. it just keeps expanding, new things, new people, new hobbies. you look back and think "how could i not have seen that?"

 

all i can tell you is that you're the opposite of an old man and that life gets better as you gain wisdom and experience.

 

and if somebody told me that at age 20, i would have said "spare me the hallmark card bull * * * * . you don't know what it's like."

 

anyway, i hope things work out well for you.

[Stinkweed]

it's like talking to myself at age 20.

 

man, i wonder what i would say. i felt exactly like you do at your age.

 

basically, you have to accept that you only see a piece of the big picture. it just keeps expanding, new things, new people, new hobbies. you look back and think "how could i not have seen that?"

 

all i can tell you is that you're the opposite of an old man and that life gets better as you gain wisdom and experience.

 

and if somebody told me that at age 20, i would have said "spare me the hallmark card bull * * * * . you don't know what it's like."

 

anyway, i hope things work out well for you.

 

Yeah I feel a bit better now. I kinda always go through this at the end of the semester, except this time it was worse with a friend that graduated and moved away. Still wish some things would change... I'll do what I can to change what I have power to change, I guess...

[SupaflyTNT]

Good call on changing what you can. You DO have some control over what's going on in your life, just remember that. If you feel like you need to meet more people in order to get out there and have some fun then join some clubs at your college. That's what I did, there were lots of different clubs to join. Lol, I joined a brazilian jui jitsu club and met a lot of cool people there. We used to go out and get in all sorts of trouble at the bars and such. Anyway, I'm just saying there are things you can do to keep occupied and meet new people in college you just have to take some time to find them.

 

EDIT: By the way, I thought my last two years of college were my favorite and you still have those left to go! Be positive!

[Jetta]

I just heard on the radio today that men are happiest after age 48 and least happy in their 20's. It's the opposite for women.

 

Just thought I'd share the tidbit.

[Stinkweed]

Good call on changing what you can. You DO have some control over what's going on in your life, just remember that. If you feel like you need to meet more people in order to get out there and have some fun then join some clubs at your college. That's what I did, there were lots of different clubs to join. Lol, I joined a brazilian jui jitsu club and met a lot of cool people there. We used to go out and get in all sorts of trouble at the bars and such. Anyway, I'm just saying there are things you can do to keep occupied and meet new people in college you just have to take some time to find them.

 

EDIT: By the way, I thought my last two years of college were my favorite and you still have those left to go! Be positive!

 

I really don't know. I know from now on I won't meet anybody new. Cause it's only going to be classes with fewer people, the same people who were there for last semester's classes. Bleh... makes me gag. I really dunno. I think if I didn't think so much about what people MIGHT think, and if I just spoke my mind, I could make more friends even in my school's environment.

 

I just heard on the radio today that men are happiest after age 48 and least happy in their 20's. It's the opposite for women.

 

Just thought I'd share the tidbit.

 

Nothing I like to do I will be able to do when I'm 48... I'll probably have been "brainwashed" by age by then, though, so I won't care. Plus, that's probably men who've got decent jobs, a house, a wife and family. I don't think the ones who have none of that are very happy. I dunno.