I feel like I'm doing everything wrong

[Balbina]

I've been with my boyfriend for about 9 months now and things have been going really great. Known him for years and we starting hanging out more and then just CLICKED and everything was going for us.

 

We've both been really stressed lately...and I'm a very emotional person.

 

We've always had a relationship where we tease each other, but sometimes when he tries to annoy me it really sets me off and I get angry, irritable, * * * * * y. I've found myself snapping at him when he sets me off and I hate myself for it. I mean, PMS is one thing and I apologize openly for that (forewarning him of my mood swings), but I hate the fact that I'm on such a short rope.

 

I feel like I sometimes expect him to just leave me alone and he tells me that he's pushed my buttons before and that it shouldn't bother me now all of a sudden. (FYI: he started really teasing me a couple of months in and would persist seeing that I would get worked up. There has never been a time where it all of a sudden just started bugging me)

 

We talk about it sometimes and he apologizes for annoying me.

 

But there are times where he's pushy. I have a low tolerance for uncomfortable situations. Usually, I try to suck it up but I'm not perfect. I get annoyed in sweltering heat... I don't want to do things that don't appeal to me. And he tells me that I act like a princess. Sometimes he brushes off what I'm saying telling me that I can do something, when I clearly can't. We went swimming last week and we were floating in the water, when I got dizzy. I said, "Ok, I don't want to anymore, I can't, I'm going back" and he said "No, you can."... I tried to tell him that I can't as he's trying to show me how I should position to float easier. I keep trying to tell him that I don't want to and he disregards it because HE says that I can do it. It's like sometimes he doesn't want to listen to me because HE knows best.

 

I just feel like sometimes the "honey moon" phase has ended...and it freaks me out. He's the love of my life, an amazing person...and it just scares me that we bicker over little things. This may seem totally trivial but it just freaks me out because I don't want it to progress into some kind of resentment or something in the future.

 

I love him to death but I feel like sometimes when I continually snap at him, it's like I'm ruining it all. He's the greatest guy in the world, and not without fault, but it just scares me that we have these situations where we totally butt heads.

 

I've never really been SERIOUS about anyone before. I've been in relationships but nothing like with him... it just scares me. Usually I don't think that a little tiff is a big problem in the grand scheme, but we've just been butting heads a lot lately.

[djsh4dow]

I've seen this happen a lot in some relationships, including my own. Do you guys spend a lot of time together? Like, every waking moment, if you can?

[SapphireNoir10]

Your probably spending too much time together and getting frustrated.

[Balbina]

I think you guys are right. We do spend a lot of time together...mostly because we're good together. But when we have more than a couple of days of just-US time, with no distractions from school and work...well it gets this way.

 

I'm trying not to over analyze it. I'm making him cookies for when he comes over...and I'll give him some extra special attention ...

 

Does it ever freak you out though?

[djsh4dow]

Yeah, as in, "I love that person so much and we're so great together, so why are we bickering so much?" When you're young, you need to balance your relationships with your SO, family, friends, and most importantly, with yourself. Take some time for yourself, spend some times with your friends, all that jazz. If you spend every waking moment with your SO, you are bound to get irritable. It's inevitable.

[Jelina]

I don't think that you're problem is that you spend alot of time together, what does that have to do with him thinking he can tell you when to stop doing things? I can relate to how you feel because this has happened to me with my bf, and we don't spend alot of time together. He liked to bug me alot and I told him to stop and he wouldn't. I told him it seems like his brain has trouble processing things and he stopped bothering me. Maybe you can do the same with your bf, but in a nicer way...lol. I think you should have a talk with your boyfriend and tell him that when he bothers you and you tell him to stop you mean it!