ay3088 Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 I dont even know where to begin. My ex and I have been together for almost 5 to six years now. We are both twenty now so we spent a lot of time together. I am never sure as to who is the real destructive person in this relationship sometimes i feel as though it really is all me and my crazy emotions that take hold..and other times I feel as though its just me trying to justify my ex's actions..I love him to death i truly do and i imagined spending the rest of my life with him as I have spent so many years with him..but this seems to happen a lot me and him breaking up and getting back together..I want a peaceful happy relationship but i just dont know how to go about it. My own insecurities seem to take hold of me and take the steering wheel and drive. I question him a lot about his where abouts and i question his feelings for me as well. Honestly in my mind I know he is not doing anything and i know that he does love me (why else would we be together so long) but its like word vomit where it just comes out my mouth and i question it all and even worse when i dont receive the answers i would like i get VERY angry..i nit pick and later I break up with him. I KNOW its wrong I know i dont reallyyy want to break up but i do it anyways...and in turn he gets fed up and mad as well. He hates how i question him and how i dont just trust him. Well finally getting to the point..we have broken up AGAIN for the billionth time recently and i of course am heartbroken. But before the break up it was just a huge mess of fightin, insults and cursing at each other. And out of pure anger and spite for his layed back attitude toward it all I lashed out at him by saying the worst possible things i could have ever said to him on two occasions on seprate days...I regret it of course but even my sorrys mean nothing to him...I dont know what to do or say to bring him back to me..i know i messed up but i wish he could understand my insecurites as well..i wish he could b more understanding...what do i do??? Link to comment
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