boozy12 Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 Okay, heres the story. Been chatting this guy on line for a couple of weeks, get on really well so we arranged to meet. An hour beofre meeting he texts me saying he is too nervous etc and wants to postpone. Im obviously not happy but we chat for ages and I agree to meet him another time, we arrange that night to meet in a few days. The day of the meet up, i text asking if he's still ok to meet and i here nothing! Obviously not happy again, and also a bit worried as i could see he hadnt been on line that day at all which is unusual or him. I get a text in the middle of the night, saying his dad had been rushed to hospital and he'd been there all day.... Ok so Im thinking should i believe him.....I didnt text him as i thought well he obviously has eneough on his plate if what he says is true....I hear from him last night, we chat online for about 3 hours and I agree once again to meet him...arranged to meet for breakfast this morning...and hour before due to meet he texts me again...his dad has taken a turn for the worse and has been back at the hospital all night..... I want to give him the benefit of the doubt....but at the end of the day - I dont know this guy and he could just be stringing me a long.... Should I believe him and give him a fourth chance....? Link to comment
D_Lish Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 The guy could be telling the truth about his dad. You can't not give anyone the benefit of your doubt, until they are proven to be lying....otherwise you are convicting, before they are being found guilty. I think what I would do is, leave it a few more days for another meeting and because of the current situation with his father. I'd arrange another meeting with him for say Wednesday of next week. So yes, I'd give him a fourth chance... Link to comment
Mutley Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 Seems he could take a half hour out of his busy schedule to meet you. I'm skeptical. Sounds like a flake. Link to comment
Loki71 Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 I would just say take care of your dad and text me when everything is ok. Let him set the next day and then if he flakes thats it. Or you could offer to come be support for him while at the hospital and then if he finds away to tell you not to come I would start looking else where. Link to comment
RandomAdvisor Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 Seems he could take a half hour out of his busy schedule to meet you. I'm skeptical. Sounds like a flake. Agreed. It's always a mistake to invest many hours chatting someone up online before you are meeting them in person. You're bound to start building your hopes up and imagine the person is greater than they actually are. I think you should stop talking with the guy completely. Tell him that if he still wants to meet up with you, then he is going to have to be the one accommodating you. It should be at a coffee shop or something near your house so you don't have to travel far, and let him text you once he is there so you can head off and you don't have to waste anymore time waiting on him. You've done enough of that already. Just don't waste anymore time talking to him online, because you don't even know if this is going anywhere with him. Right now it's looking like it's headed no where. Link to comment
bijoux27 Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 So if his dad IS in the hospital...why is it that he can talk to you online for 3 hours and not see you just for breakfast? He's hiding something, maybe he lied about his profile, maybe his dad is or ISN'T in the hospital, but he's definitely trying to buy some time. I think you should just let him make plans with you, let him make it up to you. Link to comment
christinesee Posted July 27, 2008 Share Posted July 27, 2008 The guy could be telling the truth about his dad. You can't not give anyone the benefit of your doubt, until they are proven to be lying....otherwise you are convicting, before they are being found guilty. I think what I would do is, leave it a few more days for another meeting and because of the current situation with his father. I'd arrange another meeting with him for say Wednesday of next week. So yes, I'd give him a fourth chance... I agree with D_Lish. But I would make that fourth meeting a last chance type of thing.. before it becomes possible for you to get lead on. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted July 27, 2008 Share Posted July 27, 2008 I'm not buying it. He could have texted you sometime during the night while he was allegedly at the hospital as opposed to texting you an hour before you are to meet. Interesting how he is always texting you an hour before a meeting to cancel. He sounds fake and probably lives 3000 miles away from you. Link to comment
bijoux27 Posted July 27, 2008 Share Posted July 27, 2008 He sounds fake and probably lives 3000 miles away from you. She'd get long-distance charges. Link to comment
D_Lish Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 He's not that far away from her, if they are able to meet for *breakfast*. Breakfast is the first meal of the day and usually eaten around 8am - 9am in the morning.....sounds to me that he lives close by her. Link to comment
25thfloor Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 Seems he could take a half hour out of his busy schedule to meet you. I'm skeptical. Sounds like a flake. sounds like a flake to me. even when my mom was in the hospital dying, it was nice to have a cup of coffee and some conversation. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 He's not that far away from her, if they are able to meet for *breakfast*. Breakfast is the first meal of the day and usually eaten around 8am - 9am in the morning.....sounds to me that he lives close by her. But he didn't meet her for breakfast or lunch or dinner or drinks or anything......He can say he'll be there for any of those things, doesn't mean he's nearby. Hence why he keeps cancelling, because he's probably a fraud. Link to comment
Stars_n_Guitars Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 sounds to me like he could be married. makin excuses for not meeting. he enjoys the conversation but doesn't want to take it to the next level. After all, he's not cheating if he's only talking to another woman(could be his reasoning)....if this is the case. But what if he's right? I say you don't make another attempt to set up a meeting. If he wants to meet, he'll set something up. Forget about meeting him, push it out of your mind. Hey, that three hours that you talked the night he cancelled, did he talk about his dad??? Link to comment
boozy12 Posted July 28, 2008 Author Share Posted July 28, 2008 Update: Hes' texted a few times over the last couple of days and we chatted online for an hour last night. He lives only about 10 miles away from me. He has chatted a lot about his dad so I think I believe him. Still very skeptical though, as some of you have said - he could spare 10 minutes to meet me - but then again do you want to meet someone for the first time inbetween trips to see your very ill father.... I've backed off completely and only answer his texts when he texts me..I guess I'll just see what happens.... Link to comment
cuteguyinftl Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 okay NO!!! he's playing with you. Okay one time you can understand. A second time you say to yourself okay maybe things are not going so well for him right at this moment. BUT BUT BUT BUT the fourth time. Its obvious that he is a person but he probably doesn't look like anything he sent you or that he is an emotional wreck. Either way. If you want that in your life then try to see him the fifth time. Or you can just be happy with the fact that you will probably see him face to face. Maybe thats the only way he communicates. Just like this website. Nothing wrong with him. Maybe he was sparing you disappointment. Next time you see him online and chat tell him what's going in your mind. What do you have to lose? If he is a great guy like you said and feel connected then maybe you need to let him know that you don't care what he looks like. THat you are above that! Link to comment
D_Lish Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 Still very skeptical though, as some of you have said - he could spare 10 minutes to meet me - but then again do you want to meet someone for the first time inbetween trips to see your very ill father.... Well and to be totally honest, if I had a genuinely very ill parent, the last thing on my mind, would be meeting someone from the net, I'd chatted with for only two weeks. I'd want to be with my ill parent and I owe it to my family to be there if they need me...I owe a person Ive never met in the flesh, nothing! But he says he's up for meeting, hence why I'd suggested, giving him a few more days. But anyway, think you've made the right choice in backing off...let him come to you and he will when he's ready and if he gen wants to meet. But I wouldn't hang around forever waiting on him. If he shows no sign of meeting within a week/fortnight, then you are gonna have to decide what to do from there. Link to comment
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