Hemorrhage Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 You'd figure it would be the guy being the one to discard sexual protection while the girl would encourage it. This time the role is reversed. I've been dating my current girlfriend for a little over 5 months now. We generally have a good relationship, and there isn't any sexual pressure on either of us. I'm not much of an advocate for absitnence, but being a teenager I know the horrific risks of sexual intercourse. My girlfriend and I lately have been getting into deep make out periods that most of the time lead to the big ? of sex. It's a very frustrating both physically and intellectually for us and it has led to outburts on both of our parts. Being a male, I am left for dead while also being aroused. It's not fun at all, but I will absolutely not agree to engage further until I have taken all the necessary precautions. My girlfriend is something else on the subject. Like myself, she is also left for dead while aroused, but she REFUSES to use protection and I never get a clear answer from her as to why she refuses it. She either ignores me until I bring up something else, or mumbles something incoherent and looks away like a spoiled brat and it's unbelieveably infuriating! I'm not sure if she WANTS to get pregnant, or a sexually transmitted disease but I would like a straight answer from her. I don't want to break up with her because of sex, or lack of, because she is a genuine girl outside of this subject. She is complaining about the lack of sex we're having, but won't oblige to protection! Any insight on this situation would be much appreciated. Hemorrhage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel_baby Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 You are doing the right thing in insisting on protection and discussing this with her. Don't back down on this. You both have a big future ahead of both of you and to have a baby now would really bring things to a halt. The pulling out method does NOT work. And also like you brought up, STD's are nothing to take lightly. My advice is to sit down and have a serious conversation about why she is refusing the use of any protection. Tell her how important that protection is to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catdancer Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 I used to be a teenager too, believe it or not, and looking back, my thinking and reasoning was, shall we say, asinine. LOL My point is that this girl may think she's in love with you, obessesed with being with you and always being your girlfriend. So in her head she may be thinking, if I get pregnant, I'll always have him. She isnt old enough and mature enough to rationalize the consequences and look to the future. Teenagers live for the "right now" with no regard to 5 years from now. I tried this same thing too, I was only EXTREMELY luck that I did not end up pregnant, because my bf gave in to me and we didnt use protection. I commend you for respecting yourself and her and for your mature and thoughtful thinking. Not many teens would have the presense of mind to resist sex to protect themselves. This speaks alot of your character and integrity. Stick to your guns and dont ever compromise your ethics and beliefs for anyone. You are to be respected. As to your situation, I think you aleady know what to do. Give her an ultimatum and explain that you like/love for who she is and you want to spend time growing together and getting to know her as a person before you think about babies. Tell her that you really want to make love with her and enjoy her without the worry of pregnancy. Good luck to you. You have a good head on your shoulders and I respect you for sticking to your belief. Cat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greensleeves Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 You are being very responsible and smart. Your girlfriend may want to get pregnant, which unfortunately is something alot of teenage girls seem to want. They think it will be "fun" and want to play house. Thankfully, you realize that there's much more to it than that. Stick with what you're doing. If she refuses to discuss it with you, I think it might be time for you to move on and look for a girlfriend who shares the same level of maturity that you you have. She's being completely irresponsible and childish....not the traits of someone who is ready to have a baby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LYC Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Is she allergic to latex or Nonoxynol-9? Nonoxynol-9 is the ingredient in Spermicides and some condoms (condoms that have spermicide on them). And it hurts really bad when you have sex while using one of these things. She could be embarrassed to tell you for some reason? BUT, at any rate, it is not a wise decision on her part to just want to have sex without any type of protection. Instead of letting her get by on one her mumbled excuses or changing the subject, make her answer you straight up until you are sure you understand her reasoning. (but that doesnt mean you have to agree with it) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hemorrhage Posted July 25, 2008 Author Share Posted July 25, 2008 I sat down with her and I finally pryed an answer from her, which in my opinion is absolutely ridiculous. Quoted from her: "I just don't believe in it! Okay? If I get pregnant I get pregnant. It's a blessing, you make it sound like it's something awful." Not entirely sure what to think of that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greensleeves Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 At 17 at least one of you realizes you're far too young to have a child. Honestly, if I were you, I'd give serious thought as to whether or not you really want to continue this relationship. Think about it....when do you think you might be ready for children...26, 28, 30? That's an awfully long time to go without having sex. Someone else on this thread made the comment that withdrawal doesn't work....it doesn't, so please keep that in mind. I think she has a really childish and misguided attitude about it all. I hope you'll start dating other girls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taomagicdragon Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 I sat down with her and I finally pryed an answer from her, which in my opinion is absolutely ridiculous. Quoted from her: "I just don't believe in it! Okay? If I get pregnant I get pregnant. It's a blessing, you make it sound like it's something awful." Not entirely sure what to think of that... It's a religious point of view, likely catholic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greensleeves Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 Don't Catholics also (supposedly) frown on premarital sex though? This girl seems to want the sex, just not contraception. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocolate-cake Posted July 27, 2008 Share Posted July 27, 2008 The girl is rediculous, i hope u told her ur too young for a child and how do you expect to raise it after being age 17 and together for only 5months!??? I would stop all sexual contact to show her ur serious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ljoy74 Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 Protection is a really serious thing and I'm so glad to see it's a guy who's realizing it! Your girlfriend shouldn't have an excuse for not wanting to use protection. I'll admit my boyfriend and I skipped condoms a lot (alot like we used one ONCE out of the hundreds of times we had sex, DO NOT DO THIS). We skipped condoms because sex wasn't enjoyable for either of us with them but I was religiously on birth control. By religiously I mean every morning, same time. If I forgot a single pill we'd skip sex for a few weeks because we knew while we had a plan incase we did get pregnant, it's not what we wanted or needed. I'd also been on the pill for several months before we decided it was safe for us to even have sex. It was a heavily weighed decision. Please do not fall to your girls selfish requests for not using protection. It's not worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bertdru Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 Hey ljoy74, so is it enough if the woman takes the pill regularly? What is chance of pregnancy if the pill is taken regularly? And how do you know what pill to take? I am a virgin so please explain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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