Boyfriend was lied to about me

[Kiafairy]

I had a post on here about asking for advice on why my bf of 9 months wasnt returning my calls or emails. He messaged me the other day and told me that my friend told him that I cheated on him. Obviously I was very upset with my friend at first, cause I hooked her up with my boyfriends best friend so there was no reason for her to make up lies about me. I told my bf that I was going to call my friend and ask her about it. Now here is where I get confused. He told me to "let it be". I called her anyways, and of course she denied it and said she would call him and see what was up. I told him over and over that I was 100 percent devoted to him. If you didnt read my post..ill fill you in real quick. he lives in texas..i in florida, and yes we have physically lived together before. his dad was sick so i came to florida for school while he helped his parents. we were planning on moving together in feb. things were fine until december. and just three days ago is when he told me about this so-called accusation of me cheating on him. I don't know what to think. My friend would have no benefit on making up lies. And my bf and I were very happy, he just was telling me (before dec) that he loved me and never wanted to lose me and if he ever did, he would fight for me until he got me back. So yeah...really confused any advice would be helpful...cause just until dec he was telling me how much he loved me, things were honestly fine...i dont understand.

[The Morrigan]

A few possibilities here. If your friend was going to talk to him (and I'm figuring this is NOT something she's going to wait on long), I'd see what she has to say after she does. Right now you've only got 3 possible scenarios really.

 

1) He misunderstood something she said.

2) He is lying.

3) She is lying.

 

There's no way to say if the options narrow to 2&3 without her talking to him first. If both of them hold their position after they talk, you have a problem - because it's her word against his. Then is when you'd have to sit down and think about if either of them would have any motive for doing so, if you'd consider their word trustworthy, etc, and take it from there. First though, let her talk to him and ask him what's going on, and see what they have to say after that. It would be a shame to start accusing one or other of them of lying if it turns out to be the first option! Take care.

[kuhl282000]

Hey Fairy

 

Sorry your having to go through what must be a difficult situation. It sounds to me that someone has a hidden agenda. And you might have a tough time putting the pieces of the puzzle together. The facts are some people are just cruel, sad to say. Like you said you confronted her and she denied it. If the seed is already planted in your boyfriends mind. I would suggest asking him to trust you. You either cheated or you did not cheat. In this case you have been faithful. He needs to believe you. If he can not do that then he will always doubt you as far as trusting you. And because he lives in another state. Sounds like things have gotten a little cold of late, as far as your treatment. It could now open the door for him to take a look at other options. I was going to move in with a girl last year. We were in love, she said all of the right things. We were even talking about getting married. Then believe it or not (I still can't believe it) some guy from her past popped into the picture. And just like that everything changed. She is now living with the guy, and I have not talked with her at all. My closeure was sending a letter. So what I'm saying is something sounds like it is up. I say that when people who you think you know and can count on. All of a sudden start treating you different (the cold shoulder) I have found that something is up. If you talk to him ask direct questions. Like are we still hooking up and moving in together ? That way you can pin him down.

Why the girl would say that bothers me. She is part of the picture, everyone has a pay-off for saying things. What is hers ? Keep me posted.

Like I said, my thing changed just like that. It was a nightmare. Just when you think you know someone, you find out you really don't know them at all.

 

Kuhl

[Frodo Baggins]

Excellent point, Morri, the best approach is to step back, and look at what you have; consider each person's motives as to why they might say what they say. If possible, try and give both of them the benefit of the doubt, so you won't sway yourself to one-side before you find out anything. For the most part, Morrigan is right, first thing's first, don't accuse.