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Boyfriend cheating again???

h0pelessr0mantic

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h0pelessr0mantic Contributor

h0pelessr0mantic

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I caught my boyfriend cheating on me about a month ago (meeting people off the internet). Recently he has been surprisingly nice to me and not bugging me to come over everyday (which is very hard because i work full time and go to school and he lives over an hour away from me). So today i tried to call him and no one was home. About 2 hours later he picks up his phone and claims he was home all along and his mom left the phone off the hook. problem is...whenever his phone is off the hook (aka in use) the message states "the party you are calling is busy, please try ur call again". When the phone is not in use the message goes "the party u are calling is currently UNAVAILABLE...." So for the whole two hours it was "the party u are calling is currently unavailable". Now tonight it is his friends birthday and he was hanging out with his friend. He said all they were doing was hanging around his building with a bunch of friends and that he was going to call me at 11:30 pm. Well his friends phone is off (my boyfriend doesn't have a cell phone) and i still have not had any phone call. I don't understand why he can't call me since he lives in a condo complex and his friend lives in the same condo as he does...and he lives on the FIRST FLOOR. meaning all he would have to do is walk a few steps to his friends house and use his house phone or he could call from the conceirge. Also alot of the people he says he is hanging out with have CELL PHONES. I have no idea what is going on. should i be suspicious?

 

Ok so here is the update:

He finally calls me at 3:30 am, he is drunk and has no explination as to why he didn't call. He says he forgot. Then this morning he calls me again, demanding that i come over to his house. I say that he should apologize for not calling me and completely disappearing on me (and it makes no sense since he said he was at a net cafe the whole night...which means he could have called or e-mailed at least). And then he jokingly said "sorry ur such an idi0t". So i get upset and tell him that he really made me angry and asked him how he would like it if i did the same. He said that i wasn't allowed to because guys and girls have different rules when it comes to relationships and guys should be allowed more freedoms. Then he once again demanded that i go and see him. I said: "i'll think about it" then he said "how about i think about giving u a slap accross the face?" then i said: " go ahead and think about it". and hung up.

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Jelina Apprentice

Jelina

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I think you have a right to think that he might be cheating, but at the same time he did cheat on you a month ago and I'm guessing you forgave him because you are still with him.

 

If you forgave him you have to look past this. If he is willing to regain your trust then you should make it clear to him that the way he is acting is very shady. If he continues to act this way then he is making it clear to you that he doesn't care and thereforee again you have to wonder if he is cheating again.

 

If you think you have no capacity to trust him ever again, no matter what he does to change, then you should end the relationship. If I were you though I would have ended it when I found out he was cheating the first time.....

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Rising Rookie

Rising

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Is this the kind of relationship you can be happy in? It seems like there is little trust for him on your part (and for good reasons). Do you want to be the girl thats always wondering what hes up to? Who hes with? Whether he's lying to you?

 

You shouldn't have to try and pinpoint his whereabouts with a cell phone or wonder if he's with some other girl. It's not fair to you and likely causing you stress and doubts.

 

If it were me I'd be done with it, but you gotta see if its worth it to you to keep giving him that trust and if so, just hope for the best.

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Angel_baby Enthusiast

Angel_baby

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If he is trying to build trust back up from his past cheating... he isn't doing a very good job at it. You shouldn't have to totally stress about where he is at, he should be trying to repair what he damaged.

 

It just sounds like he knows he got off the hook a month ago, why should he worry.

 

I would honestly think long and hard about whether you want to be in a unhappy relationship like this. Life is to short to be unhappy.

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nicschic Rookie

nicschic

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I'm a firm believer in once a cheater always a cheater.. especially in a long distance relationship.

 

If he's not bugging for you to come over there then maybe he has someone else coming over there. Is he worth it? Is he worth the stress if he won't even call you when he says it? Is he worth the gas money at this point?

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summerpeach Contributor

summerpeach

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what you are feeling is called "the crazies"

One goes into it after being decieved.

 

When my ex cheated, I took him back and every time somethng "odd" came up, I assumed he was cheating again. I would be at his house and look through his garbage, or in his car and look through the console.

I'm a grown woman who never snooped or was suspicious of my ex of 11 yrs before him.

I went into the "crazies"

 

it was not worth it.........He cheated on me again and left me. What a jerk I was

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h0pelessr0mantic Contributor

h0pelessr0mantic

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We broke up for a short while, but then he called me and apologized, i listened and forgave. I always give people the benifit of the doubt and sp here i am...again. I really hate the situation i'm in, i constantly feel upset, angry and worried because he always disappears on me. And i tell him...all it takes is a simple 5 second phone call so that i'm not going crazy wondering where he is. He always says he tries his hardest to remember but forgets. I don't understand how someone can say that they love me and then forget about me for hours on end. I never forget about him and always call when i say i'm going to call.

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duchesstigerlily Enthusiast

duchesstigerlily

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I've read a lot of your posts and I dont think you need to wonder why someone who says they love you can forget about you for hours on end. What about: "how can someone say he loves me and then cheats on me" or "how can someone say he loves me and then calls me names and treats me like crap" or maybe "how can someone say he loves me and then controls and manipulates me". You have a lot more to worry about then why he didnt call you for a few hours. I thought you were just waiting until you wrote your MCATS before breaking up with him? It seems to me like you are addicted to being in a toxic relationship. This isnt the first time he has cheated on you?

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h0pelessr0mantic Contributor

h0pelessr0mantic

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Yea i am waiting until the MCATs. Well this is basically my thinking. I am going to give him until a finish my MCATS to change, if he doesn't (which he really hasn't been) then I will end it. I was just hoping that maybe he loved me enough to try and change... but i think thats just wishful thinking. And yes, he has cheated before. I have caught him on multiple occasions, on over 20 different dating site and adult hookup sites looking for women, i also have msn conversations between him and other women (all of a sexual nature...like BLATANTLY SEXUAL). This time before the MCATs where i am giving him a chance to change is areal eye opener.

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