amylyn930 Posted July 27, 2008 Share Posted July 27, 2008 I am confused and I don't know exactly with what... this may end up being a bit lengthy because I need to vent... About 8 months ago I ended a 4 and a half year long relationship. It was just time.. and it was hard and somewhat depressing. Overall I felt good though- like a new person. I saw it as a way to start over and concentrate on me. That night I went out to drink with some friends. My friend invited some guys out that she knew and we all went to the bar together. One of her friends and I ended up having a great connection that night. We danced, made out, got drunk. I went home with him.. spent the night... exchanged numbers with the possibility of doing it again.. said goodbye and that was that. That was all it was suppose to be. I certainly wasn't looking for another relationship... but one thing led to another.... within 5 months we were considered boyfriend and girlfriend... within 6 months we were living together... it was a quick road. Just last week he moved accross the country for a great job opportunity.. and I am left here sulking... and being depressed about the distance. I am still here because I started school and I have 2 years left and I need to finish it. I have already transfered 4 times... I am always moving... always being "flaky" like my mother likes to say it... But here I am... wanting to move so badly.. knowing its not the best of ideas... and I am just torn... I am torn because I can not feel happy and just "be in college"... I am constantly torn between the idea of getting married... having babies... having a family... its what I have longed for for years...i cant standing living where I am living... and the list can just go on... and I want to do the same thing I always do.. pack up..and move... and be further behind in school...but the money issues.. and the fact I am doing it for a relationship that really hasn't been that long... and its not secure enough to move accross the country for... and im just mad at myself for so many reasons that really arent worth being mad about. Now I am thinking maybe I should just break up with him.. so I dont have this temptation and focus on school and making money and doing what i need to do... but then the thought... its a great connection... he could be the one... dont just throw it away... i dont know... Link to comment
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