canitwork Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 Without going into the problems that got me to a pending divorce i will say this... After 8.5 years my wife said she couldn't do it anymore. She felt she had nothing to give to the marriage anymore. We have 2 girls (4) and (2). She said it was because of the relationship I had with her mother, I pushed her away because I always wanted to talk about our problems, etc. She said she really felt like she shouldn't be in a marriage she coudln't give her all into. It wasn't a nasty breakup, I took the amicable approach because hey if someone doesn't want to be with me then ok. Well i will also say that even though we split... Our relationship was very emotional. We were very very close. We hugged and kissed everyday and told each other we loved one another everyday multiple times. We were very physical. To put it more clearly... we thought we were soul mates and we sure acted like it. But every relationship has ups and downs. My wife just couldn't handle the very little downs we had. So the breakup happened and she moved out. It was tough for about a month with constant animosity, and anger, etc. Very little phone talk. We have to talk everyday because of the kids. We split time with the kids evenly and we both love our childrent dearly. So for a while she was doing her thing saying she wanted to be alone but signed up for link removed immediately. Going out dancing, bars, etc. I basically just did my own thing by keeping busy, hanging with the kids, going out with my buddies and thats it. Then about 3 weeks ago in a normal conversation we began flirting with each other. Now I know this is bad but again i remind you we were very physical with each other. We never went in 8.5 years more than a week without sex. So i think it was just sexual tension that builded. Then it led to the inevitable and we had sex. But it was different. It wasn't the same. And i know why. She was seeing other people just not being physical with them. To add into this... All this time she has said she still loved me and always will. She was just confused all the time and blank minded. Then after the sex was over, she turned into queen B again. Then for 3 more weeks we barely talked. Only when the kids were saying hi and goodbye. Now I can honestly say that even though i have been doing well on the outside by going to the gym and keeping busy, i have been hurting inside. I loved her like nothing else in this world. I never saw the divorce coming. We always moved on or at least i thought we did from problems. I thought our emotional tie would always beat anything on the outside. Occasionally I would express my feelings but it was short. Well last thursday I wrote her a long email saying how much she meant to me and how much i missed her. I really got detailed and brought up great past times. She didnt respond or say anything about it so i brought it up a few days later and I come to find out that she said it really touched her and made her question her decisions. The problem is she still feels like she doesn't know what to do. She also admitted she dated someone who she thought she initially liked and only kissed him but now she doesn't. It was short lived and done. For the first time we talked for more than a few minutes about random life things. It was like how we always talked and it felt nice. She said the same thing. We went to breakfast with our kids the next day and that was nice too. We are going to lunch this week so we'll see how that goes but here is my problem... I asked her last night is there any part of her that wants to try again and she said at this time no. I said to her that I meant by going on a date. This was all by text message and she responded with... A date yes. Am I just a sucker who is still trying to hang onto something that will never work or am I just plain stupid? I always told myself I would never give up on her because i know there is love for me inside her. She does mean everything to me and I just want her to come home so bad. Any advice? Link to comment
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