how can you tell if they are high main, prendtous types.

[joe45]

some of my guy friends have met girls off pof, and said they are prentenous, high mainteance,they met them on the first date for coffee. i was wonderin what are some clues you can tell, just by talking to them for 1 hr and find out that they are prentenous, high maintenance . what are some clues,examples, what would they say to make you think they are like that.

if a girl is dressed nicely with makeup and nice fashioned clothes-name brands would that be called high maintenance

[Stars_n_Guitars]

OH MEN! You call us high maintenance when we want to dress up and put make-up on when we go to meet you for coffee???

 

I don't think you can exactly be certain if a woman is high maintenance at the first meeting!

 

I wonder if your guys just didn't want to pay for what the lady was getting....

[Nicole4]

If a girl gets all done up for a date then the guy should be flattered. Case closed.

 

For the conversation portions I'm sure more than a couple grimaces towards inexpensive restaurants, mass public outings like amusement/theme parks or hobbies/places that cost little or no money to go to can do the trick.

[x_perfect_stranger_x]

high maintenance!! Hmm Honey, a girl who dresses up nicely either in designers or not, that wears make-up and takes pride in her looks aint high maintenance.

[Iris-PJ]

It is not always the clothes...

 

"A lady ain't what she wears, it's what she knows." -India Arie

 

It really depends on what she talks about. If all she talks about is doing a lot of things all the time (braggin) that might be a sign. If all she talks about is her clothes and money that might be a sign. If she looks bored half way through your conversation and looks at her phone every 10 minutes, that might be a sign.... If she exudes conceit (not to be confused with self confidence) that might be a sign. If all she talks about is any one thing like say umm "The Hills", that might be a sign. But an hour is too short of a time to really get to know someone, but usually YOU CAN TELL right away.

 

Same with guys ... if all they talk about is their car or favorite sports team... that is a type of high maintenance...

 

 

let me put it more simply ... if after the conversation you feel worse about yourself, s/he may be high maintenance/pretentious ... so just walk away.

 

just my two cents,

-PJ

[Rising]

Tell-tale signs:

 

She has a dog that is more of an accessory than a pet. (Think Paris Hilton wannabe)

 

She has numerous name brand accessories. Sure a girl with a pair of Gucci sunglasses can be normal and fashionable... but when you start seeing that shes rockin' the purse, the shoes, the scarf, etc etc... it means that she's got a standard of expensive tastes that you'd have to keep up with. Does this mean high maintenance? No... but if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck... heh you get the point...

 

If she's making demands from the get go and has to have everything her way then you can expect that it will continue to be that way.

 

Hyper-picky food habits usually can indicate a degree of high-maintenance.

 

Dunno if I'll get flamed for writing this stuff... but I'm just saying it like I see it. There are plenty of high maintenance guys out there so if someone starts a thread on that I'll play the other side.

 

 

[Batya33]

I think a person is pretentious when the person does not make a sincere effort to make you feel comfortable in your own skin when getting to know you because the person is overly focused tooting his/her own horn. I think it's completely unfair to judge someone as pretentious solely by what she is wearing just lke you wouldn't want to be judged as someone who lacks intelligence just because you misspelled "pretentious". Is there something wrong with a woman who makes a good living and can afford to wear well made clothes - I can't see how that is high maintenance if she earned the money herself and doesn't expect someone else to maintain her lifestyle. (and no I am not a big shopper in the least, I find it kinda boring).

[poloplayer]

I agree with Rising. I've dated women like that and I have learned.

 

An item here or there, or getting dressed up for an occasion is one thing, but once your entire ensemble screams designer and you take hours to get ready to go grocery shopping, then we have an issue. I even dated a girl who had a Pomeranian who only wore rhinestone necklaces and had a giant pink carrying case for when he traveled. LOL. That was when I knew that this was not going to work out between us.

