What do i do???? This is pretty long =[

[ay3088]

I dont even know where to begin. My ex and I have been together for almost 5 to six years now. We are both twenty now so we spent a lot of time together. I am never sure as to who is the real destructive person in this relationship sometimes i feel as though it really is all me and my crazy emotions that take hold..and other times I feel as though its just me trying to justify my ex's actions..I love him to death i truly do and i imagined spending the rest of my life with him as I have spent so many years with him..but this seems to happen a lot me and him breaking up and getting back together..I want a peaceful happy relationship but i just dont know how to go about it. My own insecurities seem to take hold of me and take the steering wheel and drive. I question him a lot about his where abouts and i question his feelings for me as well. Honestly in my mind I know he is not doing anything and i know that he does love me (why else would we be together so long) but its like word vomit where it just comes out my mouth and i question it all and even worse when i dont receive the answers i would like i get VERY angry..i nit pick and later I break up with him. I KNOW its wrong I know i dont reallyyy want to break up but i do it anyways...and in turn he gets fed up and mad as well. He hates how i question him and how i dont just trust him. Well finally getting to the point..we have broken up AGAIN for the billionth time recently and i of course am heartbroken. But before the break up it was just a huge mess of fightin, insults and cursing at each other. And out of pure anger and spite for his layed back attitude toward it all I lashed out at him by saying the worst possible things i could have ever said to him on two occasions on seprate days...I regret it of course but even my sorrys mean nothing to him...I dont know what to do or say to bring him back to me..i know i messed up but i wish he could understand my insecurites as well..i wish he could b more understanding...what do i do???

[Iakasot]

Be more understanding of your insecurities? You weren't understanding towards him, you criticized him, verbally and emotionally abused him. You broke up just for fun to see what happens to give yourself some sick sense of emotional fulfillment. You invade his privacy and personal space and don't let him breathe. HOW many chances has he given you? You didn't even deserve a second one, he should have someone better in his life than you. Not that it's gonna be hard to do, just about everyone's better.

[bfla]

Iakasot, I gotta say, I think your tone of voice is really questionable for this board. People here need some support.

[soulmeetsbody]

Ouch i kind of understand the poster above. Even if its a bit harsh, its true..but you can MAYBE turn things around for yourself...and MAYBE with him

 

Just...Sort your insecurities out now???

Im in a kind of similar situation, you can see my last thread. And although I am 'clinically depressed', the pain was the same to my ex. So yes, change. You'll make any bf unhappy with the insecurities you have. Before thinking of getting back with him, sort yourself out. It's the only way you can, much later, allow yourself consider having him back AND have a healthy relationship.

 

 

i know easier said than done. im devastated and think about him all the time.but if you love him, change the person who destroyed him, which is the insecure you. You've been with him for a long time, he won't forget you. What is 6 months of sorting yourself out compared to 5-6 years together?thats the only way you can stop feeling guilty, feel good about yourself and consider having him back. and if he doesnt come back, which is possible, you'll be a better person and girlfriend, you wont make the same mistakes and hurt another man. You'll learn from it. My bf was very understanding too but people have limits. People need to look after themselves too.

 

 

Good luck

[Iakasot]

Iakasot, I gotta say, I think your tone of voice is really questionable for this board. People here need some support.

 

I give support to those people who deserve it. Serial killers, rapists, and people like her generally don't.

[ay3088]

Iakasot...

 

Who are you to put me in the same category as a serial killer or rapist???? You have a questionable state of mind to do such a thing but its ok as i dont take offense to what stupid ignorant people have to say.

 

Moreover, I have no wish to argue with you but I do have to defend myself when I see needed. You are no one to me to question my relationship with my ex or to call me abusive etc. I have made my mistakes yes but do you know of his mistakes?? you do not know me or know my relationship and you sure as hell dont know what it is to endure a 6 year relationship where there have been mistakes and mess ups by BOTH of us long distance for a year because of his choices and other things I would rather not get into right now. So although u want to judge I am Sorry but YOU do not bring me down. So keep ur negative feedback and opinions to yourself because this is a HELP forum not a judging one.

 

And thank you to everyone else who gave me very nice and sound advice it is very much appreicated.

[Iakasot]

ay3088...

 

You have admittedly emotionally and verbally abused your ex, and that sort of abuse oftentimes hurts more than physical abuse. Is it really me who has the questionable state of mind when you're the one saying you do things you know are wrong and can't control yourself with your emotions?

 

"Hey, I don't like the way you're looking at me and that you're being too laid back, so I'm gonna call you the biggest piece of sh*t on earth because I feel like it!" That sound familiar? It should, seeing as that's what was your "diplomatic" policy with your ex. Who flips out because somebody looked at em wrong? Psychos lol. Who am I to judge your relationship? You don't have a relationship, because YOU ruined it. Get over it....psycho.

 

I guarantee you if you show your ex this topic, he will agree with me. Actually, I DARE you to show it to him. Also, I love how you use the euphemism of "we broke up" when you dumped him repeatedly. This might be a help forum, but I refuse to positively reinforce and encourage the behavior of any ruthless habitual heart breaker such as yourself.