S agapo Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 When they let goed of you and they don't show any effort or interest in you afterwards, and they just disappear from site, from your life.... They just ignore you 100% Do you think they ever really truly cared for you in the first place. Not just talking about if they maybe loved you, or just liked you... Did they REALLY care about you and the relationship and were honest to themselves and to you ? Yes () - In the middle () + In the middle () No () Link to comment
redtan Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 People change, and if they were with you for however long then yes they cared. Just that something (or someone) changed their mind. I doubt someone will stay with a person for years and years and not care at all. Link to comment
Massari Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 I say no,, because I had to break up once, but i did it cause she cheated on me, i tried talking to her and getting back together but i couldn't forgive her, but i tried since i loved her, my last relationship however when my ex broke up with me she didn't even bother talking to me about it, so i know she didn't give a ***. lol and she didn't truly love me. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 That's a really tough question. You might hate this answer, but it's my genuine one. It really depends on the person and the situation. Link to comment
maka56 Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 To be honest no one will ever know unless you could get inside of there head, but me personally I don't think she cared for me the way I did her, and it began to show in the last few weeks of our relasionship. Sure she cried when she dumped me but was that because she loved me or was it just the fact of losing a boyfriend who treated her so well?. Also being told im not that special told me how nasty a girl can be. That I will never know. Link to comment
Stella Sleepwalks Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Did he love me? = YES Did he care about the relationship? = YES Did he show me he loved me? = NO Did he contibute to the relationship? = NO BUT Is he making an effort now? = Not as much as I want him to, but he's getting there. Will I put up with his crap again? = HELL NO!!!!! Link to comment
S agapo Posted July 25, 2008 Author Share Posted July 25, 2008 That's a really tough question. You might hate this answer, but it's my genuine one. It really depends on the person and the situation. What about for you? Do u think they did?, its a general question for all aswell! Link to comment
maka56 Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Using stellas guide *thanks stella!" I can answer better Did she love me? = YES Did she care about the relationship? = YES and NO at the start she did then went downhill...... Did she show me she loved me? = NO and Yes not very often Did she contibute to the relationship? = NO Will I put up with his crap again? = HELL NO!!!!! Link to comment
S agapo Posted July 25, 2008 Author Share Posted July 25, 2008 For me maybe he did like me but wasn't enough, did't love me I don't think (well didn't say anyways or let me know). We dated for 11months in a ldr, I was very much serious about him and knew what I wanted. With him, there were times I wasn't sure how he felt for me... I kinda always felt something was holding him back.. personal issues or lack of interest maybe. I don't think he knew what he wanted, and if it was with me, otherwise he would not have let go so easy. Hasn't been in contact since (14monthsbroken up) or knows who I am anymore. Hasn't shown his face! So I guess he didn't care that much regardless how I reacted to the break-up Link to comment
S agapo Posted July 25, 2008 Author Share Posted July 25, 2008 Did he love me? = YES Did he care about the relationship? = YES Did he show me he loved me? = NO Did he contibute to the relationship? = NO BUT Is he making an effort now? = Not as much as I want him to, but he's getting there. Will I put up with his crap again? = HELL NO!!!!! Least you are both giving eachother another chance! Give ur relationship a fresh start. Sometimes more then often, I wonder why mine hasn't bothered to contact me proper and wana reconcile; try again! Link to comment
25thfloor Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 When they let goed of you and they don't show any effort or interest in you afterwards, and they just disappear from site, from your life.... They just ignore you 100% Do you think they ever really truly cared for you in the first place. Not just talking about if they maybe loved you, or just liked you... Did they REALLY care about you and the relationship and were honest to themselves and to you ? Yes () - In the middle () + In the middle () No () absolutely. folks change as do their feelings. everything is not meant to be forever. some folks are just supposed to come into our lives and then go. Link to comment
Daddy Bear Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 My honest belief is that she truly expected the feelings of those she's walled off to somehow diminish with time. She was the master of self-deception in not privately acknowledging the uniquely beautiful heart in herself that I knew so well and in underestimating how important she was in lives that she graced with her touch. I wish that she had been given a fair lot in her formative years and I hope that she's learned to give herself even a tenth of the love that she once showered on me; a love off the charts that I willingly, if clumsily, returned in full. Despite the mistakes we made, despite her denial, despite even the never-ending asphyxiating silence that stretches ahead, that love is something I'll carry with me to the end of my days. God, oh God, why do I feel like I just delivered a eulogy? Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 I guess it depends on the person. Just because someone breaks up with you doesn't mean they never loved you. Sometimes the relationship just ran its course because although they loved you, it was not enough to make it through the long haul. On the other hand, just because a couple stays together forever and ever, doesn't mean they love or care about each other. Every situation is different and you can't make blanket statements. Link to comment
S agapo Posted July 28, 2008 Author Share Posted July 28, 2008 I guess it depends on the person. Just because someone breaks up with you doesn't mean they never loved you. Sometimes the relationship just ran its course because although they loved you, it was not enough to make it through the long haul. On the other hand, just because a couple stays together forever and ever, doesn't mean they love or care about each other. Every situation is different and you can't make blanket statements. I just don't agree with some people changing their minds just like that after giving hope to the other bcos I feel that is giving false hope and feelings too. And I think I will always wonder what men really want from a woman where the opportunity to have a wonderful, loving caring person in their life and to have a good successful relationship for the long haul. I know I am a woman who can give all that and mean it. Its just damn well hard to find that someone to get to know and grow feelings for. And when I did, I gave him a gift that I thought would never happen for me; and it was for the first time! He had me in his palm of his hand. This is what I don't get. I know I am a attractive good woman. But now, I feel that this is not what men want in general, and at a certain degree it has lowered my confidence and lowered my trust. But when they don't even contact you properly or at all after the breakup, then did they really truly care? Bcos they have disapeared from our lifes as if it was made easy for them. Easy for them to forget us and move on. And yes, it has eaten me away with the thought that there is a man who I truly had feelings for and there will be a woman that will make him think he is better of and happy, and he will try to make it work. Now I know what he meant when he said to me, go with the flow. I think if I do meet someone, I will try and go with that attitude. Link to comment