 

It's a simple date over coffee. No need for make-up or fancy clothes. I'm a guy who prefers no make-up on a woman. Look clean and presentable. This is coffee and heavy make-up and fancy clothes would be overkill, unless the person is just getting off of work or some similar occasion.

[DeviousDevil]

I think Iris nailed it:

 

let me put it more simply ... if after the conversation you feel worse about yourself, s/he may be high maintenance/pretentious ... so just walk away.

 

If the girl wants to be married within the first two months, that is probably a big sign, that I drove by to my cost...lol.

[Superfreak]

I'd classify a woman as high maintenance if she expected me to pay for everything, all the time, or the vast majority of the time.

 

Oddly enough while I wouldn't tolerate financial high maintenance in a woman at all, with my last girlfriend I was probably far too tolerant of her emotional high maintenance. I guess it's just easier to know if you're being taken for a ride financially as opposed to knowing if you're becoming your g/f's emotional punching bag. The line between trying to be a caring boyfriend and work things out for her, and realizing that she's having a toxic impact on you that you don't deserve can be a difficult balancing act to know when the line is crossed.

[NewPhillyGuy]

few things come to mind:

 

- expects you to pay for everything

 

- always has to have things her way - doesn't seem concerned about what you want

 

- much more concerned about her own feelings than your own

[Brightest Dark]

It's a simple date over coffee. No need for make-up or fancy clothes. I'm a guy who prefers no make-up on a woman. Look clean and presentable. This is coffee and heavy make-up and fancy clothes would be overkill, unless the person is just getting off of work or some similar occasion.

 

I take 3 hours to get ready whether I'm meeting a guy I fancy or whether I'm just going out shopping on my own. Doesn't mean I'm high maintenance. Just means I feel better about myself when I've got my hair and make-up as I like it!

 

I disagree with Rising about the picky food thing. I'm very picky as far as food goes... but I still think I'm not high maintenance. I'm happy going to dollar stores looking for bargains and walking places to save money!

 

Just go and meet someone and after a date or two you'll get more of an idea about them. Talk to them and get to know their personality - rather than judging them from how they look.

[Carmine]

I take 3 hours to get ready whether I'm meeting a guy I fancy or whether I'm just going out shopping on my own. Doesn't mean I'm high maintenance. Just means I feel better about myself when I've got my hair and make-up as I like it!

 

I disagree with Rising about the picky food thing. I'm very picky as far as food goes... but I still think I'm not high maintenance. I'm happy going to dollar stores looking for bargains and walking places to save money!

 

Just go and meet someone and after a date or two you'll get more of an idea about them. Talk to them and get to know their personality - rather than judging them from how they look.

 

Mmm, sounds high maintenance to me. 3 hours to get ready to go anywhere? Do you sleep?

[ur02111222]

I don't really think high maintenance and pretentious are the same thing. High maintenance doesn't necessarily seem like a bad thing. If a girl takes time to take care of her body, hair, and makeup, she's high maintenance in a way, but not bad. She just likes to look good for herself (and for you). Nothing wrong with that. And a picky eater isn't high maintenance. She just someone to eat bad quality food. I am the pickiest eater, but I never wear makeup or bother with my hair. Am I high maintenance (in a bad way) because of my eating habits?

 

You just have to get to know the woman and decide for yourself.

[ur02111222]

Mmm, sounds high maintenance to me. 3 hours to get ready to go anywhere? Do you sleep?

 

 

3 hours isn't necessarily long though depending on what someone is doing. For example, she might be eating a meal before she goes out, taking a long bath, drying her hair, curling it, putting on makeup, picking up some stuff around the house, etc. And if 3 hours makes her feel good about how she looks and feels, then more power to her!

[poloplayer]

I take 3 hours to get ready whether I'm meeting a guy I fancy or whether I'm just going out shopping on my own. Doesn't mean I'm high maintenance. Just means I feel better about myself when I've got my hair and make-up as I like it!

