What is "normal"?

[dibo80]

I'm wondering what a "normal" relationship is like. I'd like to believe that my relationship is normal, but all of my friends have relationships that seem to be abnormal, as far as stupid girls staying with guys that don't deserve them. So I have nothing to compare my relationship to.

 

I had written another post about my insecurities, and I'm still having them and I don't know how to help myself. Like this morning, my boyfriend was in a super-bad mood and "didn't want to talk about it"...so I automatically assumed he was pissed at me about something. A few hours later he called and he was so angry, he was yelling at me about - not me - but someone he works with and how horrible they treated him and some argument they had last night (he works nightshift). It still doesn't make me feel any better, because he is really upset, he finally found a job he enjoys and the people he has to work with are horrible, now he said he doesn't know if he even wants to get together tomorrow (his only day off this week), and I don't want to be selfish, I know he's tired from working all week and then having to deal with people, but I know it's going to be hard for me not to be b*tchy towards him and just say "it's okay" when I'm so mad because I barely see him or talk to him, and he promised to take me to the movies this weekend. I talk to him anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour everyday and that's it, so we have very little daily contact, let alone face to face time. We've been seeing each other at least once a week, but it has been really hard.

 

I just feel like I cause drama over nothing and I'm terrified of my boyfriend being mad at me. My relationship with him is one of the only stable things I have right now, everything else in my life isn't going too great. I guess it also doesn't help that I have LOADS of free time. The thing is though, when I'm with other people, I have a hard time not thinking about him, and even today, I spent the day with my cousin (my grandma passed away and her funeral was yesterday so I took off work today too specifically to spend with my cousin) and I just wanted me cousin to go home so I could be alone.

 

It's like my boyfriend is the only person I really want to be around, and I barely get the opportunity to. I guess I'm upset that we might not go to the movies tomorrow, even though I'm sure we probably will (at least get together), because my boyfriend hates dissappointing me and hates to break a promise (even one as unimportant as seeing a movie).

[bijoux27]

You just gotta be patient. Especially when guys have work stress. Sounds like you two have a good thing, and you don't want to ruin that by bringing drama into it. Just stick it out for a while until he fixes his work situation.

[girl68]

I'm terrified of my boyfriend being mad at me.

 

You've got to get over this one. Sure you can try and right your own wrongs but to be scared that he's going to get mad at you- that is not "normal". In fact he's not even mad at you! You're mad at him- for being a little pissy!

Just let him call you if you dont' want to make him hang out with you then let him call you when he wants to.

 

If you can't deal with him working and being unavailable then it's your choice: stay or leave.

[dibo80]

Thank you both for telling me exactly what I need to hear!

[John Bendix]

Why do you need to compare your relationship with anyone else's?

 

My X did this for years and it drove her crazy. Her friends would tell her how their husbands were great to them, did this when they asked, they were kept in line, etc. I knew all of them for 20 years and that was not true. Again, it is all talk of the ego. Same goes for creating drama. The less of it the better.

 

If your entourage of friends all have the same relationships with their boyfriends, I would indeed be surprised. But this is just talk anyway. Have the relationship with your boyfriend as it seems fit to you and him.

[dibo80]

Hey, just to let anyone know, I was being overdramatic, again. My boyfriend did take me out and I had a great time. I know I'm still going to have these feelings of insecurity, but I really want to get over them. I just have no idea what to do and how to get over this way of thinking.