enola Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 Would you do it? (have you?-how was it?) Please explain your answer. Assume he's good looking, tall, young, funny, smart, ambitious, artistic, has a fashion sense, is a gentlemen, has a *great* sense of humour, gets along with everyone he meets, can put a smile on anyones face in a time of need, is supportive, a good listener, and is actively trying to take off the weight, though it's still clearly there. Well? I'm curious. oh... stories about dating "fat guys" are accepted. Link to comment
soul_soother Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 Well I'm not fat at all... A have about a 1/8 in. layer of chubbyness just enough not to have a 6 pack (no man boobs entached) and I'm losing most of it.. But, my girlfriend is gorgeous and is easily Model material (makes me wonder how I got her...?) and she gets soooo angry if I call myself fat or if I try to lose weight. Weird huh? Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 If he's all those things you mention? Shoots! Where is he? Sounds like he belongs on a white horse (even if the horse may need a bit of a strong back!) Of course, I will state the caveat that it also depends HOW overweight he is. I can stand a good amount of extra poundage (especially if he's trying as you say to work on his weight problem and we share a desire for healthy living), but frank obesity would be a bit much for me. I wouldn't know about "dating" a "fat guy", but I can tell you that my longest relationship was with a guy who was of considerable girth. He was not OBESE, but he was...rotund. I never felt physically attracted to him, not during the entire course of our relationship, with the exception of a few fleeting phases. There were many reasons I was with him -- none of them solid or good ones -- and it's quite fair to say that the lack of physical attraction was an extension of my feeling emotionally drained and turned off by aspects of his personality, not his weight. I'm a single now, and have had a few guys interested in me and none of them have felt like relationship material to me...that is, with the exception of a guy who caught my fancy at a concert some months ago. He was outgoing and sweet, with a gentlemanly demeanor and had a very pleasant face. He was on the heavy side though -- and it didn't matter to me at all, really. He just seemed so nice. We were mutually chatting eachother up and he gave me his phone number...and after much anguished deliberation, I gave it a go. Phoned him up and before long, was launched full throttle into a conversation about his literal interpretations about the Bible and Hell. That was the end of that. Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 Well I'm not fat at all... A have about a 1/8 in. layer of chubbyness just enough not to have a 6 pack (no man boobs entached) and I'm losing most of it..Weird huh? That's sexy in my opinion. It's waaaay more sweet to have that little bit of "squish" over the muscles than just a pile of rocks. Link to comment
soul_soother Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 ya she said it's comfy so when she lays her head on my stomach she feels safe Link to comment
soul_soother Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 But how about this... As a dude... And I'm not fugly or anything and I'm not Brad Pitt either.. I don't mind a girl who's midly over weight... now if your talking like 60+ lbs then come on now.. Obesity is a hard thing to deal with, and even if I was physically attractive most obese girls are very emotional about their weight which can flare up problems in a relationship.. My current lady is tooth pick thin, or very close to it, and i would love if she gained a good 20 lbs.. I do believe in a 100% that even if a guy is completely sweet and loving that their has to be a physical attraction between the two. Link to comment
AnotherBrokenDoll Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 Soul searcher i agree completely. But at the same point i think that if you really are attracted to someone, you will be able to see that person differently to others. Perhaps love their imperfections. Of course maybe not straight away but after a while at least. Perhaps thats just me being naive.. Though i agree 100% with you on the emotional part. If the guy is confident and happy with himself he will seem alot more attractive. But the same guy could be seen in such a bad light if his constantly down on himself and appears negative. Its all about the frame of mind. Link to comment
RockabillyLove Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 I met my husband when we were 15, and he was a biiggg boy. He's slimmer now, 6 years on, but still is considered fat. I don't care, he's the sexiest man I've ever seen. All the girls at school used to tease the hell out of him for his weight but I loved him, and love him all the same. He's the best man in the universe. Link to comment
