False allegations made against me at work...

[dqueen]

I am feeling so hurt right now I cannot even find the words to explain my thoughts.

 

Just a while ago I received a call from my manager saying that she has received a long list of complaints about me regarding my work over the weekend. For those who don't know, I work at a shelter for abused and homeless women and their children. I know that I do my job to the best of my ability and make sure their needs are met. My passion has always been to help the needy and I have been doing humanitarian work since my early teen years so this is something I've been doing for a long time.

 

Well the manager told me this morning what the complaints were and I know they were nothing but false allegations to defame my character. They have made up stories and fabricated lies to the extent that I cannot even imagine. The funny thing is that these women were so nice to me on the weekend...they never once complained or showed any attitude towards me that made me think they had any hostility towards me whatsoever. If these woman have issues with me they should come and tell me to my face, not stab me in the back. We receive a lot of donations on Sundays and I gave a good chunk of it away to these women...the very same women who made the false complaints! These donations included a TV, VCR, dishes, children's books, clothing, small kitchen appliances and other odds and ends. It angers me I gave them all these things only to be treated like scum in the end.

 

Anyway, the manager has asked me to write a letter stating my side of the story and explaining that these are false allegations being made against me. Mind you, the manager has never been very good to me in the past so I have a hard time believing that ANYONE is going to hear my pleas. This has happened many times over the years where the women have tried to frame me and I've come to learn that they are experts in fabricating lies however, it never got this serious until today.

 

I'm feeling so low right now. It hurts when the people I'm trying to help do this to me. I wonder if my work is ever appreciated...if what I do is ever good enough for them. I do not deserve to be treated like this and I'm beginning to think twice about continuing this line of work. I'm slowly losing my sympathy for the homeless and it makes me sick that I'm even thinking like this. After all these years I've been working to serve humanity, I realized today that they were spent serving people who never deserved my help.

[southerngirl]

What exactly have you been accused of doing?

[pinkelephant]

i sympathize. my bestfriend volunteered at one of those shelters for children. she is probably one of the best people when it comes to helping others. and children? omg, she LOVES them.

 

 

she worked there for 4 months... only ... and i honestly have never heard her complain so much. those places wear you down so much.

[dqueen]

What exactly have you been accused of doing?

 

I guess I forgot to include that, huh! Some of them are:

 

- I give them attitude and throw their medication at them when they come for meds. Wow...this I could never imagine doing in my wildest dreams.

- I bribed one of them with $10 to paint the yard fence outside. Am I a fool to give them $10 from my own wallet?

- I am not attentive to them right away...meaning, I should drop everything I'm currently doing and be at their feet on their command.

- When donations come in, I don't give any to them.

- I invite my friends over who pretend they are homeless and need help, but they really are just visiting me for fun. Ummm...we have security cameras on every entrance and none of my friends have come within 10 feet of my workplace.

- Many other false bribery accusations...such as bribing them with money to do things around the shelter for me.

- Other petty things like I'm rude and think I'm better than them because they are homeless and I'm not...once of them even said that I think I'm the queen of the shelter and I treat the women like they are my slaves.

 

They have exaggerated the stories so much it's hard to tell what they will come up with next. There is always so much politics and drama at work I never know who to turn for help. Maybe tomorrow there will be a whole new list. ](*,)

[amipushy]

I bet you any money that in the background there is one main ring leader who is out get you. I've seen it before and its happened to me. They will make sure that the others are drawn into seeing the smallest mistake you make, and then it starts with "See I told you she was like that" and they all start focusing their attention on anything and everything you do, They gossip and complain behind your back and the ringleader (who probably won't be on the complaint- very clever!) will encourage them by saying "you want to complain about her". Its manipulation of the highest order. Why do they do that? Because they are a jealous bully and thats what bullies do. Start looking out for the silence when you enter and the eye contact between them all and you will find that person, sneaking behind the scenes. That person might even get up and leave the room when you enter.

 

If that person isn't going anywhere then I'm afraid that its time to start looking for a new job.

[dqueen]

Yes, this is exactly it and I've known this all along. The only trouble is trying to find out WHO is doing all this? Why should I leave when they want me gone? Why give them that satisfaction? Surprisingly, the one lady who I was damn sure complained about me didn't....or so the manager told me. It is sad how low they turn out to be and hurt someone like this.

 

Yes, they are jealous of me. Always have been. They've even passed comments like "What is a young person like you doing in this field of work? Shouldn't you be elsewhere with other people your age?" They are jealous that I am young, have a university degree that makes me fit and qualified for this job and they hate that I am not in an unfortunate position like them.

