beentheredonetha Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 I broke up with him a few months ago, went NC because i really did not see us going anywhere. Then sometime this year i called him, we started seeing each other, soon we were sleeping together. then he told me he can't sleep with me because that will just hurt us both and he only wants to be friends with me, I said ok, we go along as friends and then one night one thing leads to another and we end up sleeping together. do it one more time after that. then he started with the friends thing again. i told him to get out of my life and let me be. he did, for 3 days, then he started contacting me again. finally i called him and told him i can't be in touch with him right now. he kept apologising and saying he did not mean to hurt me. deep down i know he did not. btw, he is 10 years younger than me and doesn't know what he wants to do. i am emotionally attached to him, he says he doesn't feel the same way. it hurts like heck and i do want him to stay in touch but it is not helping me right now. i can't move on and i can't stay on. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 It is entirely difficult to cut the strings and stop communicating with someone you love, isn't it? Sometimes it feels as though even if they are only giving you a thin thread to hang onto, it's better than nothing. He's made it clear that he's not into you. His actions are not those of a loving boyfriend but those of someone that is moreso interested in being physical even though he knows it's not good for you... You've got to get determined! Stop participating in this... try to stop talking to him again. He will most likely continue on with contacting you, sleeping with you, and then the "we are only friends and shouldn't sleep together" line as long as you allow him. It's a rollercoaster for you.. But not a fun one! Link to comment
beentheredonetha Posted July 24, 2008 Author Share Posted July 24, 2008 Thanks, you are correct. it is a stupid pattern that has developed and i refused to see it. i don't think this time i am going to ask him to not contact me, i will just stop responding to him, once again. though i am tempted to tell him to not contact me until he is sure he wants to be in a relationship with me. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 Maybe you could have a talk with him and just let him know that if he should ever decide he is interested in a future with you, then he should call but otherwise, let you be... This way, if he tries to contact you in the future, you won't be left ignoring him and thinking "but maybe he changed his mind... maybe he realized..." Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 He's just not offering you what you want, and he is making a point of taking sex from you while rejecting you emotionally. There's just nothing in this for you. The best bet on something like this is to just quit taking his calls if he calls, because you know it will just lead to sex and him telling you yet again he shouldn't have done that. Shows a willingness to take what he wants (sex) then kick you in the head emotionally when he's had it. Really uncool thing to do. Link to comment
beentheredonetha Posted July 24, 2008 Author Share Posted July 24, 2008 Yes, i know what you are saying. it is just that when he says this stuff about wanting to be my friend and all.... i fall for it, i start thinking i am emotionally attached and i am leading him on with the whole sex thing. i really was not. i was not even giving him a hug when i see him and there was no physical contact that would make him think this was going anywhere. then he says he cares about me and i feel like an evil person for doubting the friendship until we end up in bed. (so angry with myself right now, since i am being more honest and seeing it for what it is) Link to comment
xonicolemarie Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 yeah, sex doesnt lead to love...hes obviously not interested...u ended up having sex and he pretty much repeated that he just wanted to be friends....I wouldnt want to see you being used for sex..hes not going to give u what u want..im sure there is someone else who will Link to comment
beentheredonetha Posted July 24, 2008 Author Share Posted July 24, 2008 yes, i know that and i just need to stop letting my heart get the way of NC now. Thank you everyone for your input. Link to comment
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