Amore Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 I actually MUCH prefer a guy with a little bit of "chubbiness" than to a chiseled, muscled body. I'm not fat, in fact, I'm probably considered underweight, but I've suffered from body image issues since middle school. If I'm with a guy with a near perfect body, I will be extremely insecure with myself and not enjoy anything. Link to comment
starlight40 Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 I love a nice toned up guy but other than that it would depend for me how 'fat' the person was....i actually like a bit of weight on a guy but not too much, dont even mind over weight and untoned but i find skinny men an absolute turn off. Link to comment
InvisibleWound Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 When I was a kid was I skinny, then slowly started putting on weight, to the point that I was chubby and eventualy overweight a bit. I have always had weght issues, I had lost some weight a few years ago but then put it back on plus some extra pounds. Personally because of my weight I feel more comfortable around guys who are also chubbyish. Every guy prior to my current boyfriend was skinny, 2 were underweight. There was one that was muscular and worked out often, I was attracted to him probably the most because he had a hard body, though he was thinner then me, but then he got a bit bigger muscle wise and my attraction went down for him some. My current boyfriend is tall and overweight, he has been for quite some time. He said in high school he did not weigh as much but eatng fast food slowly put some extra pounds on him. I don't mind his weight. There was the odd time I got turned off by it. But I love him the way he is and ussually am cool about it. He likes that I am overweight as well, he said he was not into dating toothpicks, so that kinda made me feel good. Link to comment
TheSmilingTurnip Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 It depends on how overweight the person is and whether their extra weight is accompanied by the personality characteristics of compulsive overeating. I dated a guy who was overweight for a while, but he was like really overweight. It was plain that he was a COE and once I figured that out, that was all she wrote. Typically if someone is really really overweight, they have an eating disorder. My current boyfriend is thin but with a little extra on his tummy and I just looooove that. The pad on the six pack is awesome. Plus you need some butt. Definitely a plus. The body is less important than the personality for me. The body can change but many times the personality is here to stay. Link to comment
rikka Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 All but one of my boyfriends have been "fat". None have been obese or grossly overweight - but they have always been on the larger side. And it has never bothered me. It is nice to cuddle with at the end of the day. As other posters have said, there are other qualifiers to it. He does lead a healthy, active life. He isn't an overeater. He takes great pride and care in his appearance. There is so much about him that I enjoy and adore - it is all part of his total package. Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 well, my take is this..... I'm a member of weight watchers, so I've been on both sides - the overweight and the normal size. currently, i'm a lifetime member of weight watchers, lost 30 lbs, trying to lose another 15 (but where i am now, i am currently considered in my healthy weight range, i just want to get to the bottom of it). If the guy is actively trying to lose weight and have a healthy lifestyle, i think we might be compatible. when looking for a life partner, I'd want someone who shares a committment to having a healthy lifestyle, vs. a couch-potato lifestyle. I'm not attracted to obese men, but if he has a good personality and a good heart, that would count for a lot. I'm especially not attracted to obese men who make comments about a bit of chub on me. I don't like hypocrites. Link to comment
lifeiscash Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 First impression would be a turn off. She would think to herself.. well if he is fat then he most likely is a lousy guy who can't pick up his house and his bed is never made. If his bed is never made then his clothes will always be wrinkled and what would my girlfriends think if I brought him out and he was a complete mess. He most likely wouldn't drive a nice car and he wouldn't have great manners, ect, ect. However, there are always exceptions. You can be fat but if you come accross as confident and have a great sense of humor and not intimidated by things, it wouldn't matter. OR if the woman judging him is fat, and we all know fat women just aren't plain attractive with their looks. BTW if your fat, do something about it. Have enough self respect and get that issue handled with yourself, you deserve it. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 I actually am more attracted to the "stocky" body type. It's not mandatory, but just based on pure looks, that's what I go for. But the most important thing is that he exercises and tries to eat healthy, no matter what size he is. Link to comment
