Sex Addiction

[Sara57]

Okay, so I have a sex addiction. I need it all the time. I'm either having sex of masturbating at least 3 times a day, more if I have the day off from work. In the past it used to get so bad that I have cheated on my boyfriends because he wasn't around and I needed to fulfill my uhh... my duties, I guess you could say, haha. Normally it wouldn't bother me because the relationships weren't serious. But the guy I'm with now is amazing and treats me so well and I care wayy too deeply for him. So far, it's been only 5 months, and I haven't cheated on him yet, and I don't want to. The thing is, I can feel myself weakening and I don't want to! There's this guy at work I've been hanging out with and flirting with. He knows about my boyfriend and my sex addiction and that I want to have sex with him, but he's being very respectful and not letting me touch him haha. Anyway, I guess I'm just asking for advice on how I can stay loyal to my boyfriend and keep my addiction at bay.

 

PS. It's been two weeks since I've had real sex. My boyfriend and i have a temporary long distance relationship.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I'd see a doctor. Maybe your high libido is something that can be brought down a bit.

[ghost69]

you need a guy that's closer and can fulfill you. either that or learn to satisfy yourself when you bf isn't around. it's not excuse for cheating.

[gurlygurl17]

councelling

[metrogirl]

Is this for real?

[arwen]

I think part of it is behavior- the urge is there (and probably stronger than I can imagine), but you have also gotten used to responding to it (instant gratification, so to say, by sex or masturbation).

 

Do you exercise a lot? If not, try duration sports like running and if you like it, make a plan with a goal in terms of distance/time/speed. It will make you feel satisfied and keep your mind of it.

[girl friend]

Sex addiction may not always be 'medical' though, it is often psychological.

 

Have you ever thought about where it comes from? the feelings behind it?

Is it the moment when you are in a guys strong arms that you feel loved and not alone? It often stems back to relationships with parents in early childhood. Do you feel like nobody ever loved you for instance? Maybe you could see a therapist to talk this stuff through with. I mean if it negatively affects your life and you are afraid of it causing you to lose your current great bf, thats worth trying to fix..maybe a therapist can help you do that..

 

girl friend

[Maverick32x]

its a real excuse for cheating imo.... self-control is something that everyone has the ability to have... also the "he stops me from touching him" makes me already get a bad feeling about this... I say break up with your boyfriend, he sounds like a nice guy... shouldn't get cheated on~

[rosephase]

Sex addiction is not something to put out there lightly. When people are addicted to sex it's like a drug. And they use it like a drug. Sometimes it's the only thing that will make them feel "normal" or good at all. From the way you talk about it, I would doubt you have a real sex addiction. I would say you have a high sex drive a propensity to cheat. Ether way, it might be a sign of something larger that is a problem and if you want to you can get help. Professional help with someone who can really sit down and find out what is up with you. If it is an addiction there are 12 step programs to help you as well.

[jengh]

Like Alcoholics Anonymous, there's also Sexaholics Anomymous. You might want to check that out??

[surfjon]

Get yourself a "Rabbit" and a big pack of batteries, and a local B/F.

[stella777]

you need a guy that's closer and can fulfill you. either that or learn to satisfy yourself when you bf isn't around. it's not excuse for cheating.

 

second on that! how long this temporary thing is gonna be? I used to masterbate like 7 times a day when I was in a long distance. then I found it unbearable since I even didnt love the guy and broke it up.

[DropToZero]

Addict or not, you've got to get this under control...get help, hopefully your b/f knows about it. You've got to be more open and honest to him about this to a point where these thoughts cross your mind or you're just going to breed mis-trust or you WILL cheat. Either way, ask yourself before you cheat if you can deal with losing him completely for those 10 minutes of cheating pleasure...your choice.

[CakeLove]

I second the exercise idea. Lots of the same physiological things happen when you run or do cardio....your heart rate is elevated, you release endorphins, you have a feeling of well-being afterwords. Kind of like an orgasm. The great side-effect of it is being in fantastic shape. Sex by itself with no love is pretty empty. If it's just a compulsion...I think you just have some misdirected energies.

[dont_know_what_2_say]

I agree with everyone else that says you should seek out help, especially if you say you cannot control yourself.

if you continue down this road, you might end up with a nasty STD etc.

[Sara57]

Yes, I know about SAA, and I can't find a local one, plus I'm too scared to go in front of other people, online is easier... I've been to a therapist in the past. Working out doesn't help, it just helps to pass the time between sexual tendencies. I work out for two hours a day, five days a week. My boyfriend does know about my addiction, but he doesn't take it seriously.

 

oh, and when i mentioned the other guy at work and him "not letting me touch him," I meant he respects the fact that I have a boyfriend and he doesn't lead me on to him or try to tease me.

 

The long distance will end at the end of August when classes start. I've been good so far and I want to be good all the way.

[rosephase]

I'm really thinking if this is a big of a deal as you are presenting it to be, you should break up with your boyfriend and explain you need some major time working on yourself. You shouldn't have to work so hard not to cheat, if it's such a struggle, and you've never had a boyfriend you haven't cheated on, you aren't ready for a relationship.

[akazie]

It might be a good idea to be mindful of not being in a position where you can cheat, don't be alone with other males at all.