 

Um, what are you smoking girl? I respectfully disagree, and I would consider that to be high maintenance.

 

3 hours to get ready to go anywhere? Do you sleep?

 

Right. What else do you do in your day? Do you go to school and/or work? 3 hours to get ready sounds like an awful lot unless you are performing on stage in opera or theater.

[AtMyWitsEnd]

...She has numerous name brand accessories. Sure a girl with a pair of Gucci sunglasses can be normal and fashionable... but when you start seeing that shes rockin' the purse, the shoes, the scarf, etc etc... it means that she's got a standard of expensive tastes that you'd have to keep up with.

 

Exactly what I thought of. I get dressed up--in a dress I spent $20 on from Kohl's. I work with girls who spend $600 on a pair of shoes because they saw actresses on "Sex and the City" buying those shoes. I go to Payless and spend $15. Those same girls tell me they want my shoes, or boots, or whatever it is I find, almost always on sale.

If a girl is dressed up, that's fine. If she has a single expensive accessory, fine. Maybe it was a gift. But if you see that she has the expensive handbag, the matching sunglasses, the $600 shoes--that kind of girl can't go camping or if she can, she has to have Ugg boots (thinking...$150? They're expensive), a particularly cool jacket that some famous athlete wears...get the picture?

You don't have to be as frugal as me--I'm Scottish by blood and it shows--but like Rising said, it is a lifestyle that is expensive and you will be expected to keep up with it.

[AtMyWitsEnd]

Also, when I say "getting ready," that means from the point I step into the shower to when I walk out the door...about an hour and a half, two hours, to shower, shave my legs and underarms, blowdry my hair, straighten it, put on makeup, find my clothes and jewelry and shoes and get dressed, locate everything I need to have with me and step to the door.

If I were getting ready to go out on a special occasion, I would dress up and spend maybe an additional 20-30 minutes getting that just right. So you really need to take all of that into account.

 

Also, I have incredibly picky eating habits. But mine is for health reasons. I read "The Jungle" and now I don't eat meat...no red meat, a bit of fish, a very little bit of chicken, no sushi or crab or bottom feeders like catfish, no reptilian meat...and I have to buy eggs from free-range chickens fed with organic natural grain. I buy organic soy milk and organic almond butter instead of peanut butter. I am very particular about what I put into my body and am in much better shape as a result of all of my eating "peculiarities."

I can always eat potatoes. They have those almost anywhere, in some form.

[Carmine]

Couldn't have said it better myself. Whenever I walk by one of those stores in the mall that are essentially selling some poor cow's ass for 600 bucks, I snicker.

 

Nothing against your eating habits, but I don't think I could fit well with a very particular vegan or even a vegetarian. It's not that I really mind, but the way I wharf down meat like a barbarian would probably put that girl off. I also like to cook, usually with meat. I wouldn't like it all that much if she refused to eat anything I made for tofu or something. It's a Lebanese thing...we seem to take it as an insult when people won't eat our food. =p

 

And you don't need to be totally against meat to eat healthy and be in great shape.

[Rising]

Just to be clear. When I was imagining a 'picky eater' as I was writing my post I was thinking about the times when I've gone to dinner with a girl and listened to her pick an item off the menu and then spend the next 4 minutes totally changing how its prepared and served.

 

None of the items I mentioned are a clear, definitive identifier for being high maintenance, but they are just signs that I personally look for and have found to go along with that mentality.

[Batya33]

Um, I go hiking several times a year, I've gone camping several times (and would go again), I work my tail off at the gym and let everyone see me sweat in my old t-shirt, old shorts and seltzer bottle filled with water, and I also enjoy those higher end clothes, accessories and jewelry I've purchased with the money I worked for and earned, when I'm in the mood to dress up and because I appreciate well made clothing and accessories.

 

Nothing inconsistent there - just no need to generalize from how a woman dresses whether she also enjoys roughing it.