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Am I doing okay?


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Well first off let me say that my girlfriend is very experienced and I am very inexperienced and am a virgin. We've been officially dating for about 10 days but really more like a month. One night she came over to watch a movie and I kissed her and we ended up making out and taking our shirts off. She told me she wanted to have sex and i told her we should wait. She said she was glad I said that. Since then I told her I was a virgin. It's been a little over a week and two dates since that and last night she came over and we made out again and I fingered her. I'm kind of confused because I want to have sex with her but I feel as though I'm being sleezy in some way if I do it now and not do other smaller things first. I really don't know why, things have been going well and I shouldn't feel this way really. I'd like to wait but I don't want to bore her and at the same time I don't want to move too quickly for her, although I'm not sure that that's really an issue. The next time we do something I know I'm going to want to have sex. Even though I haven't had sex, I really don't think it's a big deal, but at the same time it sort of is. Do you think it's been long enough that I should feel fine about doing it?

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just let it progress as it has. you will eventually feel comfortable. you aren't sleezy. if you feel fine, then do it. it's something new for you. once you do it, you might be more open to it. you also might realize you weren't ready. perfectly fine too.

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Sounds like you have some issues etc regarding the morality of sex and so on. Where is this coming from?

But if she is worth it then she will wait until you are ready. If you just keep "fooling around" as you are then she'll be in a frenzy when you do get around to doing it. Hold on to your hat!!!




Thank you guys. Yeah it's sort of a morality thing I suppose a lot of it comes from my last girlfriend who never talked about sex and I'm pretty sure was waiting until she married. I guess she kind of had an influence on me. I don't really feel nervous at all once we get going so I don't think it's that but I do feel a little insecure because I worry that I'm not doing a good job since she is more experienced than me. Should I bring these things up with her?

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I do feel a little insecure because I worry that I'm not doing a good job since she is more experienced than me. Should I bring these things up with her?


No, don't bring them up - insecurity isn't a turn on. Go read some books or web sites on "doing stuff". Actually there's some great info on here too. And just go with the flow. Lotsa foreplay, stretch it out, communication etc. It all comes naturally. She will (hopefully) give you some clues as to what she wants too, so listen to her.


"I don't really feel nervous at all once we get going " - this says it all! You'll do fine buddy.

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I just felt as though she might have left a little disappointed last night and I'm not sure if it's because I didn't do a very good job or because she was hoping to sleep together or what, I'm really not sure. I feel bad that she has to "hold my hand" through everything. I just want to please her.

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Go read some books or web sites on "doing stuff".


Words of wisdom, Clem! lol


OP, she was probably disappointed that you two didn't hook up. No worries.....just tell her you respect her, and don't want to move too fast. Be ready when she comes over.....

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If I could go back to being a virgin knowing all that I know now, I'd want to savor that anticipatory feeling. The newess and excitement. God, I'm getting horny thinking about it! LOL


My point is that why dont you guys spend a little time touching each other all over. Both of you get naked and just explore each other. Kiss the back of her neck and the back of her knees (that's my favorite spot). Just go slow and make every touch count. Look at each other and see the reaction that your touch is having.


After that I'm sure neither of you will have any doubts about whether or not to have sex.

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This is the same thing as if a girl was to ask "he wants to I want to wait" except in your case it's the reverse. I'm sure everyone on here would tell that girl: "if he respects you he will wait, don't do it until you're ready, if he loves you he won't pressure you..." so on and so forth. The same applies to you. She will wait if she cares- period.


Just do lots more messing around... it's fun isn't it? Take your time with her, she's getting her jollies off isn't she?- that should be good enough in the meantime!


Most of what I hear that when you do lose it for the first time, it's never what you'd expect. Mine wasn't perfect, but it was with a guy I loved. So wait, have fun "hookin' up like highschoolers" and don't worry about her getting "bored" if she cares- she will wait just like you would had the situation been reversed.


BTW 10 days, isn't all that long if you've never had sex before... We waited a year!

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