how to get beyond missing him so much?

[locolady]

Hey i'm really struggling to get over my ex-boyfriend. We split up 9 months ago and I feel ridiculous that im still so desperately unhappy. He broke up with me for someone else and has refused to speak to me since.

 

I went absolutely mental and am struggling with huge guilt and frustration with myself for the way i behaved. I bombarded him with texts and emails because i was so hurt and angry. He wouldnt reply to a thing which simply made me more unhappy. This has caused him to slag me off to all our friends and now i'm suffering the consequences because they all think i'm mental and ridiculous. Im so ashamed and dont know how to move past this, im fixating on it...how do you move past when you know youve done something wrong?

 

I have ruined any future chance of friendship, although i nknow realistically it would have been impossible anyway because he had a new girlfriend immediately. But i feel awful that he thinks i'm utterly worthless and that all our friends think so too.

 

Ive lost everything.

 

I miss him so much i'm physically sick. Im crying night after night until i'#m sick. I yearn for him. No matter how hard I try to see other friends, to keep busy etc, all I want is him. And knowing that all our friends are just carrying on the same, doing the things i want to, but simply with his new girlfriend in my place is killing me.

 

How can I stop wanting him so much? He was everything i wanted and i cant get over it.

 

I am so bitter that his new girlfriend gets everything i had and that i still want more than anything...any advice on how to deal with these feelings?

 

I've made myself look ridiculous to him and to everyone else so no-one misses me, or thinks anything good of me. I'm crippled by self-hatred and regret. Please help me.

 

Thanks

[louhere]

I had been sick with missing him, aching and crippled by it...it has been 14 months since he ended it!!

I realised i should not still be feeling this way so intensely and have been seeing a therapist.

It is not about him its about how you feel about you! It is a lack of self trust and self respect - i needed to deal with the core issue ME now the missing him is far less important. I have become more important in my life than him!

[StillSmiling]

You need to forgive yourself for the crazy things you did when it was falling apart. Trust me, many of us have done the same thing, but you can't change the past.

 

You HAVE NOT lost everything. You are simple a part of a realationship that was not working for both parties.

 

It's time to refocus on YOU and make your own friends and get back out there with being social. Youcan do it once you find back the loveyou need for yourself. You will then feel better and be in a better place for someone new on down the road.

[saturnreturn]

I'm so sorry you are feeling so bad.

How long were you with your boyfriend?

Are you seeing a therapist? If not I think it would help. You need to find a way of letting go of all of these feelings because they are useless in the end... It's the hardest thing in the world, I know, but you have to accept that there are things you cannot change and move on. Easier said than done. But you really have no choice. I think a therapist could help you figure out why you can't move on from this, what is holding you back. It's not about him anymore... It's about you. You are very young and have so much to look forward to.

Hope that helps a little and I wish you all the best. Take care.

[thedon03]

You're not alone. Just hang in there--I physically feel weak and get neaseous sometimes, but I know it will get better.

[cpujunkie]

Your not the only one. At 24 you have plenty of time to get that "happiness" back. Stay strong.

[ghostgirl116]

hey honey... i've done a bit of the crazy myself! and right about at your age. believe me, it really does get better. you will make new friends, and the ones who think you're nuts, well, do you really need them? i mean, were they his friends or your friends?

 

(((())))