Dating is hard

[ycmanvs]

ONLINE Dating is EXHAUSTING. I have gone on a date almost every night for the past few weeks. Some go very well, others not so much. I need a break. I have a date tonight with a guy that keeps coming up as my number one match on 2 websites. We have been emailing for a couple of months now and I finally have time to meet him.

If it works out, fine...if not, I am taking the weekend off from dating and hanging out with my friends and meeting people in real life.

 

I am in my late 30's. I get emails from guys that range in age from 19-60. That is quite a range. I do not respond to the guys that are young enough to be my children. I find that too creepy.

 

I noticed that you cannot be passive about dating. You have to show interest. You cannot wait for the guys to make the first move. They like to know that you find them attractive.

[riley123]

Yea, I agree.

 

I know some people on this site get frustrated with online dating because they don't get enough responses – and I’m not bragging – but I had too many.

 

It was exhausting and very time consuming to respond with clever and witty e-mails, set up dates, and so on…so I canceled my membership.

[Hollyj]

Have you met anyone you would consider dating?

[Clementine orange]

I know!!!!

 

Being charming all the time and "on" - man it's wearing sometimes. I'm taking a break now pretty much. I want to see my firends and read a book and go hiking and stuff. Enough with the chit chat and flirty flirt stuff.

 

You mentioned "emailing for a couple of months"....that does seem odd to me. In my on-line dating experience we are meeting for coffee within 2 or 3 emails. If I like someone, I'm not chatting for 3 months only to find when I meet them that there is no "connection".

[ycmanvs]

I have met a couple of people that I would consider dating but it did not work out. Since I have dates lined up all the time with new people, sometimes it takes months for our schedules to be open at the same time.

I sometimes have more than one date in one day. I know this may sound bad, but if there is chemistry and I get along with the guy, I do date them exclusively...if there is no connection, I cut my loss and I meet someone else.

This process is getting very tiresome. I have met some guys in real life too, but they do not call, so I do not lose any sleep over them.

I am getting discouraged because I have had some 3rd and even 4th dates with the same guy, but it did not lead to anything.

[confused25]

Are you even being selective with your dates? Or are you just basically meeting everyone that messages you? I'm on an online dating site myself and out of the 4 months I've been on there, I've met a total of 5 guys . . . but I am also very picky. Maybe you are exhausted because you are going out with guys that are not good matches for you. I'll admit that online dating is like having a part-time job, but having that many dates is just ridiculous.

[ycmanvs]

Are you even being selective with your dates? Or are you just basically meeting everyone that messages you? I'm on an online dating site myself and out of the 4 months I've been on there, I've met a total of 5 guys . . . but I am also very picky. Maybe you are exhausted because you are going out with guys that are not good matches for you. I'll admit that online dating is like having a part-time job, but having that many dates is just ridiculous.

 

I am being as selective as possible. I have been on-line for 7 months. I have no idea how many guys I have met, but they were all successful, attractive professionals, with very few exceptions. I live in an area with tons of single people, so it is not hard to find good candidates. It is exhausting because I am working full time, I wake up at 5am...I had a wedding to plan for a friend....and I tried to date.

 

Now, the wedding has already taken place. My contract ends next week....and I will have time to spend with someone special....if I meet that someone.