 

As for this eye contact and quietness you speak of...this happens between the homeless ladies and also between my manager and co-workers who don't like me. Here's why. About 3 years ago, my manager asked me to do something illegal...her brother was having some immigration troubles and asked me to marry her brother only so he could get permanent resident status in Canada (where I'm from) and then divorce him once his paperwork was completed. For this, she offered to PAY me $20,000. She begged and begged and I still refused to no avail. The manager was trying to take advantage of my position because 1) I was still a university student and had a student loan debt to pay back and 2) I had mentioned that I may move home as I was in a tight position financially. So she thought $20,000 would be like winning the lottery for me. She has hated me since that very day I refused and that's when the false complaints started flooding in. I know my manager has fabricated some lies but the homeless women are also doing this dirty thing. And they thrive off of this drama...they love to see me get kicked down.

 

Well, I have to now go drop off my letter proving my innocence and send it to the head office. How pathetic that I even have to do this.

[amipushy]

Why should I leave when they want me gone? Why give them that satisfaction?

 

Trust me on this one ok. I already knew all about it without even knowing the details didnt I? Take it from me - Just leave quietly before this person ruins your career and your reputation.

 

Its nothing personal, this person is just warped and cannot stop, they will have done this before and will do it again, probably just a week or so after you leave they will start on someone else.

 

You will not win against people like that because they have a different mindset and will lie and cheat and turn everyone against you and those on your side will turn a blind eye not to end up in your position (or be next)and you WILL get the sack. It is very difficult to get a job with no references and allegations of such serious breaches of conduct on your work record. Please don't fight this, just pack up your stuff and get the hell out of there!

[JeckyllNHyde]

it's good advice since you seem to know what you are talking about.

i wonder though.. since there are camera's isn't there a way for dqueen to defend herself against such alligations?

 

also.. i'd be sad to leave and give into such "bullying". first instinct would be to fight back till this stops instead of bow down and leave

[dqueen]

Update!

 

 

 

I know who the ring leader is and I'm not surprised it's her! It's the manager's side-kick (the other co-worker who hates me) and it was set up by both of them to frame me so that I would get fired or leave the job. I'll call the manager "M" and the other co-worker "C".

 

I went in to work today even though I was not scheduled to work. "M" and her "C" had gone home for the day so I figured it would be a good time. My intention was to speak to the women who had "complained" and they all told me they had no issues with me and NEVER mentioned any of the things the manager told me about on the phone. IT WAS ALL MADE UP!

 

What happened was "C" gave them each a pen and paper and told them to quickly write down what "C" as going to tell them to write before "M" arrived otherwise they will not get the money they get every Monday from social services. Fearing they may not get their money, they quickly wrote it down and the letter was ready before "M" arrived. When "M" arrived, "C" went to her with letter in hand and says "See? See this letter! They were complaining about Dqueen and wrote this letter and wanted me to send it to the Head Office. I told them to wait for you." What a liar! They never had any intention of getting me in trouble or taking this to the Head Office. They also never came with a written letter the way they had explained it to me. All along, "M" exaggerated the whole thing, "C" tried to twist the story and situation to make it more dramatic for their own gratification. Sickos.

 

The women I spoke to apologized to me that they never thought it would turn out like this and that I am one of the nicest and most generous staff member in the entire office. So we all made our peace. I also got WRITTEN proof from them that "C" asked them to write the letter and that they never had any issues with me whatsoever.

 

Now it's payback time for "M" and "C". It doesn't surprise me that they are the lowly scum they prove themselves to be.

[amipushy]

First off.. Do you have this letter? Do you have witnesses who are prepared to stand by your side and WRITE A STATEMENT TODAY and stand with you against this person? Are you prepared to fight this out in a formal meeting with HR people bearing in mind the manager (who has the power to make your life hell and sack you) and thrash this out, knowing that they both will lie to cover their a****?

 

It sounds like these people are afraid of her/him and I seriously doubt they will back you up because their own lives will be made hell and If you have don't evidence and/or witnesses prepard to speak up on your behalf by a FORMAL STATEMENT then you don't have a case and you really should think about packing up and leaving.

 

Its a hard world and people fight to the death sometimes, you know. This person has a real need to get rid of you now and will up the stakes not stop or back down. Don't be one of those who go down with the ship and consider moving out of the line of fire.

[dqueen]

I do not have the letter or a copy of the letter that "C" made them write but I do have a written statement from each of the women saying they were forced to write it. The ladies did seem really scared when I was talking to them so my guess would be that they would NOT be willing to stand by my side and fight this.

