My ex is confusing me so much

[jd21]

My ex and I had been dating for almost 3 years. He broke up with me about 3 months ago, saying that he didn't want a serius, committed relationship right now and that he doesn't want either of us to ever regret never being single in college. We are both young - 20 years old - and I basically think that our relationship got too serious too young and it scared him. We had an amazing relationship so it came as a shock to me. Right after the break up, I of course begged and pleaded with him. I wrote him a long letter just pouring ouyt my heart to him. He said he loves me very much and still has strong feelings for me but he thinks this is the right thing to do for now. He said that we never know what can happen in the future between us. I was very hurt and did the whole no contact thing. I can't explain how hard it was but I did it. It has been about a month and a half since I contacted him. Lately he has been iming me, just asking how I'm doing. Our conversations never get into us, just friendly talk. What confusues me is that my best friend saw him holding hands with a girl very recently so he obviosuy seems to be involved with someone else. This was hurtful enough since I don't understand how he can move on so quickly after what we had. Why now would he contact me? I don't know whether to tell him that it's hard for me when we talk because I still have very strong feelings for him and ask him not to contact me, or just continue the no contact on my part and if he happens to contact me, just be friendly. I don't know what would increase our chances most of getting back together in the future. I'm afraid if I ask him not to contact me then it'll ruin any future chance of us working out. I also don't understand why now that there's another girl in the picture he is still contacting me. I'm just confused. Any advice would be so incredibly helpful to me.

[jd21]

There's a little bit more to the story that I forgot to include. I was convinced that my ex had imed me to tell me about the girl my best friend saw him with. He obviously knew it would get back to me so I thought that that was the reason for contacting me. When we were ending the conversation and it was clear that he was not going to bring it up, I was too curious and asked him about it. I didn't know if I should but I did. I told him that I wanted to ask him about something I heard about him and a girl. He responded huh? And I said I heard something about you and another girl and I thought that was why you imed me but you don't have to tell me. He then responded that he wasn't following and that he imed me because he wanted to say hey. I said just forget it and nevermind because I didn't want to push it. Why didn't he understand what I was talking about? And was it ok that I brought it up?

[atticus]

it's possible that he's doing the thing with the other girl, to help him move on... as he said, he wants to be single in college.... maybe he still feels for you so much, that he uses every chance he gets to get you out of the head.... and he said he wants to be single in college... well, i guess he wants to use his time, and be single for as long as possible..

 

it's not easy dating people when you still love another person, thereforeeee it's possible that he wants his intimate love for you to fade, so he can date other girls, while being in college..

 

the contact, thing, he might still contact you, to not lose you, he might want to keep a bond between the two of you, for the future...

 

that was my prediction. hope you'll feel a bit better.

 

good luck.