jammer180 Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 It's been awhile since I posted... I got back together with my ex after being broken up for about 3.5 months. We broke up becuase he had so much going on in his life and he lived far at the time and it was just a really frustrating relationship that neither of us could deal with at the time. After 3.5 months we were both in a better place, and had been talking through email for a few weeks so decided to get together for dinner. It went amazing, and we were both still very attracted to eachother. We took it slow and I made him show me he was ready this time, he said he wanted a relationship and he was definitly ready. It's been two months now, and things are going strange. I thought he was pushing away again, becuase he was becoming busy with other things such as sports and his friends. I thought maybe I scared him away but trying to talk to him about his lack of communication. He basically refuses to talk to me about serious stuff becuase he says that he's unable to communicate properly in relationships and isn't ready to talk about the serious stuff. I figured ok it's only been two months I'm not going to push him, he said he was happier than he's been in a long time and he thought things were going well, so I left it alone. I tried to talk to him on Sunday and he was more than willing to talk all of a sudden. I mentioned I noticed he'd been pushing away a bit and he brought up that we've known eachother almost a year now and he thinks its weird that he can't say I love you. He kept saying maybe this is normal you know maybe it's supposed to be this way and maybe we are supposed to build a friendship frist before the love comes, but in my past relationships (he's only had two that he said i love you that were his only long terms) i said it earlier and I know i rushed saying it but i just feel like i should be able to say it by now and i dont know why i cant. i said you can't becuase you dont love me it's that simple, so do you want to break up? he kept saying no, maybe i just need some time to think. i said ok what does that mean? he said i need to sort through my feelings but i still want to see you. i said no way, that's not going to help or change anything. so, we decided he would take the week to think about whether or not he wants to take a break from our relationship. he kept mentioning maybe needing to talk to his married friends and see what they think. he kept saying maybe he's jumping the gun and maybe he's crazy for feeling this way. he said that there were a few times where he thought he could say it but couldn't cuz he didn't want it to be a lie. i told him i was enjoying how things were going and that i thought it was great that we don't see eachother every single day like most other couples do, and that we both had our own lives which was great, and that i felt he got all the time and space he needed as it was. he said he liked our relationship like that too and that it was different than any other one he'd had. he said he felt closer to me from just being able to talk about our feelings, he said it twice while we talked. anyway, hes actually taking the whole week... i haven't heard from him at all. he said he was sad and how hard it would be to not talk to me all week. thing is, i just feel like we had a major breakthrough finally being able to talk about feelings. we've never talked about feelings, and we've never talked about the relationship, and this past 2 months is the first time we've had a real chance to be together and we only see eachother like 2 or 3 times a week as he likes his time and space and is busy with sports, and i never ever nag him about that or his time out with the boys. he said he likes that too. said he likes everything about our relationship, hes attracted to me and likes everything about me..... so... is this break just him wanting out and not being able to say it? and if so, why didn't he just say so when i said we should break up then like 3 times i said it! and why does he keep saying hes worried he might be making a mistake if we break up, and how he doesnt want to be the fool 6 months from now that lost the girl from a hasty decision? why cant he see that we've only just started to get closer from this conversation and now we might have a real chance at something big? why can't he see that when he rushed into saying i love you with past gf's it obviously didnt work out, or they'd be together now... why cant he see all this?? i dont know what to do.. i feel like im just waiting for a phonecall saying im done. he said this week wasnt about him deciding if we would break up it was to decide if he wanted a break or not... im so confused someone please help me out with some advice please!!!! thanks. Link to comment
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