lady00 Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 I'm not sure what I would think as my past dates have been fit, except for one, who had some extra weight (he turned me off for unrelated reasons). The 'actively trying to lose weight' part would probably be important to me. I met a great guy recently. We could not have had a relationship because it would have ended up being long-distance (he was moving abroad) and for me the distance would have been too much. Aside from that though, his weight was an issue for me. He made no attempt to lose it. It did turn me off. I was not physically attracted mainly because of that. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 I dated an obese man for about 5 months (he ended it) who I was attracted to. However, his weight problem worried me - his breathing seemed to be affected, etc and he had pretty serious emotional issues about food, as well as physical issues from the extra weight. I worried about our future because of that. He was on a very strict diet shortly after we started dating and lost about 30 pounds that summer, another 30 or so after we broke up. I thought he looked better heavier! I do know he is a yo yo dieter which is very unhealthy too. I think he ended up gaining back most of it. Link to comment
dragon lady Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 First impression would be a turn off. She would think to herself.. well if he is fat then he most likely is a lousy guy who can't pick up his house and his bed is never made. If his bed is never made then his clothes will always be wrinkled and what would my girlfriends think if I brought him out and he was a complete mess. He most likely wouldn't drive a nice car and he wouldn't have great manners, ect, ect. Where did that come from? Link to comment
lady00 Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 Where did that come from? I think some people have this bias--they make a whole host of assumptions about a person's lifestyle and assume they are lazy/sloppy based on their weight. I wouldn't be surprised if some women would be turned off because they assume that being overweight is accompanied by a whole host of negative traits. Link to comment
ProtestTheHero Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 Where did that come from? Lifeiscash is correct, it's an assumption that many people would make. Substitute fat with glasses = nerd, or long hair = slob, etc. etc. etc. Link to comment
Carmine Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 I don't have much sympathy (or empathy rather) for overweight people. I was once very overweight. My body fat % was almost 33%. As Ben Stiller said in Dodgeball, "we understand that ugliness and fatness are genetic disorders, much like baldness or necrophilia, and it's only your fault if you don't hate yourself enough to do something about it." =p I didn't like who I was, so I took action to change myself. Anyone can take that action if they wanted to. If they're not doing it then they're just lazy or not disciplined enough. Whenever I see a guy out of shape with a hot girl, I make sure to flirt with her big time. Gotta let her know that she can do better. Link to comment
TheSmilingTurnip Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 I don't have much sympathy (or empathy rather) for overweight people. I was once very overweight. My body fat % was almost 33%. As Ben Stiller said in Dodgeball, "we understand that ugliness and fatness are genetic disorders, much like baldness or necrophilia, and it's only your fault if you don't hate yourself enough to do something about it." =p I didn't like who I was, so I took action to change myself. Anyone can take that action if they wanted to. If they're not doing it then they're just lazy or not disciplined enough. Whenever I see a guy out of shape with a hot girl, I make sure to flirt with her big time. Gotta let her know that she can do better. Oh lord, someone who lost weight and now thinks they can sit in the seat of judgment. If you once were overweight and you've lost your weight, good for you, but keep your judgments to yourself. Weight loss does not qualify you for that job. People do not stay fat out of pure laziness. When it comes to discipline - I believe you do have a point. Regardless, they are still human beings no matter what. We have no right to make broad character assessments on people based on their outward appearance. Link to comment
bijoux27 Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 My SO is 6' and about 188 pounds...he calls himself fat and although he's not very muscular - I think he's soooooooooo hotttttttt. I love his body the way it is. I really don't mind a bit of tummy or a little bit of extra weight, as long as it's not too much (I'm skinny myself) so that he's really overweight or obese. Health is important. I like the extra cushioning on him, lol. Link to comment
ConfusedDater Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 The Main Point here is if someone is EXTREMELY OVERWEIGHT then there of finding a companion will be low. That's the bottom line, at the end of the day SIZE still matters Link to comment
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