 

Fighting this with HR will do me no good. Our entire company itself is very small and the Head Office is close friends with "M"...you could say they are like family. About a year ago, one of my co-workers "Z" resigned from her job for the exact same reasons I'm outlining here. "M" and "C" hounded her out to death with lies, exaggeration and manipulation..."Z" went to HR to complain and they did not believe a single word she said. "M" is an amaaaaaaaaaaaaazing liar so she successfully covered her a** * and "Z" was made to look like a fool.

 

You are right by saying that "M" and "C" are going to continue their petty games. I am not going to up and leave...yet. I'm feeling bitter and want to give them a dose of their own medicine. But the question is how??? There is no one in position of power at my workplace who will help or listen to me. My best friend whom I work with has also been through this but maintains her patience and keeps working. This is getting so old and tiresome it needs to stop and I want to be the one to finish them off!

[healthseeker]

Turn her in for trying to break the law....get her on tape!

[amipushy]

This is getting so old and tiresome it needs to stop and I want to be the one to finish them off!

 

Been there done that! trust me, I felt the same, it took me 7 years for things to get to a head. It became a psychological battle which nobody else could see or understand.

 

People like that don't think like you and me.They have some sort of personailty disorder. They lie, cheat, manipulate and scapegoat others so they never get the blame and very rarely do they find themselves under the spotlight and if they do they immediately deny, project the blame onto you and play victim (BooHoo) and you lose.

 

My advice is still to get out now while you can obtain good a reference. I was lucky, I saw it coming... and left before too much damage was done.

[fragmint]

i know its hard to get up and leave now but i would take amipushy's advice and leave. you dont need to deal with that sort of crap and those sort of people.

 

 

and she is right, those sort of people like M and C are like pathological liarsand they will stick together and make you look like the crazy one no matter what you do. you cant 'reason' with them or anyone on their side, theyll somehow turn it back against you and once you take the bait to defend instead of being on the offense (since theyll be firing at you like in zombie movies) you'll go down really fast.

 

what id do is quit and just forget about this place. also did M's brother find anyone else to marry? if they did, you could report this to the government authorities and let them give her hell.

[dqueen]

Another update!

 

So "M" called and screamed down the phone at me because I decided after speaking to the women that I was not going to send my own statement to the head office to prove my innocence. I was innocent anyway! I left a little on "M"'s desk saying I had spoken to the women and they said they never had any issues with me. Well..."M" is pissed now because she thinks I'm calling her a liar and she takes it as an insult that I went against her by talking to the women blah blah blah. In other words, I had no right to speak to them about problems they may have with ME! ](*,)

 

So she gave me an ultimatum. Either I be with her and write my own statement which she will approve before sending off to H.O. or I be without her and handle this on my own when H.O. contacts me. She is going to send the fake letter to H. O. anyway. "C", of course, is coaching her on what to do for her next step to trap me. How these women wake up every morning and see their face in the mirror is beyond me!

 

My advice is still to get out now while you can obtain good a reference. I was lucky, I saw it coming... and left before too much damage was done.

 

I am not concerned about getting a good reference because my best friend, who also happens to be the assistant manager will be my reference on future job applications. I consider myself very lucky that she is there! It doesn't come as a surprise that "M" and "C" have also framed her many times so she is well aware of what is going on.

 

Framing and making false allegations should be a crime!!!!

 

also did M's brother find anyone else to marry? if they did, you could report this to the government authorities and let them give her hell.

 

Hahahaha....I've heard M's many different versions about her brother's "marriage". First she said he had given up coming to Canada and was going to go to Australia, then couple months later she changed the story saying he was coming to Canada on a student visa. I think he did eventually get married and later "divorced" her after his paper work became final.

 

I have considered turning her in to the immigration officials but the problem is that I have no solid evidence to show them that what I'm saying is true. I was not smart at that time...I should've gotten some form of official document like a marriage contract with M's brother's name on it and kept it as proof. Come to think of it...I don't think I even remember his name!

 

That experience alone has made me stronger and I know what to do for next time should it ever happen again.

[amipushy]

This isnt looking good for you. You're getting in deeper and deeper and I think you should leave.

 

At very least you should speak to HO and ask them for an appointment to tell your side of the story. If all else fails, I think you should seek advice from an employment lawyer. I think it is just a matter of time before you are pushed out, sometimes it is better to jump.. Be warned that unless you have proof and witnesses your H O will take the managers side because of the legal implications.

 

*Your reference will come from your employer. The company who employ you next will write to your manager.