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Do you give your FWB a present for his/her birthday?


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First of all...I'm not sure if I post in the right forum.


Anyways, I would like to know what should I give for my FWB on his birthday. Or should I not? If I should, what present should I give?

Just a card? Or..?

Some of my friends suggested me to give like a $50 gift card or travel kit.

FYI, I know my dude for about 6 years. We're regular friends, but now we added the 401K benefit..lol


Any ideas/opinions would be greatly appreciated.



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Well the thing is we never really did anything in the past. Birthday was just like another day..lol, nothing special. We're friends but not usually hung out alot like what friends usually do. Now that we're fwb, we are closer and hung out more often. So now when his birthday is coming up, I am actually thinking to give him something but not really sure what.

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I agree with Batya that if this is something you normally did with him before the FWB situation then get him a present...but I gather from the fact that you posted, that exchanging birthday presents was not something you ever did before with him. If you never exchanged gifts before then I would say that a simple card should suffice..after all, the only present he really wants from you is his regular orgasm.

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If you are spending more time together because you're having intercourse, then I wouldn't let that affect whether you get him something for his bday. If you're spending more time together hanging out where you don't have sex and not for the purpose of having sex then you might want to. I wouldn't confuse "being closer" with simply having sex. You might confuse him into thinking you want more than sex. Do you?

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I completely disagree about men and cards - but it might be true that if you give him a romantic card he might get confused since you're just friends who have sex when you're in the mood to have sex. It sounds like you're viewing this as more than a friendship in analyzing what to do about his bday. If last year you would have texted him, do that this year too.

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I think the best thing to do is offer to take him out for his birthday to a nice dinner (on his birthday or some other time). That is less committal than a gift. But if he turns you down it tells you something... he wants this relationship to be strictly IN BED and not for you to get any expectations of him to get too close or too 'date-y'.


Giving birthday presents in itself can be a bit too relationship-y for FWBs, and puts pressure on him to do the same for your birthday, which he may not want if he is trying to keep it casual between you.


If he agrees, then good, and you both have fun and can have some nice FWB birthday action too.

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My dude is always caring with me. Even though we didn't really hang out as much before due to the relationship we had (I mean he and his ex gfs, me and ex bfs). And now that we're a 401K friends, he still treats me the same way. So that's why I was actually thinking of giving him something. Not because I want him to think that I want more than just a friendship though.


Of course i would not give him anything romantic. But as far as I know friends don't always exchange gifts unless good/best friends. And i would think that a simple gift would be appreciated as a nice thought as friends.

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If you're FWB, why couldn't a small gift exchange be considered part of the 401k package?


Only you know the dynamics of your relationship, how close you both are, what kind of person he is and how he'll feel about it, etc.


If I were you, I might get him something small and individualized, something somewhat thoughtful and original, NO card. Like, "I was at the beach and I found the only whole sand dollar there, I want you to have it." It's like, "I was thinking of you but not that much."

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