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what do i do now...? please help!


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I apologise in advance for the length, but im very confused now..


ok so i been dealing with a girl that was very into me, she always txt me and called me steady. i wasn't making much effort into this, cause i wasn't sure of what i wanted from this... so me and her and another couple decide to spend the weekend in a hotel. 2 separate rooms of course. so anyways, me and her are in our room watching a movie and were cuddling and then we started making out and rubbing up against eachother but that was it, nothing progressed from that, so then she felt tired and wanted to sleep, but eventually we both went to sleep.


so this morning comes around and she seemed different, she said her stomach was hurting and she was tired, so we get home and i talk to her on msn, and i said i wanted to talk to her later on if she was free, and my intention was to tell her how i was developing feelings for her. but she said she wanted to talk to me as well. so i told her to tell me what was up and this is what was said between the both of us....


Her: i dunno last night.. u seemed pissed when i wanted to sleep.


Me: i did?


her: ya i dunno u wanted to keep goin at it and i didnt and u kinda kept pushin for it


me: well to me it seemed like u wanted nothing to do with me today


her: i was cranky cuz i was thinkin about that


Me: and no i told u i have control, i was fooling around with u, i wasnt mad at all lol


her: didnt seem like it


me: didnt seem like wut? that i couldnt control myself? or thatr i was mad?


her: both


me: i was horny but if u didnt want to i would have stoped, and i did when u said u were tired, and i seriously wasnt mad at all, i got tired from fooling around. i thought u were fine with it until u said u were tired, if i knew it was bothering u i wouldnt have done anything


her: alright np.


me: was it bothering u?


her: a bit.


me: why didnt u say something to me than? i feel like a complete fool now,


her: i didnt want too...


me: why?


her: i duno..


me: listen, i want to know something, r u still serious about this working?


her: i do . but im sorry when things like that happen it just pisses me off cuz its happened to me wit every guy


me: i understand that, and im glad ur telling me how ur feeling, cause i wasnt trying to hurt u, believe me, im not some pig trying to get some off u, ill be honest, i was on the fence when i found out that u were liking me cause i was really scared u were gonna hurt me


her: i knew u were


me: but im having feelings for u too, and i want to see this work, im not here to just * * * * with u or just get some off u cause believe me i have more respect for u than that, and well this is what i wanted to talk to u about


her: its happened to me so many times, sorry i just take it personally sumtimess, im not mad just kinda sad


me: ya i understand, but i dont do that thing to every girl i see or know, im not that type to * * * * around, i started having feelings for u b4 we went away this weekend and being alone with u made me feel good and happy, trust me i would have been more than happy to just lay there holding u like i did b4 that * * * * went on. believe me if u want, but i know how im feeling inside for u, and i want this to work between us, i think it could really be something special, but i just dunno how ur feeling about this now


Her: david i did come into this wanting it to work u kno that andy knows that and eve knows that. its just i wish u knew wat ive been through wit that type of stuff it was just a replay of things that have happened to me like more than two , three times and it commin from u of all ppl affected me


Me: and thats why im feeling really crummy about this now, cause it wasnt my intentions to make u feel past * * * * , i really care about u ok.... like i dunno how to tell u cause words cant describe what im starting to feel for u now, like when i said i think ur beautiful and i love to make u smile i ment that, and u seriously need to stop thinking im like all the others out there cause im not a * * * * talker, when i say something i mean it 100% and what im telling u now i havent told anyone else yet. i dunno what else to tell u other than i want this to work between us, and i want something serious, not bull * * * * and games


Her: im not used to the nice things i dont gett them alot, but seriously, who says ur not gunna end up acting like that again


Me: u have to trust me that i respect u way to much to hurt u, i dont want to get hurt n i dont want to hurt u. stop thinking the negative towards me


Her: i kno that. but its just like im so depressed lately and u made me happy and than all of a sudden after that last nite. i feel so * * * * ty


Me: believe me all i wanna do is make u happy, and i feel really crummy now and im sorry but at the same time i thought u were ok with it cause u kept going too.... trust me if i knew it was bothering u i would have stoped right away cause im not out to hurt u, i want to make this work between us, and show u that i really do care a lot for u and that im serious about us


Her: but even was i was tryin to sleep u kept goin and i was like daviddd.. david... and u wouldnt listen.. until i got stern lol


Me: ya after i was just provoking and trying to keep you awake being loud and annoying and i know i have a bad tendency to keep pissing u off when u tell me to stop, and thats just in general, i know i need to fix that about myself. i can be to much of a * * * * disturber sometimes


Her: its fine. im just . so messed up david i dunno wut it is. i dont wanna get hurt either and i didnt think i was goin to by u and than like i just get such bad deja vu and start thinkin and stuff and i think too much


Me: eh im not blaming u for that or hold it against u, but u cant think like that about me, everyone that knows me knows i dont just speak for tha sake of speaking, and u have to trust me that im not here to hurt u, im not looking for bull * * * * , i want to get serious with u, and ya maybe u havent had good things told to u b4 in the past but thats where im different...


Her: thats wat they all say david. its funny. cuz it all starts off the same way. i gtg..



ok so what should i do at this point? i really like her and want to get serious but i dunno how shes feeling now. i dunno what i should do? should i give her some space? i almost feel like sending her a txt saying something simple like "smile" but im unsure.... any advice would be great....

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Move on.


She obviously has some issues she forgot to check at the door. You keep reassuring her that you are into her and not there to play games and apologizing, but she doesn't seem to be getting it! You have shared your feelings about her and what happened, she didn't really listen or take it in. She seems focused on herself more than on you or your potential relationship. You are at different places, she needs to deal with some things. Break it off and tell her why. If she is serious she will contact you when she is ready. But don't let your heart get broken for chasing a girl that is not ready to be in a relationship, she might just want someone to be a shoulder to cry on, a sounding board and unless you are cool with that, move on.


this might not have been what you wanted to hear, it's just the way I see it. Only you know how real and sincere this all is and if this advice is fitting.


take care.

all the best,


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