Kahdeksan Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 Now I know what he meant when he said to me' date=' go with the flow. I think [i']if[/i] I do meet someone, I will try and go with that attitude. Be the better person by being you, and not going with the flow... Sure it hurts when he left you, but by being who you are as opposed to going with the 'flow' you WILL find someone one day who will be who they are, someone special to you who will appreciate you! Your ex is a BIG jerk, no questions about that, but not everyone is like him... You however, should be, and remain being who you are with a new set of guidelines in tow. You're wiser now, so use that for your own benefit of looking for the right guy instead of being bitter... Accept it, learn from it by becoming a better person. Not questioning love too much... as that can and will bring the best and worse out of us. Link to comment
S agapo Posted July 29, 2008 Author Share Posted July 29, 2008 Be the better person by being you, and not going with the flow... Sure it hurts when he left you, but by being who you are as opposed to going with the 'flow' you WILL find someone one day who will be who they are, someone special to you who will appreciate you! Your ex is a BIG jerk, no questions about that, but not everyone is like him... You however, should be, and remain being who you are with a new set of guidelines in tow. You're wiser now, so use that for your own benefit of looking for the right guy instead of being bitter... Accept it, learn from it by becoming a better person. Not questioning love too much... as that can and will bring the best and worse out of us. I now understand that people handle breakups in every different ways and directions. He handled his the way he thought was right, and I handled the way I thought was right (thru panic) Yes, he kinda did dis-respect my feelings at the end during the break up and didn't give thought to talk to me and face me. And what ever fear he had if any, he didn't want to face the music bcos I made it clear to him I was deeply hurt. I didn't expect any of this him at all. These situations bring out the worse in people when hurt is felt. I really miss him, and still think about us and that puts a sad smile on my face becos outside all this, he did treat me well b4 the troubles even tho I did feel there were small doubts how he felt in the relationship. But I gave him time.... I thought I did found my piece of heaven when I met him. I wonder if he understood that; that my feelings for him were for real. I think about him everyday, almost every moment. I wonder if he does for me now and again. Damn it, I was a good woman for him! Link to comment
Torchwood Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 Wow. That describes my situation to a T. My BF dumped me 10 days ago and refuses to explain why. He just won't talk to me. I have gone NC and basically written it off, but I do wonder, A LOT, if he really cared at all. All I know is it hurts immensely. Link to comment
SchecterGuy Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 My ex loved me to death. Problem was there was also a lot of codependency from her part. She needed to be in a situation where she did not need me. The conditions leading up to the breakup would not allow that. So she went elsewhere where she did not have to be dependent on me. Sucks it worked that way. The reality said the relationship was one sided. It was bad for me because it put the burden on me to always make her happy. Bad for her because she started seeing me more of a father figure than a boyfriend. It was difficult to accept as well as grow out of. Link to comment
exploding head Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 In my case, I was shocked at how my ex became another person in the matter of one week. I have had to tell her to stop the defenses and talk to me like your partner rather then a defendant. It's so hard. That love just stopped for me. I couldnt believe it. And now im here, burning out. Link to comment
Nearwater Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 same same for me. One week she was away and it was " baby I miss you, can't wait to come home" then it was goodbye, don't know what I want and she was cheating with a married man. Like zombies took control. i will never understand it as long as I live. Link to comment
lostnva Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 My example Thursday night (6 weeks ago)...Hes crying, holding me and telling me I love you so much, and I cant imagine my life without you. Tears just flowing! Sunday night...small argument. He left with some clothes...hadnt been back but twice since then. (brief visits to bring dog food) Still hasnt talked to me about anything...other than to tell hes depressed and needs space. Still hasnt moved out...we have house together. I own it, but ALL of his stuff is here...as we moved in the house together. We were engaged, togther for 4 years. Now he wont speak to me at all! And has said really hurtful things that I know was out of anger! WHY???????? I did nothing! Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Be the better person by being you, and not going with the flow... Sure it hurts when he left you, but by being who you are as opposed to going with the 'flow' you WILL find someone one day who will be who they are, someone special to you who will appreciate you! Your ex is a BIG jerk, no questions about that, but not everyone is like him... You however, should be, and remain being who you are with a new set of guidelines in tow. You're wiser now, so use that for your own benefit of looking for the right guy instead of being bitter... Accept it, learn from it by becoming a better person. Not questioning love too much... as that can and will bring the best and worse out of us. Very well said. I absolutely agree. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 It is no point hashing and re-hashing what happened. It is over and done with and he has made no effort to make amends. You need to stop mulling things over and start living your life. You can't change anything...as much as you would like to, it takes two to rebuild a relationship. If he is not approaching you then the best you can do is move forward with your life. Link to comment
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