Closure?

[spidermonkey]

I'm in high school (yes, sorry, another one of those cliche teenage dramas and I'm about to go into year 11 after the school holidays. I met this guy in year 7 and while for the first year we didn't really talk, throughout year 8 and 9 we really got to know each other.

Throughout my school year I am known as 'The Boff' and I've never really had much 'popularity with boys', so to speak (people have mimed puking at the idea of going out with me, I've been told my face is , been told I'll never get a boyfriend because boys don't like 'girls like me'... the list could go on) so this was the first proper guy that payed me any attention and my first proper crush.

Not only that, but last year my group of friends had some problems. Every day there would be something wrong (you know what teenage girls can be like when they get fired up and this extended into our lessons ('who sits next to who', etc.) so school was just an unhappy time... except for this guy.

He'd talk to me in every lesson when he got the chance, and before school started, and he made school bearable. Soon became pretty crazy for him, and we developed this sort-of-friendship where about a sentence into the conversation we were both smiling. However, he dated a girl once (on and off) when we were close, and he didn't seem any less interested in talking to me, so I figured he felt about me in a pretty platonic way. He also told me once that he didn't fancy me, so I thought the message was pretty clear.

I might have taken the risk and told him how I felt anyway, except that I thought my crush was just an infactuation due to the fact that he was the first boy I'd ever befriended, and that my friends were giving me trouble.

Not wanting to start all the gossip that would no doubt arise if I told him how I felt, I decided just to stop talking to him and save me the jealously I was feeling because of his girlfriend. My friends were all friends again, and school was improving, so I resisted talking to him as much as possible.

However, I didn't get over him during the past year, and I'm still completely hung up on him. He's dating a different girl now, and I have to see them every day. I feel sick of struggling to move on, and it doesn't help that recently our friendship has started to spark up again and we're talking more. Now I keep remembering how great our friendship was and how stupid I was to not just tell him how I felt in the first place.

I know that normally the best thing to do would be to tell him, because now there's a big 'what if?', but the fact that he has a girlfriend means I shouldn't and won't. I feel like this is the only way I can get closure and move on, but I can't do it. Are there any other things I could do to get closure or should I just try and get over him in time?

Any advice appreciated, thank you Sorry for the giant essay of a post

[youdontknowme91]

wow this is just like me... as a matter of fact im entering the 11th grade this year too...

 

...but anyways...basically everything you said was the same with me and my current bf a few years ago....i met him in 6th grade we were both new to my middle school but we didnt get close till 8th and 9th gradel..i always liked him since i met him but we never really talked until 8th grade and over that year...we got to the point where i called him on the phone all the time...the smileing while talking was amazing i loved it..

 

we went into 9th grade and things got to where i couldnt do anything without thinking about him...but of course he liked flirting with lots of girls and i took it very offensively...so id get mad at him and try to avoid him of course i never told him why i did this but i couldnt help it seeing with or around others girls killed..

 

ive always been shy...im very unspoken...so things went on like this forever i wanted to tell him but i was to chicken...but somehow he knew already and one day he just looked at me and told me he loved me and now its 18 months later...

 

my advice is to weigh the pros and cons of telling him for me it worked out but what if it hadnt what if i never told him? id be wandering what if.... what if id told him.. what if i wasnt chicken.. but on the other side its risky cuz if you tell him and he doesnt feel the same he may feel awkward talking to you the way he does now... it may complicate what you already have...i guess its just whatever you feel is worth more a normal friendship or knowing what he feels and what could be...goodluck

[cuteguyinftl]

Well..let me tell you something...its not high school drama...its your life so first thing we need to do...is say I am important and that what is happening in my life has the same weight as some in their fifties.

 

As you get older, I am 35 years old, you start to look at your youth as this crazy youthful happy time. That no cares in the world cause you have no mortgage or car insurance, etc... But that is all bs... cause if you are hurting from a situation then it matters.

 

Just remember that I made it to 35 years old and probably will till 80 but if you are leaving in the now it doesn't matter if you in highschool or preschool your situation still affects you.

 

Just hold your head up high and say. It is what it is. There for...I can only do what i can do to change it. Somethings you can change other things you can't but when you can see the light...go for it!!